Did you know you can get fake spray on mud if you have a 4x4 and you live in the city..
http://www.theguardian.com/science/2005/jun/14/uknews
http://www.theguardian.com/science/2005/jun/14/uknews
Meanwhile, on another planet...
- Thread starter Brogan
- Start date
We are talking about that too its just feels like watching an episode of Keeping Up Appearences. The storyline might be slightly different but the plots the same. We all know certain things are going to be said at some point and we all know what the outcome will be.
Same thing has been happening for years.
The FIA's technical team are now called The Watchmen.
TEABAG YOKEL INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION STRATEGY GROUP RECOMMENDATIONS FOR THE FUTURE OF THE FORMULA ONE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP
AIMS: To improve the Formula One World Championship ("the Show")
We, the utterly august and in no way insane, members of the Teabag Yokel International Association Strategy Group hereby propose a raft of changes designed to improve the Show. Any failure to do so will be the fault of Ron Dennis.
PROPOSALS:
- Each race, there will be a random change of circuit announced two laps before the 1/3 and 2/3 points of each race, and enacted at said 1/3 and 2/3 points. This should be possible at circuits with significant run-off areas and will create new configurations and new challenges as the race progresses. This will also test set-up ideas to the max...
- The race to finish at any time in the last 5 laps, as per the successful pilot at the Chinese Grand Prix. This should create greater strategic intrigue.
- Fuel flow meters to be calibrated randomly, so teams have no idea if they're going to make the 100kg/hr.
- Night races to be created randomly at any time during any Grand Prix, using the pioneering technology of our friend and ally C.M. Burns.
- Vapour trails.
- All teams to give one testing day a year to Ralf Schumacher.
- Huge amplifiers to be attached to the back of the car in order that the engine noise can be heard.
- The competitors who qualify for the top 10 to be forced to start on 1980s Pirelli qualifiers.
- DRS only to be available for competitors outside the top 3 in qualifying.
- 1 WCC point for having the prettiest car as judged by the presenters of the host nation's version of Top Gear.
- Wet paint spillages on random parts of the track.
- Drivers to transport own tyres from airport with no external assistance
- Each driver to get out and push car for formation lap.
- Races to start after a random number of red lights goes out.
- 1 WCC point for fancy dress as judged by the Dutch ambassador to the host nation
- Each car to be driven for at least one lap by Team Principals.
So Bernie as Dr Mahattan, Mateschitz as Ozymandiaz and Maldonado as Rorschach.
Who's the chick...
So what you are saying teabagyokel is that circuits with built in different layouts such as Silverstone with its long and short configurations and Abu Dhabi with its extra loops will randomly change configuration during a race.
Is that correct?
I like it....
Is that correct?
I like it....
Mephistopheles - Yes, but just like DRS, this will also happen at circuits where it is not remotely a good idea:
Wombcat
Podium Finisher
If the drivers can make their own choice every lap, it gives more overtaking opportunities.
And if they have to take each route 1/3 of the race, it would also give interesting strategic options
And the chance of a rider getting their count wrong and a penalty after the race 
And if they have to take each route 1/3 of the race, it would also give interesting strategic options
And the chance of a rider getting their count wrong and a penalty after the race 
rufus_mcdufus
Champion Elect
That's actually quite an interesting idea!
teabagyokel in that Monaco picture it looks like they've already marked out an alternative line in white paint, along with a directional arrow to assist the drivers. Now that line would be interesting!
soccerman17
Race Winner
I have a friend who needs this quite badly
I have a question.
When the hell did F1 cars ever leave vapour trails? Someones 'avin' a tin bath..
When the hell did F1 cars ever leave vapour trails? Someones 'avin' a tin bath..
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1991?
There must have been moisture in the air cars still do that today..
Yes but Bernie isn't funny is he? Even his knob jokes are rubbish..
55 post (by 20 people) to 11 (by 5) since yesterday morning
Like I said though. We all.know how that one is going to end and it ain't about Formula 1.
Rest assured that Maldonado will always find something to hit.
I haven't seen any evidence of that. This has nothing to do with the drivers at all.
Precisely. We see these stories every year. The old, "pay no attention to the man behind the curtain" story whose sole intention is to distract everyone. Not sure they really needed it this year though, as everyone is already bitching and moaning about one thing or another already.
The outrage that people are summoning due to these "alleged proposals" is completely unwarranted. Especially when the bulk of these "changes" should be welcomed.
Titanium skid plates - Fine by me
Elimination of front brake aero bits - So the (alreadsy) glowing brakes are more visible, nothing wrong there
More standing starts (One of the most exciting events in all of sports) - YES PLEASE!
Faster pit stop technology - This will almost certainly lead to unexpected events, and once again, it's no big deal
I do agree that a reduction in race length is absurd, and I'm sure that suggestion will go the way of the sprinklers in short order.
But I'll get out of the way now and let the doom and gloom continue. I suppose that is a bit more dramatic.
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