2017 Predictions

[Greenlantern101]

It's time to consult the star maps and gaze into your crystal ball for the annual predictions for the upcoming year.

So here are mine.

1. Mercedes will be constructors champions again.
2. Redbull will be much more competitive and give the Mercs a hard time.
3. Ferrari will still be 3rd best and Seb will keep being an angry potty mouth.
4. Lance Stroll will be consistently better than Massa after the summer break.
5. Liberty Media will try and implement some big changes.
6. Bottas will be a big challenge for Lewis and things will get nasty pretty quick.
7. Lewis will be World champion.
8. Williams will get back on the podium.
9. Perez will Replace Massa at the end of the year.
10. With the end of engine tokens the Hondas will work there way on to the podium on at least 1 occasion.
11. Bottas gets his first win at the first race.
12. I'll still be too scared to cancel sky and use interweb tv.
13. Bernie will hang around like a bad smell all year.
14. Kimi will finish the year with more points than Seb.
15. Overtaking will be down on 2016 thanks to the new regs.
16. Lap records will drop like flies.
17. Dan and Max will fall out.
18. Someone will be caught cheating in a 'cheatgate' of sorts.
19. Jenson will get a job as a pundit.
20. Alonso won't retire.

 

[teabagyokel]

Here is the Oracle of The Yokel's 2017 bash.

1. Sebastian Vettel will blame "fucking blue flags" for something
2. Williams will be shit in Monaco
3. Christian Horner will mention that you can't expect anything from Red Bull at Monza
4. Red Bull do OK at Monza, Christian Horner feigns surprise
5. No-one will crash at the narrow bit in Baku
6. No-one will crash in the pit-lane tunnel in Abu Dhabi
7. Massa will re-retire
8. There will be no increase in overtaking caused by the new regulations
9. Whatever the quality of the racing, Pirelli will be blamed for too much or too little overtaking
10. Force India will score loads of points at Spa
11. Any time Bottas beats Hamilton, it will be pointed out at long and tedious detail that Bottas is/was managed by Toto Wolff - it may even be mentioned that the "swapped mechanics" remain swapped
12. Both Stoffel Vandoorne and Esteban Ocon increasingly impress as the season wears on
13. Stroll will beat Massa in the Drivers' Championship
14. Ferrari will give Raikkonen another sodding one-year extension
15. KMag vs RoGro will be a very tight team-mate battle
16. Hulk will beat Jolyon Palmer with absolute ease
17. Checo Perez will manage to invade the podium again
18. Mercedes will make a new signing for 2018
19. Verstappen won't finish at Monaco...
20. ... while Ricciardo wins it!
21. McLaren will be back in the Top Four in the Constructors' Championship
22. Alonso will score a podium in a chaotic race
23. Red Bull Racing will win the Constructors' Championship
24. Ricciardo and Verstappen will fall out massively
25. ... and Ricciardo will win his one and only Drivers' Title.

 

[Titch]

1. Rosberg won't win the championship a second time.
2. Button will appear on a commentating team.
3. Max Verstappen will crash with Lance Stroll, there will be fisticuffs.
4. Manor will go bust.
5. Bernie Ecclestone will not retire.
6. Liberty media will withdraw from F1.
7. Ron Dennis will sue McLaren.
8. Bottas will still be dull
9. Alonso will drive at Le Man 24 and to hell with McLaren.
10. The USA GP will be cancelled.

 

[The Pits]

I predict that every prediction I make will be wrong.

 

[cider_and_toast]

Let's see what I can get wrong this time:

1) Ricciardo will win the drivers title.
2) Mercedes will win the constructors title
3) The relationship between Bottas and Hamilton and between Ricciardo and Verstappen will be extremely difficult.
4) Perez will come close to winning a race but will finish second
5) Palmer will still be awful and will be looking for a new job next year.
6) Stroll will perform above everyone's expectations but still be saddled with the 'rich kid' tag.
7) Bernie will keep on keeping on.
8) Liberty will continue to make outrageous suggestions on how to improve the show, much to the delight of Bernie.
9) Jean Todt will deny F1 exists, that he is the boss of F1 or that he's even heard of any FIA involvement in this 'so called' F1 thing.
10) All teams will score points this season. All teams will make it through the year.
11) McLaren will finally finish a race in the top three. Fernando will publicly thank Ron Dennis.
12) New and inexplicable excuses will be found for certain drivers not performing to expectations (by fans or teams).
13) Kimi will once again get on with the job but be much maligned.
14) Seb will have another difficult season for Ferrari and will swap seats with Hamilton for next year.

