Ode to Mark Webber

[Mephistopheles]

Oh Mark, Mark, Mark what are we to think of you, are you just a really poor F1 driver or is Seb just so brilliant? How can we tell?:

It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word.

Goodbye mate....

 

[teabagyokel]

And it seems to me his engine blew, throwing smoke into the wind.
Never knowing when to hitchhike, before the rules set in.
And he thought he'd beat his team-mate, just a stupid kid.
His chances stuffed out long before the races ever did.

Goodbye Aussie Grit...

 

[Mephistopheles]

Brilliant.... Although I'd change "Stuffed " to "Snuffed."..

 

[RasputinLives]

Its a little bit funny,
how you get off the line.
You tell your race engineer
your start procedure went fine
you start off in 2nd
slip down to 5th
crash into the barriers
and then scrounge a lift.

And you can tell everybody it was your clutch
call all other drivers dangerous a little too much.
And I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
that I'll cheer when your gone
And how better F1 will be when your in Le Mans.

See ya later ya flamin gala!

 

[Fenderman]

"Yesterday"

Yesterday, Vettel didn't seem so far away,
Now it looks as though he's there to stay,
Oh I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a blighter always beating me,
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.

How he goes so fast I don't know he wouldn't say,
I do something wrong, now I long for yesterday.

Yesterday, multi 21 was an easy game to play,
Now I need Le Mans to hide away,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Why I have to leave efF one I couldn't say,
If I had it it's now gone, now I long for yesterday.

Yesterday, efF one was an easy game to play,
Now I need Le Mans to hide away,
Oh, I believe in yesterday,
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mminardi ...

 

[RasputinLives]

Australian guy sitting in his car singing multi 21
helmet on at the front of the grid he thinks his chance has come.
Is he ready? is he ready for this? his foots on pedal ready to short shift.
The lights go out, the car bogs down and he's already down in 5th!

HEeeyheyyyyaaa

(all together now)

bum bum bum

Another one bites the dust.....

 

[Fenderman]

Two little blokes had two little toys
Each had a racing car,
Gaily they played ev'ry other Sunday
Warriors both of course
One little chap then had a mishap
Broke off his Ferrari's nose .......................... [this is a fictional bit, incidentally]
Wept for his toy then cried with joy
As his young playmate said

Did you think I would leave you crying
When there's room on my car for two
Climb up here 'Nando and don't be crying.............[still fictional, a bit, incidentally]
I can go just as fast with two
When we grow up we'll both do Le Mans
And our cars will not be toys
And I wonder if we'll remember
When we were two little chaps

Long years had passed, Seb was too fast.......................[not fictional bits now, incidentally]
Bravely they drove away
Fanboys booed loud, and in the mad crowd
Wounded a Red Bull lay
Up goes a shout, as Mark dashes out
Out from the ranks so red
'Nando stops to where Mark flayed
Then came a voice he knew

Did you think I would leave you moping
When there's room on my car for two
Climb up here Mark, we'll soon be flying
I can go just as fast with two
Did you say Mark I'm all a-terrible
Perhaps it's the Vettel's finger
But I think it's that I remember
When we were two little blokes

 

[Mephistopheles]

And away we go with the Rolph Harris jokes....

 

[teabagyokel]

Tom Jones was in Singapore, no?

I saw the light in the night as I looked out the window
I heard the sounds of F1 in the streets out the door
Seb was going quickly
As he went past I wondered where the others were

Why, why, why, d'you bother?
Why, why, why, d'you bother?
I can see that Mark was no good for me
But he thought he could stop Seb's winning spree.

At the end of the race, Alonso was waiting
At the end of the race came reprimand three
He blamed the stewards
He'd decided he would be in F1 no more.

Why, why, why, Mark Webber?
Why, why, why, Mark Webber?
Not before, Seb turned it into a bore
Webber ran off, could Ricciardo do any more?

 

[teabagyokel]

Bridge Over Troubled Water by Nando and Markfunkel.

When you're weary,
Feeling small.
When sick was in your hat,
He crashed into you.

He's on your side,
Funnily enough.
And friends just can't be found,
At Red Bull while there's Christian Horner,
You go to Le Mans,
At Red Bull while there's Christian Horner,
You go to Le Mans,

When you're down and out,
When you're on the street,
When evening falls so hard,
I will pick you up.

I'll take you back,
When darkness comes.
The engine's just gone boom,
I don't care if it gets us in hot water,
I will take you back
I don't care if it gets us in hot water,
I will take you back

Sail on Fernando,
Sail on by,
When Seb is there to beat,
You'll be there in his way.

Then watch him whine,
Do it for me my friend,
With Vettel right behind,
Keep him where you really ought-a
That'll ease my mind
Keep him where you really ought-a
That'll ease my mind