2013 Predictions


Valued Member
So your 2012 Predictions have been tried, and some of you got some right! Well done you! So, for the sake of New Year's Day 2014, lets have your not entirely serious predictions for the year ahead...?

  • McLaren will bungle at least one pit-stop
  • Charles Pic will be outqualified by Timo Glock at least three times
  • The grass will turn out to be less green for Lewis Hamilton
  • Tooned will not reflect Jenson Button's new #1 status
  • Perez will be inconsistent
  • Valteri Bottas will do better compared to Maldonado than Senna did
  • Felipe Massa will on occasion be "back to his old self" but still be comprehensively battered by Alonso
  • Mark Webber will blame everyone else in an incident that had as much if not more to do with his aggression
  • Mark Webber will be a pointless appendage to Red Bull
  • Caterham will get slightly closer to Toro Rosso but not make that quantum leap
  • Hamilton will cock up one of the qualifying sessions and take an early bath in Q1
  • If Vettel addresses a criticism of him, a new one will appear
  • Paul di Resta will slide further into abject anonymity
  • Kimi Raikkonen will continue to be the rockstar of F1
  • Romain Grosjean will be penalised for a first lap incident which he was an innocent victim of
  • Nico Hulkenburg will sign for a top team for 2014
  • Ferrari will do better than their calls of "crisis" would suggest
  • We will see the finger in India
  • The DRS qualifying and practice restrictions' only effect will be that Mercedes will look shit all weekend rather than just on Sunday
  • There will be loads of teeth gnashing about Bahrain, but neither Bernie, the teams, Todt, Cameron or Obama will make any attempt to do anything about it...
  • @RasputinLives will not finish bottom in Team Mate Prediction 8-)
  • Cyril Abetiboul will be gone by years end
  • There will be a range of "hilarious" jokes about Jenson & Martin's love lives...
  • ...ignoring Jenson's obvious fling with DC!
  • Some chancer will make a huge song and dance about entering HRT for 2014; nothing materialises
  • Esteban Gutierrez will score less than a fifth of Hulkenburg's points
  • Sebastian Vettel will sign for Ferrari for 2014
  • Vettel will win the WDC
  • Redbull will win the WCC
  • Suzi Perry will lead me to watch the BBC at least once
  • Hamilton will win a race
  • Mclaren will be 4th in the Constructors WCC
  • Massa will win a race
  • Webber will leave Redbull at the end of the year
  • Kubica will do a test in an old F1 car
  • Perez will end the year at least 25 points down on Button
  • Silverstone will be a wet weekend
  • DiResta will get beaten by his team mate
  • Bernie will have a health scare
  • Schumacher will hang around like a bad smell
  • Rosberg and Hamilton will crash into each other
  • Many teams will abandon developement early to work on the 2014 cars
  • Williams will continue to improve
  • Grosjean will find his mojo and out perform Kimi on several occasions
  • Mercedes will 'enjoy' the extreme criticism of the Hamilton fans on CTA even though last year no one cared.
  • A race will be red flagged
A combination of hopes and predictions

Red Bull will win the WCC
Fernando Alonso will win the WDC - a close run between him and Vettel decided in the last race
McLaren won't win a race
Williams will win 2 Grands Prix, both for Maldonado
Hulkenberg will win a Grand Prix for Sauber
Massa will win a race due to an Alonso retirement
Hamilton will win one race, as will Rosberg
Marussia will beat Caterham in the WCC
Grosjean will win one race
Force India won't complete the season
Daniel Ricciardo will replace Mark Webber, perhaps before the end of the season
The US Grand Prix will be as dull as ****
The Korean Grand Prix will be replaced
It will rain in Monaco during the race weekend and probably for the race
Suzy Perry will be shit but I won't care as I'll be watching Sky
Frank Williams will retire at the end of the season
Georgie Thompson will be outed as transexual
Antony Davidson will win Le Mans
Vettel will win the WDC
Mark Webber will win at Silverstone and Monaco
Adrian Newey will come up with an innovation that every team try's to copy but won't be anywhere near as good.
Christan Horner will be looking smug.
Alonso will finish second in the WDC
Massa won't score a point until the first race in Europe.
Mclaren will have perfect reliability and perfect pit stops but have a slow car.
Hamilton will be focusing on 2014.
Mercedes will be rubbish and will finish behind Force India in WCC.
Maldonado will not win a race.
Grosjean won't crash into anyone at all.
Di Resta will give dull interviews.
Sauber will be hard on there tyres
Caterham and Marussia will still not make up any ground on Torro Rosso and Williams at the back of the field.
Canada will be the best race of the Season
The Singapore GP race will be the worst.
There won't be any fans at the Korean Grand Prix.
