Thread's a nice idea
teabagyokel but possibly somewhat optimistic about our abilities to make a good go of the choices. Seeing as how my nom de plume is plastered all over the place I guess I have a responsibility to give it a proper go. Whilst, I cannot leave humour to one side I will endeavour to justify my exclusions.
1. Max Chilton - anyone who has such a pitiful record in lower formulae and feeder classes should not be in F1 - at the very least not yet.
2. Romain Grosjean - Not having the fastest car available to ensure that he consistently gets onto the front row means that he will not make my team. His improved form is temporary since his lack of spatial awareness is an intractable problem that will seriously harm my budget the minute he is in a heavy traffic situation.
3/4. Paul Di Resta - thinks he is the bees knees and will complain about the car without giving my engineers a clue about what is actually happening when he is in it. Sergio Perez - has calmed down his aggression but now he is painfully slow. A crap pairing if ever there was one.
5. Sakon Yamamoto - anyone who has such a pitifully worse record than Max Chilton in lower formulae and feeder classes should not be in F1 .
6. Pastor Maldonado - We can't afford a crash magnet. Sure he has calmed it down a bit but that propensity to succumb to the red mist is merely dormant. He is a missile waiting to be launched and like Perez if he isn't armed and locked on target he is too slow.
That leaves me with 'Nando on his own in a one car team or JEV and Flippy. 'Nando says he can brig me 6 tenths and as I'm running Sauber (did I mention that?) perhaps that's the way to go. Sakon can hang out in the garage so long as he doesn't touch anything - especially the car. Meanwhile I'll trade in car two for scrap to a disgruntled engineer from Ferrari who has promised to sneak some year old spare parts for 'Nando's bucket of poo. Then, if the TBY threatens take us to the
teabagyokel IT and throw us out of the championship, I'll accept JEV and Flippy on the condition that I don't have to part with $50m but will accept nil WCC points and won't let either of my pilots win the WDC (safe bet that one).
Rootersport Breaking News: Fenderman-Sauber F1 Team under investigation for breaking entry rules 