 

[F1Brits_90]

• Raikkonen wont retire like we all assumed in 2015 & 2016. will break his 64 gp ferrari drought win a race

• Williams will massively underperform & come 8th/9th in constructors

• Mercedes domination is over we will have at least 2 teams going for victories

• But Lewis Hamilton will win title in close fight with Riccardio

• Sauber will fold & finally a sustainable budget cap thats been needed for 5yrs will be brought in

• Kyvat wont finish the season & Gasly drafted in

• Sainz final season at Toro Rosso as like Max Verstappen he will want either want a move to senior team or move another team

• Austria pole lap will be 63 seconds & be 1 of shortest pole laps in history

• Manor will continue to progress albeit with 2 new drivers & beat sauber

• Someone will create a massive upset compared to 2016 season rocket up pecking order like Brawn & Red Bull did in 09, Mercedes & Williams in 2014

• Vettel its make or break for him & ferrari as i cant see relationship staying together if they both dont improve on poor 2016

• Lance Stroll will do alright after acclimatisation will start to outperfom massa after spain/Monaco

• Vandoorne will push Alonso seriously hard

• F1 drivers will be contesting Le mans 24 hours this yr

• 2016 will be same top 3 in 2017 in no particular order though

• Rio Haryanto to get sick of people saying "didnt you used to race in F1" while working at his dads stationery business

• Im going for home wins galore

Ferrari to win at monza
Riccardio to win in Australia
Red Bull to win in Austria
Stroll to win in Canada
Honda to win in Japan
Sainz jr to win in Spain
Vandoorne to win in Spa
Haas to win at COTA
Lewis to win at Silverstone
Kyvat to win in Russia
Perez to win in Mexico

• Palmer to take out Hulkenburg & in the frustration he turns green rips off his racesuit & KOs Palmer with punch Anthony Joshua would be proud of

 

[FB]

Okay, let's have a go at this.

- Hamilton WDC
- Red Bull WCC
- The battle between Max and Danny will allow Hamilton through to take the title
- Lance Stroll will hand Massa his ass on a plate
- Massa will retire before the end of the season to be replaced by a "lovely boy"
- Vettel and Hamilton will swap seats at the end of the season
- Hamilton will claim this is "to honour the ghost of Ayrton Senna who would have driven for Ferrari if he hadn't died"
- Vettel will win the title in 2018
- Bottas will win one race
- Vettel and Raikkonen will win a couple of races each
- Force India will move backwards
- Toro Rosso, with Carlos Sainz, will win one race
- Kvyat won't make it to the end of the season
- Sauber won't (can't) be as bad as they were in 2016
- By the end of the season Vandoorne will be regularly beating Alonso
- Haas won't score as many points as they did in 2016 even though Mariachi has gone
- F1 in Ultra HD won't make it any more exciting although I will be able to see the black heads on Martin Brundle's nose
- Jenson Button will be a regular on the Sky TV coverage in the first part of the season just to prove how lovely he is
- I will bitch and moan about many things but mainly the night race at Singapore (yes, again) and the stupid pit exit in Abu Dhabi
- I will upset someone on CTA with my innate lack of tact, such as requesting that Paul di Resta should come with subtitles

That's it, run out now.

 

[teabagyokel]

requesting that Paul di Resta should come with subtitles

"I beat Vettel in Formula Three EuroSeries, you know."

 

[FB]

I bet I could beat Vettel to the biscuit tin as my motivation would be higher!

 

[Road of Bones]

Ok, I'll throw my head adornment into the arena of competition...