  • Alonso will win the WDC
  • Vettel will have a massive hissy fit about a back marker
  • Hamilton will insist he is happy at Mercedes
  • EJ will talk bollocks
  • DC will big up RedBull
  • Suzi will be lovely
  • Whitmarsh will kiss Button
  • Horner will bore the arse off me
  • Romain will cause an accident
  • Maldonado will cause an accident
  • Monaco will be boring
  • Kimi will make me laugh
  • I will continue to be a misery guts
  • Alonso is WDC
  • RBR are WCC
  • Horner will say 'Yeah, no' infinite times
  • The Bahrain Grand Prix will be a rousing success
  • Grosjean will learn how to drive a tractor
  • Hamilton will say how he is happy with Mercedes progress
  • Hamilton is not happy with Mercedes progress
  • Di Resta will tell a joke
  • di M will run for king of Italy
  • Bernie will bribe the jury in his trial for bribing the jury at his trial for bribing the jury in the German banker case
  • Schumacher will appear in the paddock looking like a sad clown
  • Perez says lots of words beginning with 'H' in Tooned
  • Ron Dennis moves the McLaren garage next to Mercedes to make gloating easier
  • And the Zimbabwean Grand Prix is GO!
  • Di Resta wont really tell a joke
  • Marrussia score a point and Mike Gasgione explodes
  • He is consoled with chicken and a fishing rod
  • Massa will return to slowness
  • Perez will return to quickness
  • But collides with Button in a freak accident involving Julian Clarey
  • Mercedes will botch up Hamiltons stops on a regular basis
  • Ferrari will have a crap start to the season and a key pitwall member will get the sack
  • Massa will win a race after Alonso and Vettel crash into each other
  • Hamilton will insist he's made the right decision to leave
  • Some weird Grand Prix in the middle of nowhere will be announced in the future
  • It will rain in Bahrain
  • Perez will have a string of podiums but a greyhound incident in Canada will rob him of a first win and gift Hamilton his only win of 2013 on the last lap
  • Button will complain about balance and not qualify in the top 3 all season and in Korea gets out qualified by the Caterhams.
  • Horner will insist that the RB9 is legal despite the car having 6 wheels
  • Maldanado and Grosjean will go side by side into Eau Rouge, chaos ensures
I expect Red Bull and Vettel to dominate 2013 the same way they did in 2011. Vettel will get his 4th WDC (and last with RBR) and the only person that could challenge would be Webber but he is going to be busy finding a new seat for 2014. Ferrari and Alonso will go backwards with Massa taking the lead of the team and finally returning to the winning circle by winning at home. Alonso will continue his Samurai tweeting non-sense until he realizes he may need a hara-kiri (so to speak). Best of the rest will be Mercedes and the Hamilton-Rosberg duo will work out just fine (to everybody's surprise). McLaren will be 3rd best with Button winning a race or 2 by July and then Perez taking over the team and dominating his teammate. Renault and Sauber will be there or thereabouts at some races but won't be as successful as 2012. Maldonado will be utterly dominated by Bottas and Williams will remember 2012 with nostalgia due to the poor results. Force India will score half the points they scored in 2012 but will still manage to beat Williams. Red Bull team b, I mean Toro Rosso will improve their points tally but will finish just ahead of the "new teams". Caterham and Marussia will end the year without points. Helmut Marko will criticize Ferrari (at first), Vettel will not, knowing he will be wearing red in 2014. Montezemolo will continue to support his drivers in public though at the end will kick Massa out. He will say F1 needs Ferrari to succeed, Bernie will agree, even if he is retired by then to do anything about it.
  • Jenson Button to win the WDC.
  • Sergio Perez to win at least 2 races.
  • Ferrari to finish second in the constructors.
  • Mclaren to win the WCC
  • Red Bull to finish 3rd in the WCC
  • Alonso to be on the podium at least 12 times this season
  • Alonso to claim more poles than any other driver this year.
  • Raikkonen to win a race but struggle this year :(
  • Mercedes to beat Lotus to 4th
  • Lewis Hamilton to win more than 1 race for Merc
  • Rosberg to be on the podium at least twice this season
  • Vettel to win just 2 races
  • Webber to retire at the end of the season
  • Sauber and Force India to have a big battle to finish 6th in the championship.
  • Toro Rosso to beat Williams this year.
  • Caterham to score points in a wet race.
  • Marussia to finish last of all the constructors.
  • Monaco GP to be as boring as ever.
1) Lewis Hamilton will finish in the top three at the first GP.
2) Sergio Perez will find life at McLaren hard and fail to put in a significant performance until 7 or 8 GP's into the season
3) Massa will slip back into his old ways and leave Ferrari regretting keeping him on.
