As we have a place for past teams now I thought I'd open the forum by doing a thread on who I consider to be the worst F1 team ever!
Andrea Sassetti bought the old Coloni team, did a deal with Simtek for the unused 1990 Brabham Chassie and set about starting a bright future for his new Andra Moda Formula One team with drivers Alex Caffi and Enrico Bertaggia at the helm for the 1992 season
They turn up in South Africa the first race and oh dear the cars aren't built yet. Oh well use the old ones!
"ermmmm Mr Sassetti you owe us $100,000 for entering a new team."
"We're not a new team argues we just have new cars, new engines, new owners, new colours and a new name thats all!"
"Yeah whatever your excluded."
"Crumbs!"
Oh well not a great start but lets get it going at the second race of the year in Mexico.
"Psssst Mr Sassetti the cars still aren't finished yet."
"Bugger."
Off to San Marino for the start of the European Season and Sassetti says its a fresh start and brings in 2 new drivers; Roberto Moreno and Perry McCarthy.
"ermmm Mr Sassetti Perry McCarthy has no experience and we're refusing him a super licence."
"But he's the stig!"
"yes but he's also shite."
"Oh well at least Moreno will race."
"ermmmm Mr Sassetti he failed to qualify."
"Blast!"
This continued to be the theme until - Moreno qualified 26th for the Monaco Grand Prix! Hurrah - take that Eric Van De Poole! you is 0.0036 seconds slower than us! loser! Lets hope for a good race! bang! boom! pop! whoops thats Moreno out after a few laps.
Oh well at least its progress lets go to Canada. Are we all set?
"ermmm Mr Sassetti we don't have any engines."
"Why not? I did a deal with Judd!"
"ermmm....yes but you seem to have forgotten to pay them!"
"Are you sure? I'm sure I set a Direct Debit up. Oh well I'll sort it and we'll storm the French Grand Prix next race"
So to the French Grand Prix and Mr Sassetti is walking down the pitlane asking if anyone has seen his team.
"Ermmmm Mr Sassetti you know you employed French Lorry drivers?"
"yes?" "
Well they're striking and ermmmm there using the lorries with your cars in for the blockade."
"Merde!"
They did managed to get to the next 3 Grand Prixs but then whilst hanging in the paddock in Belgium pretending he understood what Ron Dennis was going on about Mr Sassetti had some visitors.
"Mr Sassetti? We'd like to talk to you about some of these invoices you've issued."
"What about them?"
"We suspect they might be forged."
"Why?"
"They've been done in pink crayon!"
"Dam it!"
After that little mishap the team packed up there stuff and headed to Monza.
"Hello Mr Monza security man we're the Andrea Moda Formula One Team!"
"Who?"
"Andrea Moda! Italys 3rd best F1 team"
"Never heard of you"
"can you check the list"
"you're not on it"
"oh come on its spelt A N D..."
"look if ya names not on the list you're not coming in but we do have a letter for a Mr Sassetti"
"thats me"
Mr Sassetti opened the letter which read
'Dear Mr Sassetti and the Andrea Moda team. Firstly can we say how much joy and laughter you've brought to the F1 paddock this season. Half of our members are still laughing at the idea of Perry McCarthy in an F1 car. Unfourtunatly you're making us look bad so can you kindly just clear off please? Kind Regards Max.
and that was the end of Andrea Moda. Got any Moda memories? Maybe you think theres been a worse F1 team?
Andrea Sassetti bought the old Coloni team, did a deal with Simtek for the unused 1990 Brabham Chassie and set about starting a bright future for his new Andra Moda Formula One team with drivers Alex Caffi and Enrico Bertaggia at the helm for the 1992 season
They turn up in South Africa the first race and oh dear the cars aren't built yet. Oh well use the old ones!
"ermmmm Mr Sassetti you owe us $100,000 for entering a new team."
"We're not a new team argues we just have new cars, new engines, new owners, new colours and a new name thats all!"
"Yeah whatever your excluded."
"Crumbs!"
Oh well not a great start but lets get it going at the second race of the year in Mexico.
"Psssst Mr Sassetti the cars still aren't finished yet."
"Bugger."
Off to San Marino for the start of the European Season and Sassetti says its a fresh start and brings in 2 new drivers; Roberto Moreno and Perry McCarthy.
"ermmm Mr Sassetti Perry McCarthy has no experience and we're refusing him a super licence."
"But he's the stig!"
"yes but he's also shite."
"Oh well at least Moreno will race."
"ermmmm Mr Sassetti he failed to qualify."
"Blast!"
This continued to be the theme until - Moreno qualified 26th for the Monaco Grand Prix! Hurrah - take that Eric Van De Poole! you is 0.0036 seconds slower than us! loser! Lets hope for a good race! bang! boom! pop! whoops thats Moreno out after a few laps.
Oh well at least its progress lets go to Canada. Are we all set?
"ermmm Mr Sassetti we don't have any engines."
"Why not? I did a deal with Judd!"
"ermmm....yes but you seem to have forgotten to pay them!"
"Are you sure? I'm sure I set a Direct Debit up. Oh well I'll sort it and we'll storm the French Grand Prix next race"
So to the French Grand Prix and Mr Sassetti is walking down the pitlane asking if anyone has seen his team.
"Ermmmm Mr Sassetti you know you employed French Lorry drivers?"
"yes?" "
Well they're striking and ermmmm there using the lorries with your cars in for the blockade."
"Merde!"
They did managed to get to the next 3 Grand Prixs but then whilst hanging in the paddock in Belgium pretending he understood what Ron Dennis was going on about Mr Sassetti had some visitors.
"Mr Sassetti? We'd like to talk to you about some of these invoices you've issued."
"What about them?"
"We suspect they might be forged."
"Why?"
"They've been done in pink crayon!"
"Dam it!"
After that little mishap the team packed up there stuff and headed to Monza.
"Hello Mr Monza security man we're the Andrea Moda Formula One Team!"
"Who?"
"Andrea Moda! Italys 3rd best F1 team"
"Never heard of you"
"can you check the list"
"you're not on it"
"oh come on its spelt A N D..."
"look if ya names not on the list you're not coming in but we do have a letter for a Mr Sassetti"
"thats me"
Mr Sassetti opened the letter which read
'Dear Mr Sassetti and the Andrea Moda team. Firstly can we say how much joy and laughter you've brought to the F1 paddock this season. Half of our members are still laughing at the idea of Perry McCarthy in an F1 car. Unfourtunatly you're making us look bad so can you kindly just clear off please? Kind Regards Max.
and that was the end of Andrea Moda. Got any Moda memories? Maybe you think theres been a worse F1 team?
