Martian Bumble's Paddock Walks

This is Martian Bumble reporting live from the F1 paddock.
As always I'm going to try my best to poke my nose into everyone's business, whether they like it or not.

There's lots to talk about today considering the recent shenanigans between Versuseveryone and Peniz.

Hey, there's Leak Stephensomeone who works for Bared Balls.
Let's see if we can get a few words from him.

So Leak, I heard a rumour that most people in the team think that Versuseveryone acted like a total **** last week. What makes them say that?

Well, it's fairly obvious, isn't it? He's really not very well liked, apart from by Horny, who apparently has had a silicone model of one his body parts made.

Hmm, well, that's disturbing ...

I know, right! It's worse than when he had Sebastian Vettel's finger made into a butt plug and insisted on wearing it every race weekend.
Oh, can that be off the record? Shit!

On the other hand Lee, Peniz just isn't very good so perhaps Versuseveryone was right in what he said, effectively accusing him of cheating.

Well he's not even good enough to cheat well apparently, so what does that tell you?

Right, thanks Lee for those insightful comments.

Oh look! There's Mitchell Masshole.

Mitchell! Can we have a quick word about the final race of last season and what exactly went on?
What do you mean we can't jump ahead of the three journalists in front? When did that become a rule?
"Hey! Stop ****ing shoving, you!"

*scuffle ensues*

Sorry about that everyone, these foreign journalists have no manners.
Anyway, let's see who else we can talk to ...

Look everyone it's David Eggsnham.
How is the US treating you? Are you still involved in football over there?

I dunno, let me check with Victorious.
Hey you, kid, have you seen a woman with dark hair and sunglasses?

Dad, she's standing right next to you, holding your hand.


Thanks David, moving on.


Well it looks like that's all we've got time for as the Prime Minister of Scotland, Nickerless Hardon, is about to sing the Scottish national anthem.

🎶 I've just come down
From the Isle of Skye
I'm not very big and I'm awful shy
And the laddies shout when I go by
Dearie, where's your troosers? 🎶
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