4) Button will win a race in the first half of the season but will never be close to mounting a title challenge
5) Red Bull will be slow out of the blocks but Vettel will win the title
6) Caterham will not score a point
7) Marrusia will score a point
8) Bernie will end up in a German prison
9) Lauda will quit Mercedes by mid season
10) Rosberg will claim he has a wonderful working relationship with Hamilton while every magazine and newspaper will claim otherwise
11) Webber will announce his retirement
12) Kobyashi will return at some point in a one off drive, standing in for someone
13) The rules for 2014 will be modified to such an extant they may as well be called the rules for 2013
14) F1 viewing figures will take another dip in the UK
  • Caterham will have various "1 second improvement!" upgrades (all of them fail)
  • Marussia will generally be better than Caterham and finish 10th or higher in the end table
  • Rosberg will grow increasingly frustrated with Hamilton as the season goes on
  • Webber to retire
  • Grosjean to improve his first lap behaviour and finally win a race
  • Räikönnen to win more than one race
  • Lotus to end up 3rd in the Constructions Championship
  • Pèrez to win at least 3 races
  • Maldonado to pull another great drive out of the bag and win another race for Williams
  • Vettel to win the Championshp after fighting it out with both Button and Alonso, with Pèrez hot on their tails
  • Räikkönen to walk off the grid at the Brazilian Grand Prix and personally open the gate which was closed last season
  • Red Bull will not win the Constructors Championship, losing it to Mclaren
  • Lauda will say silly things
  • Kobayashi to make a glorious return at the Japanese Grand Prix, winning it and samurai-kicking everyone off the podium during the ceremony
  • Rosberg will get all the bad pitstops and mechanical failures this season, which is attributed to "bad luck"
  • di Resta will make the last race end on an anti-climax again
  • Hülkenberg will Hulksmash everyone out of the way at one race and win it
  • Red Bull will have the best car
  • Ferrari will challenge them in both championships
  • Webber will retire
  • Hulkenberg will replace him
  • McLaren will be fighting with the Lotus duo in the championship
  • Someone will have an over-rated season
  • Ferrari will sandbag, and constantly downplay their chances
  • I will tell them to shut up and be realistic for once
  • Massa will do better than last year in comparison to the Eyebrow
  • The Eyebrow will utter some nonsense
  • Bottas and Maldonado will be the surprise of the season
  • Force India will still not have announced their line up
  • I will miss a least 15 races live this season due to working on Sundays
  • Someone will fail to acknowledge the rules of "ALL DA TIME YOU HAVE TO LEAVE A SPACE! OKAY?!" - possibly Maldonado
  • Hamilton will have a Raikkonen-ish season
  • Rosberg will retire and become the pop princess again, I see he/she has had a number 1 in the UK with WLL.I.AM recently
  • I will find £10 million behind my couch and try to fund myself into a race seat, only to realise I can't race due to being too superior, therefore sponsoring Buemi who will make a return at Mercedes.
  • Raikkonen and Grosjean would be the driver pairing of the season
  • The Toro Rosso drivers will get sacked as there's not much between the two
  • Marussia will beat Caterham, points? No-no, most likely to concentrate on 2014
  • @Jos the Boss will get challenged for the weather and will get beaten by several others
  • The Fantasy F1 League will ruin my life as I'll become so stressed out
  • Watermelon GP will arise from nowhere again and take the fight to Red Bull and Ferrari, their star driver being Slyboogy, the team manager being HammydiRestarules who will order EvilWhippet to crash like Grosjean in Spa, he will accept the challenge and oblige, thus winning the title
  • Vettel will win the WDC. Again.
  • Red Bull will win the WCC. Again.
  • Hamilton will win 2 races.
  • Mclaren will take only one of two of their season's victories at Hungary.
  • Vettel will NOT win in North America. Never has, never will...
  • ...but he will win at India and Japan.
  • A Grand Chelem will be scored by someone other than Vettel
  • Kimi will lead Lotus to a 1-2 at some point - I'll go for Bahrain or Spa.
  • Perez will be within one win of Button by the end of the year.
  • There will be at least 5 rainy GPs...
  • ...which will lead us all to chastise Charlie Whiting for starting behind a SC/leaving the SC out for too long.
  • Marussia will score a point, likely to be at a chaotic Monaco GP.
  • Alonso will claim that the Ferrari is slow, although everyone with something between their ears will know that is will be fast and that he is talking &(*$%^£%s
  • Ron Dennis and Luca di Montezemolo will finally go ahead with their 10 round charity boxing match. It will be commentated on by Murray Walker.
  • We won't see Daniel Ricciardo frown. Not once.
  • Maldonado will get his superlicense revoked.
  • I will win the FF1 quadruple!!!
Alonso will win the WDC
Mercedes will win the WCC
Lewis will win three races
Rosberg will be second at least once
Button will only out-qualify Perez 8 times
Raikkonen will not care about anything he does
RoGro will hit someone on lap one
Perez will not win a "normal" race
Hulkenberg will get Sauber's first win
Hamilton will be ahead of a Mclaren by the end of the season
Marussia will finally get a point and finish ahead of Caterham
10 different race winners!
Chilton will be over praised
Maldonado will get a race ban
Mercedes will get a 1-2 at Mercedes Monza!
Mclaren Honda will be confirmed
BBC will be better than Sky!
And Lewis shall lead the WDC at one point!
Mercedes will get a 1-2 at Mercedes?


Your 2013 predictions are almost as bad as your weather predictions! :p
Only 5 races in but it's fun to look at this thread again and see how hilariously wrong and how spookily correct some are. And I was so close to having my Bahrain Lotus 1-2, bloody Vettel!
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