2014 Predictions


Super Hero And All Round Good Guy
Well its that time of the year again when we have a none to serious stab in dark at what will happen next year just for a bit of fun. Well lets get things started.

• RedBull will be 3rd in the WCC
• Someone other than Seb will win the WDC
• Massa will find his mojo
• Pastor and Roman will have a crash
• Bernie won't go to jail
• McLaren will finish behind Lotus
• Williams will get a podium
• Kevin will score more points than Jenson
• Abu Double will be the decider.
• Pirellis will explode
• We will have a sub 2 second pit stop
• The cost cap for 2015 will be abandoned
• Webber will not do a back flip at LeMans
• The Lotus Quantum deal will never happen
• Silverstone will be monsoon wet
• So will Spa
• Ron Dennis will come back
• Ross Brawn will come back
• I will watch at least 4 races from my bed
• Bernie will announce his retirement date
• I won't watch the BBC coverage even once
• RedBull will be caught cheating and get away with it
• Caterham will pull out of F1
• Kimi Vs Alonso battles will get nasty
• Spectacular turbo blow outs will happen many many times
My punt at the rules:

  • 10 teams only by Abu Dhabi.
  • Red Bull to lose the titles, Horner to yeah, no, erm... pretend they didn't.
  • EJ sacked.
  • Sirotkin to replace one of them by Asia.
  • Hulkenburg to look great; passed over for top drives by knobheads with money.
  • Lotus TMC.
  • Maldonado to win one but still lose the battle to RoGro.
  • Alonso to lose his cool, Raikkonen to not give shit.
  • Massa to be shown up by Bottas.
  • JEV not to make 2015.
  • Button to retire, replaced by Alonso.
  • Vandoorne placed in a seat for 2015.
  • Hamilton seen shouting at random Pirelli employees.
  • ...as they NEARLY cost him the title!
  • Perez to collide with KMag...
  • ...and Maldonado!
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I forgot last year... so here goes (bullet-pointed and everything!!)!!!

  • Both Caterham and Marussia to score points
  • There will be less than 10 cars running by the end of Australian GP
  • Bernie will say New Jersey will be ready, but then it won't be
  • Bernie to be found guilty but somehow get out of being punished and still be the dark overlord of F1
  • EJ to predict something sensational and get it wrong, for a change
  • There will be at least one 'cooking with (insert driver)' feature on the telly
  • BBC and Sky to walk into each other in the paddock because they weren't looking
  • After virtually no rain in races this year, it will piss down in at least 5 next year
  • No driver will be replaced this year, and no team will drop out
  • Despite all the promises, Red Bull and Vettel will stroll to their fifth consecutive titles
  • Kimi and Fernando will try to drive each other off the track by the end of the season
  • The double points gimmick will get dropped
  • Every driver will score points, apart from Chilton, who will claim he deserves to be in F1 by finishing every race
  • There will be no incident between Grosjean and Maldonado, but plenty between Maldonado and someone else
  • Schumacher will be touted for a sensational return to F1, but then pull out at the last moment
  • Webber will be touted for a sensational return to F1, but then pull out at the last moment
  • Yamamoto will be touted for a sensational return to F1, but then pull out at the last moment
  • The safety car will lead at least 1 lap in every race this year
  • There will be no tyre incidents this year
  • Vettel will win 19 consecutive races
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It would be something to watch though...

Here's mine
  • McLaren will win two GP's late in the season but Button won't be the driver
  • Button will retire at the end of the season
  • One of the Ferrari drivers won't make it to the end of the season
  • Vettel will win the WDC
  • Mercedes will win the WCC
  • Ross Brawn will buy into the Williams team and come back mid-season as team principal
  • Sam Michael and Martin Whitmarsh will be criticised heavily by the members of CTA
  • McLaren will send the car out at least twice with a loose wheel after a pit stop
  • Daniel Riccardo will win two GP's following Vettel retirements
  • Grosjean will break his duck
  • Marussia will beat Caterham (again) in the WCC
  • The BBC will end their contract with FOM and the end of the season
  • Massa will get a podium
  • Bottas will take one pole in changing weather conditions
  • Rosberg and Hamilton will win the same number of races
  • Eddie Jordan will nut Simon Lazenby and we will all wish we had done the same
  • David Coulthard will finally come out of the closet
  • There won't be as many engines blow ups as we are all expecting
  • ERS, however, will be a constant problem for all teams
  • Jules Bianchi will score 1 point
  • Double points for the final race will be dropped
  • There will be seven different GP winners in 2014
Posting without reading previous posts so any similar predictions are purely coincidental.

