Meanwhile, on another planet...


Staff Member
Apparently, Formula One needs to change to improve "The Show".
It's just not visually exciting enough for casual fans.
After all, what's the point in Instagramming a boring, regular old photo of an F1 car if there are no vapour trails?

As such, the latest incarnation of "the out of touch brigade", known this time as the "Strategy Group" are proposing, amongst others, the following changes:
  1. The return of sparks
  2. Glowing brake discs
  3. Vapour trails
  4. Standing starts after safety cars
  5. Reduced race length
  6. Faster pit stops
Wow! Look at that! Caterham just did a sub 2 second pit stop! How exciting!
What a shame they've been lapped in the race, are currently last in the championships and have zero points.

Maybe I'm just out of touch with current F1 but I can't fathom how any of that is going to improve my enjoyment of the primary reason for the existence of Formula One, which is the actual racing.
But then the racing has taken a back seat to "The Show" for a long time now.

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse after DRS, silly tyre rules, and all the other nonsense introduced over the past few seasons.

I despair.

- every 15 minutes all the cars should pull to the side of the track to allow for a three minute commercial break;
- the grid girls should pole dance around the driver markers;
- penalty points resulting in a ban should also incur 12 lashes, carried out on the grid of the missed race;
- all pit crews should be given paintball guns for use during drive through penalties;
- all circuits should have at least one jump;
- an extra gear is available forf all teams who clothe their pit crews in fancy dress;
- drivers' partners should have a mass pillow fight after qualifying, the top three earn their partner's promotion up the grid, bottom three get demotion.

I think I see a cunning plan forming, unless everyone's is stuck with supporting this racing lark!

I agree completely with your analysis and, unfortunately, in the despair as well.

From their proposals, it is obvious that they believe that actual racing is but a small part of the reason that (presumably caual) fans watch. The changes they recommend will, if enacted, moveF1 one step closer to having all the relevance of wrestling and all the class of the Kardashians!

I think that Chad Stearthill may be correct that the only way to correct this sorry state of affairs is for Bernie to do time behind bars. Maybe then the teams will collectively "grow a pair" and demand the changes that REALLY need to be made.
Bringing back sparks? Oh dear. Do they think we're that easily distrac......ooooo look a shiny thing!

On a serious note though I find it very odd that they are focusing on this kind of artificial stuff when the aera that would be sensible to focus on in order to make this SPORT more of a spectacul, the venues, all seem to be morphing into the same one dimensional corporate snooze zone.

When they brought in Singapore as a night race I thought that was a great idea as it gave it a real unique attribute. Now we have 3 or 4 night races its just not special anymore. Monaco is the only truely unique venue anymore and I for one love to see cars going round there, even if overtaking is limited.

So stop focusing on the sport side, which left alone can be trusted to liven itself up, and have a look at giving them great places to race round.

How about bringing back an old fashion road race? 15 laps of a 13 mile circuit. Spice it up with a different challenge.

How about racing in actual cities? Wouldn't you love to see F1 cars blasting over Tower Bridge in London? Or round times square in New York?

If you wanna do something then look at that. Please don't artificially make the brake discs glow!
I saw a pit stop in the last race I think it was McLaren and the car didn't even look as if it had stopped it just seemed to slow down and drive straight through and yet all four tyres had been change I just can't see how a pitstop could get any quicker and any how there was more tension when the pitstops were longer and there was refueling involved I reckon...
Why don't they just attach a sparkler to each rear wing end plate and then for a shorter race they can say the race is over when the sparklers go out.
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1. If I saw sparks I would think that they would need to raise the ride height!!! Sparks do exist on circuits like Singapore because it is bumpy. Unless they are planning to give all the current circuits acne, the rulemakers shouldn't do anything.
2. Completely pointless. Imagine the scenario: The Mercedes are cruising to a 1-2, in a race with no action, but it's alright because they have light-up brakes. Ridiculous.
3. You get them when it's humid. You can't control the weather.
4. Stupidity. Whoever thinks that a likely chance of another safety car straight after it has gone in is a good ides needs to be shot.
5.It'll just be a walk in the park for the drivers then. Plus, if there is heavy rain, the whole race could feasibly be run under the safety car!!
6. What Brogan said.
All of their suggestions without exemption are inane and patronising! And as for making pitstops quicker, they have completely forgotten that they have only just gone to enormous lengths to slow pitstops down - introducing draconian penalties - because cars were launching errant wheels at photographers and other pit crews.

Shooting is too good for 'em! :bangfists:
  1. The return of sparks
  2. Glowing brake discs
  3. Vapour trails
  4. Standing starts after safety cars
  5. Reduced race length
  6. Faster pit stops.
I'm going to look at the pros and cons of all of these ideas:

1. Cons: Ride height too low with consequences. Burns?
Pros: Visually interesting.

2. Cons: Utterly, utterly pointless. Overheating?
Pros: Visually mildly interesting.

3. Cons: Would utterly destroy any kind of visibility for anyone, making any 2014 F1 race a Mercedes, followed by vapour, then a Red Bull, followed by vapour.
Pros: Aerodynamics visible?

4. Cons: Doesn't reward leader, series of races rather than one continuum.
Pros: Stop having 75 laps following SC waiting for lapped cars/rain to stop/shite knows during every caution.

5. Cons: Reduces strategic possibilities. Pisses on 64 years of history, and makes F1 just that little less special. Fuel saving and tyre wear even more meaningless. Association Football is quite successful with an equivalent length.
Pros: Pilot in China seemed not to affect much. People with short attention spells catered for.

6. Cons: May be physically impossible. Dangerous. Expenditure on robotic pit crews to rise.
Pros: Expenditure on robotic pit crews to rise.

I have to say 4 might well be the lesser of two evils.
I don't think the standing starts would reduce the number of laps behind the safety car.

I expect what will be proposed is instead of the leader restarting the race after the safety car comes into the pits, they will line up on the grid and effectively do another start.
If these ideas really truly come out of an official F1 "think tank" rather than some spotty 15 year old journalist's fantasy then the "thinkers" need to be shot. How come this crap is the type of story we read about F1 and not that fact (as Joe Saward pointed out today) that F1 cars are less than 1% slower this year but use about 33% less fuel.... I know that part of the F1 story is entertainment and capturing the immagaination of new fans but really these ideas are for scalextric races....
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