1) Max & Danny will implode, while Horner "Yeah, No's" his way through grindingly repetitive Sky interviews trying to put a gloss on the latest coming-together or spat between his drivers. Verstappen's Adam's apple will continue to extend beyond his chin. Ricciardo will miss a race due to poisoning himself after a "shoey".
2) Stoffel Vandoorne will astonish everyone by winning the opening race, and Alonso will retreat into sulk mode for the rest of the year, while muttering about how much lovelier his previous team-mate was. McLaren will suddenly become everyone's favourite "team we sneakily support without admitting it".
3) Hamilton will follow Paddy Lowe to Williams in 2018, and grow a huge ugly moustache in honour of a certain British Driver, in an effort to make himself popular again by bringing everyone's former favourite "team we sneakily support without admitting it" back to race-winning respectability.
4) Jolyon Palmer and Nico Hulkenberg will become surprisingly good mates, and their obvious pleasure in one-another's company will be one of the more heartwarming stories of the season. The car will be faster, but still shit however, and certain podium finishes will be denied to both men by appalling reliability
5) Sebastian Vettel will be diagnosed with Tourette's syndrome, after randomly shouting "F****** C***womble" during a live press conference. He will be permitted to continue racing, but only under the condition that he wears one of those orange rubber ball strap things as seen in "Pulp Fiction" whenever there is a microphone around. Simon Lazenby will be sanctioned for forgetting to apologise when Niki Lauda says "bullshit" yet again.
6) Claire Williams will make Lance Stroll's sandwiches all year, remembering to cut off the crusts. There will be an incident at some point, when she forgets the Penguin biscuit, and tries to sneak in a small apple as a substitute. He will be sent to his room to think about what he's done.
7) Carlos Sainz's eyebrow will get it's own seat at Torro Rosso, displacing Daniil Kvyat
8) Checo Perez will ignore any question about whether he was a bit hasty re-signing for Force India
9) The Haas team will finish races but be disqualified every time due to being underweight as a result of all the parts falling off during the course of the race. RoGro & KMag will go on strike
10) I can't think of anything amusing to say about Sauber
11) Everyone's favourite "Yorkshire team we wish could do a bit better, if only they hired a driver with a personality, and some people who could design a car" will do neither of these things, sadly. Geoffrey Boycott will be heard to mutter that his nan could drive better with a stick of rhubarb .
12) Mercedes will disappear up either Toto or Niki's bottom, with any luck.

 

[Greenlantern101]

 

[lokiqc]

No matter how Lance Stroll fares, Jacques Villeneuve will comment and say that he was a much better driver and that back in the days you had to know how to drive and nowadays pilots just have it too easy

 

[Olivier]

I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life

 

[teabagyokel]

We don't all live in Canada.

 

[cider_and_toast]

So, We are at the mid season break so it's high time I reviewed my complete failure to predict anything correctly this season.

1) Ricciardo will win the drivers title. No Chance. This years RBR still isn't up to speed.

2) Mercedes will win the constructors title Still on for this. It's either Merc or Ferrari.

3) The relationship between Bottas and Hamilton and between Ricciardo and Verstappen will be extremely difficult. Moments have been had but they've moved on and Hamilton gave that place back in Hungary so no issues there.

4) Perez will come close to winning a race but will finish second No sign of this happening

5) Palmer will still be awful and will be looking for a new job next year. Without a doubt

6) Stroll will perform above everyone's expectations but still be saddled with the 'rich kid' tag. He's doing ok but the form of the Williams is not helping

7) Bernie will keep on keeping on. Yes he will but not in F1 anymore.

8) Liberty will continue to make outrageous suggestions on how to improve the show, much to the delight of Bernie. So far they've not really done anything outrageous. Seems to be going ok under their leadership so far.

9) Jean Todt will deny F1 exists, that he is the boss of F1 or that he's even heard of any FIA involvement in this 'so called' F1 thing. Jean who?

10) All teams will score points this season. All teams will make it through the year. So far they have and so far they will

11) McLaren will finally finish a race in the top three. Fernando will publicly thank Ron Dennis. No and No.

12) New and inexplicable excuses will be found for certain drivers not performing to expectations (by fans or teams). We've not really had any yet but 'the real fans' comment did set CTA alight for a while.

13) Kimi will once again get on with the job but be much maligned. He is and he is.

14) Seb will have another difficult season for Ferrari and will swap seats with Hamilton for next year. It's going ok and he's going nowhere next year.

Well there you go. Possibly my poorest set of predictions ever. There's almost no hope of the bulk of those coming true by the end of the season. At least I had Palmer being rubbish as my banker.