  • Only Red Bull, Mercedes & Ferrari win races
  • Magnussen out scores Button for the 1st half of the season but mysteriously loses form in the second half.
  • Maldonado doesn't complete the season
  • Williams get at least one podium
  • Kobayashi gets Caterham a point
  • Chilton finishes every race in last place
  • The McLaren won't be orange.
  • Lotus changes it's name before the end of the season
  • Rain in Bahrain or Abu Dhabi at somepoint over the weekend.
  • Red Bulls second driver slips into obscurity, who got that drive anyway?
  • An exploding tyre ruins Hamiltons race at some point in the season.
  • Kimi v Alonso turns out to be a damp squib.
  • Button to retire at the end of the season
  • Whitmarsh to be sacked
  • I get my OH to watch at least one race in the season.
  • RBR will be well in front in every race until they overheat due to Newey packaging the car too tightly
  • Mr Ecclestone gets sent to prison from where he declares that the final race of the season will have 100 times the points of the rest put together
  • Ross Brawn returns to work due to his wife getting upset over his using her steam iron to develop his new turbo design
  • Massa becomes WDC by quadruple lapping of the field at Abu Dhabi using Ross Brawns new turbo design
  • Williams win the WCC following Ross Brawn being gifted with lots of their shares by Frank
  • Neither of the two Renault Lotus drivers is involved in any incidents on or off the track
  • The pay drivers all beat their more distinguished team mates
  • McLaren do a deal with Honda and announce that they will get points in 2015 despite not getting any in 2014
  • Max Chilton will finish in last place in every race but due to the number of engine failures throughout the field he will score points in every race
  • A certain NZ fan will declare that he still thinks that Alonso and Vettel are the bees knees but Massa will join them due to his winning the WDC in an uncompetitive car (except for the last race)
  • Brogan will win the Euro lottery and divide his winnings between all CTA members
  • The Stig will have many more outings on birthdays
  • Ricciardo will win a race.
  • Maldonado will get Lotus' best finish of the year and improve his reputation but...
  • Grosjean will generally be faster and more consistent (and beat Maldonado in the WDC).
  • Magnussen will score less points than Button.
  • Every engine manufacturer will have an engine/ERS related retirement within the first three races.
  • The V6s will sound crap.
  • The new cars will be so slow that a major regulation change will be put in place for 2015 to speed them up.
  • After another change of ownership, the current Lotus (Enstone) team will try to change its name to Caterham.
  • A championship contender will have a grid penalty at the final race due to running out of engines.
  • The championship will be fought between a driver with a fast but unreliable engine and a driver with a slow but reliable engine.
  • McLaren will get podiums but not a race win.
  • Williams will only be slightly less crap than 2013.
  • Caterham or Marussia will get their first points in a topsy turvy wet race with lots of retirements in the first half of the season.
  • In-season testing rules will be relaxed.
  • The Pirelli tyres will be too hard and we'll see less pit stops.
  • Raikkonen will be completely outclassed by Alonso.
  • Mercedes will win six or more races (twice as many as 2013).
  • A large car manufacturer will show serious interest in entering a new team for 2015 but it will eventually amount to nothing.
  • The double points for the final race rule will be scrapped before Australia.
  • A new race in an obscure and seemingly inappropriate country will be announced for 2016.
  • Broadcasters and sponsors will try to make a big deal out of the new driver numbers but no one will give a shit.
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  • Renault will have the least powerful power unit.
  • Renault will have the most efficient power unit.
  • Mercedes will have the most powerful power unit.
  • Mercedes will have the least reliable power unit.
  • Ferrari says 'screw you' to the regulations and straps two V6 power plants together to make a glorious 3.2l V12... I wish.
  • Guttierez outscores Sutil.
  • One of Marussia and Caterham score a point.
  • Ricciardo proves to be as competitive as Webber in 2010; Seb throws a few tantrums as a result of having a competitive team-mate, but proves to be quicker by some margin in the end.
  • At least one team produces a car with a B-Type, 'pen-is' nose.
  • Tyres have less grip because Pirelli decides to go to the opposite extreme, producing granite-like tyres.
  • Consequently, drivers with a heavy right foot qualify better than those who like to finesse their cars about.
  • Races remain processional, because it is more efficient to drive in someone's wake than to be the first car punching a hole in the air - much like cycling.
  • At least one team won't be able to pay their engine bill.
  • Magnussen proves to be quick, but accident-prone.
  • The engine noise doesn't sound like F1.
  • Alonso has the measure of Raikkonen.
  • Hamilton has the measure of Rosberg.
  • Ross Brawn makes some noises about joining McLaren.
  • Ross Brawn makes some noises about joining Williams.
  • Ross Brawn confirms retirement.
  • Bernie Ecclestone is convicted.
  • Bernie Ecclestone appeals conviction.
  • A driver is seriously/fatally injured.
  • Both titles are determined before the final race.
  • Adrian Newey joins McLaren.
  • Someone, official or otherwise, provides the world with a mechanism of watching F1 on the internet via live streaming.
  • At least one driver is replaced mid-season.
  • Every engine manufacturer wins at least one race.
  • McLaren continue to use the silver paint scheme that looked cool in 2006, but looks a bit disco-fever now.
  • Daniil Kvyat thumps Jean-Eric Vergne.
  • Hulkenberg drills Perez.
  • Massa and Bottas are fairly even.
  • Grosjean destroys Maldonado.
  • The season starts off interesting, then interest begins to wane as the novelty wears off. I continue to watch and comment because I have a schadenfreudic fascination watching rich people spend their money attempting to make expensive toys go round a topological circle faster.
Here goes with my predictions.
  • Mechanical failures will make this season much more enjoyable
  • Mercedes will do the double this season.
  • Lewis Hamilton will win the Hungarian Grand Prix with Kimi Raikkonen coming 2nd
  • All of Pastor Maldonado's money will be spent on repairing his and Romain Grosjeans car's leaving Lotus virtually bankrupt.
  • Christian Horner won't be looking smug.
  • There will be no win finger this season.
  • Kimi Raikkonen and Fernando Alonso will get along great all season.
  • Daniel Ricciardo will be no better than what Mark Webber was.
  • The Hulk will once again enhance his reputation as a driver but none of the top teams will sign him up for 2015.
  • Kevin Magnussen will get the same amount of points as Sergio Perez did in 2013 and finish above Jenson Button in the standings and will still get the sack.
  • Martin Whitmarsh say's that he will not resign even though Mclaren have another shocking Season
  • No one will be able to say Danill Kvyat's surname properly.
  • JEV, Adrian Sutil and Sergio Perez will be virtually anonymous all season.
  • Felipe Massa will have his best season since 2008
  • The Caterhams and the Marussia's will once again score no points.
  • I won't watch any of the races on the BBC.
  • The race at the A-1 Ring will be the best of the season due to the fact that both Red Bulls will fail to Qualify.
  • Singapore will be the worst race of the year
I predict that Lotus will fail to make the grid for the first race, I don't want Lotus to fail but I will admit I would find Maldo's predicament amusing if it does..
What's that F1Yorkshire you reckon you can get your OH to watch at least one race? I went out with a girl for five years once I never managed to get her to do that, actually one time she came in the room mid race walked over to the telly switched it off and stated that we were going shopping, I quickly turned the TV back on and told that she could **** off and go shopping on her own...
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That's probably the least likely of my predictions. I've got more chance of getting her to watch Star Wars, a film she has never seen and refusing to watch it. Suppose no girl is perfect she has to have some flaws.
Just a few for now:

There will be a lot of exploding engines/engine failures.
Several drivers won't be able to master the new engines, and in consequence, will whinge a lot.
Pirelli won't have to worry so much, as it will be the engines that are at fault. Finally, not them!
Nando and Kimi will be fine.
It will be cold, but different in Sochi.
Bernie might not be able to attend every race!
I forecast that Mr Ecclestone will be convicted and sentenced to a longish term of imprisonment. He will then suddenly become a victim of dementia, being released on humanitarian grounds before the end of the year. Then, as with Ernest Saunders, he will make a miraculous recovery allowing him to settle the 2015 calendar.
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