 

[teabagyokel]

OK, my turn:

1. Sebastian Vettel will blame "****ing blue flags" for something I'm sure he has
2. Williams will be shit in Monaco Aha
3. Christian Horner will mention that you can't expect anything from Red Bull at Monza I still believe...
4. Red Bull do OK at Monza, Christian Horner feigns surprise Let's see
5. No-one will crash at the narrow bit in Baku I think Perez did in practice
6. No-one will crash in the pit-lane tunnel in Abu Dhabi Surely...
7. Massa will re-retire TBA
8. There will be no increase in overtaking caused by the new regulations Too right!
9. Whatever the quality of the racing, Pirelli will be blamed for too much or too little overtaking I'm sure they were...
10. Force India will score loads of points at Spa I think this one is still good
11. Any time Bottas beats Hamilton, it will be pointed out at long and tedious detail that Bottas is/was managed by Toto Wolff - it may even be mentioned that the "swapped mechanics" remain swapped Not heard this shite yet.
12. Both Stoffel Vandoorne and Esteban Ocon increasingly impress as the season wears on Hard to deny they're getting better
13. Stroll will beat Massa in the Drivers' Championship It's close-ish. Vive Bakou!
14. Ferrari will give Raikkonen another sodding one-year extension The rumour mill is out there
15. KMag vs RoGro will be a very tight team-mate battle It is nip and tuck.
16. Hulk will beat Jolyon Palmer with absolute ease Yep! In fact easier than we thought!
17. Checo Perez will manage to invade the podium again I suspect he had his chance in Baku.
18. Mercedes will make a new signing for 2018 Not as yet!
19. Verstappen won't finish at Monaco... It is just about the only race he has finished
20. ... while Ricciardo wins it! Nope, wrong street circuit
21. McLaren will be back in the Top Four in the Constructors' Championship Sorry, was I on halluciogenic drugs when I wrote this? Super-wrong!
22. Alonso will score a podium in a chaotic race Technically, could still happen.
23. Red Bull Racing will win the Constructors' Championship Wrong!
24. Ricciardo and Verstappen will fall out massively Sore loser for partial credit
25. ... and Ricciardo will win his one and only Drivers' Title. Poor Danny Ric!

 

[RasputinLives]

Did I not make any this year? I'm usually the wrongest of the wrong so it's a good thing!

 

[teabagyokel]

With patience, it would likely be possible to cobble one together for you from postings across the forum. There was something about Paul di Resta, if I recall correctly.

 

[Titch]

My predictions are looking pretty poor, if I'm honest . I can't see any way to spin them into something great.

 

[cider_and_toast]

Time for the end of season prediction review:

1) Ricciardo will win the drivers title. Not even close.

2) Mercedes will win the constructors title. Yes.

3) The relationship between Bottas and Hamilton and between Ricciardo and Verstappen will be extremely difficult. Hamilton and Bottas turned out to be a love in but Max and Danny got pretty fruity at times.

4) Perez will come close to winning a race but will finish second Great car but not great enough.

5) Palmer will still be awful and will be looking for a new job next year. Bye Bye Junior. I'd rather watch your dad wrestle a Zakspeed.

6) Stroll will perform above everyone's expectations but still be saddled with the 'rich kid' tag. Not too bad. Could have been better but oh yes, the rich kid tag follows him like a bad smell. He is good enough to be on the grid.

7) Bernie will keep on keeping on. Just about. Mainly through talking bollocks in the press.

8) Liberty will continue to make outrageous suggestions on how to improve the show, much to the delight of Bernie. Liberty??? Oh yeah, I remember them. They bought out Bernie and since then have done precisely fuck all.

9) Jean Todt will deny F1 exists, that he is the boss of F1 or that he's even heard of any FIA involvement in this 'so called' F1 thing. Jean who? Seriously, is he dead and that fact is being covered up by the FIA for tax purposes? At least Max and JMB did stuff. We may not have liked anything they did but they at least tried.

10) All teams will score points this season. All teams will make it through the year. Yes.

11) McLaren will finally finish a race in the top three. Fernando will publicly thank Ron Dennis. When normalised (top 6 finishes) this was McLaren's poorest season ever. I can't stand the bloke but even I think Alonso deserves better. How bad is that?

12) New and inexplicable excuses will be found for certain drivers not performing to expectations (by fans or teams). Not sure where I was going with this so no.

13) Kimi will once again get on with the job but be much maligned. He did ok. In his favour no one can come up with an alternative.

14) Seb will have another difficult season for Ferrari and will swap seats with Hamilton for next year. Seb had a poor season and now knows what Alonso found out, just because you drive for Ferrari you don't have a divine right to win. As for a seat swap. Wrong on that one.

So I was pretty much wrong, wrong and wronger. Ah well, there's always next season.