Write your championship scenario

[jez101]

It's wet. It has been raining for the last half hour and is getting progressively worse. When the tyre blankets come off, we can see that most of the grid are on full wets, but Lotus has decided to go with the Inter. Kimi starting 6th and Romain in 10th are on different tyres to the pack. Even on the warm up lap you can see this was the right decision....

Vettel is on pole with Alonso right alongside (just how Bernie planned it). Massa is third in front of his home fans, Hamilton is 4th ahead of Perez. The lights go out and straight away the Lotuses are fast. Kimi is third after the esses but everyone is watching Vettel. He is on the grass after a poor getaway and after being tagged by Alonso. Massa leads with Lewis in second, Kimi third, Perez up to fourth followed by Alonso as they approach turn three.

Vettel made it back onto the track just ahead of Webber and that gave Grosjean the opportunity he needed into Turn 3. Romain dives up the inside sensing his chance....

It wasn't Mark's fault, he was defending from Grosjean but he left the young Swiss no margin for error and that error caused Red Bull number 2 to hit Red Bull number 1, breaking the rear suspension. Maldonado was also involved but he somehow escapes damage. Vettel, Webber and Grosjean are all out. So is Schumacher who had nowhere to go after he too had a great start. So too is the safety car.

As the pack forms, it becomes clear that the main winners were of course Alonso and from father back the Toro Rossos. Hulkenberg picked up a puncture from the debris while di Resta had to take evasive action and is now behind Kovaleinen.

As they clear up the mess, the rain starts easing. Everyone except Kimi is on full wets but there is more rain on the radar. Mercedes take the gamble and put Rosberg on inters as do Button and di Resta, the others stay on wets.

After 5 laps the safety car comes in. Alonso gets past Perez as the rain starts to fall harder again and they are both quickly past Raikkonen. di Resta stops again for full wets, then a lap later so does Jenson. Kimi hangs in there losing places to the Toro Rossos before eventually pitting on lap 13 for wets. He is behind Button but much quicker.

The Ferrari of Massa is in another class as he builds the gap to Lewis who now has Fernando sitting behind him in the third place he needs. Perez though is right behind and everyone's wet tyres are starting to fade.

On lap 25 Perez stops and they put a new set inters on and he immediately goes purple in sector three causing Hamilton and Alonso to do the same on lap 27. Perez though has made up the two places and now sits second. Massa keeps going though and by lap 30 it's raining hard so he pits and puts on full wets again. Alonso and Perez do the same with the Ferrari coming out ahead. Lewis keeps going as McLaren tell him it will just be a shower.

It isn't. The rain gets harder and by lap 32 Massa is past Lewis and back in the lead. Lewis finally pits and comes out 20 seconds behind Perez who is third, Alonso second. Behind Hamilton is Kobayshi followed by Senna, Vergne, Ricciardo and Maldonado. Rosberg stopped on lap 27 and Button's gearbox died on lap 35.

With Alonso where he needs to be and Massa 20 seconds ahead, Ferrari decide to allow Felipe the win. Perez is still right behind Alonso and he is again the first to pit for inters on lap 56 and once more undercuts Alonso into second place. Fernando is happy though. As the race draws to a close he is 10s up on Lewis in third and all he needs to do is finish to be WDC.

The race finishes. Alonso is third with Vettel out, he is WDC. There is to be no last minute drama. Massa takes the win with Perez second. The rest of the top ten finishes Hamilton, Kobi, Senna, Vergne, Ricciardo, Maldonado in 9th. Kimi makes it back to 10th after stopping for tyres 6 times and overtaking 27 cars in an eventful race.

Meanwhile HansyRod and I celebrate overturning WAR in the FF1 teams championship and jez101 is especially happy leapfrogging Brogan , sushifiesta and Josephiah to finish second in the league after scoring a mammoth 1,173 points. Albies Dog wins the league by a whopping 541 points and takes the cup victory from mjo.

Galahad rolls his eyes

 

[sushifiesta]

How about this one: It's a wet race and Vettel crashes out early on. The Ferraris show the strong wet pace that they had at the start of the year and are 1-2. After 45 laps conditions worsen and on lap 50 a massive thunder storm starts, forcing the race to be stopped. Conditions don't improve in time for the race to be restarted and as 75% race distance hasn't been completed half points are awarded. Alonso misses out on the championship by half a point.

 

[Jen]

Alonso wins, Vettel isn't in the top ten (for some reason or other!). Hamilton is second and Button limps into third place, Kimi is fourth, closely followed by Massa, then Webber.

 

[RasputinLives]

Vettel gets pole by a full half second and Alonso is 4th.

On the start Vettel dissapears into the distance and Alonso is held up by a fast starting Grosjean who is given a stop go penalty for 'making the championship less exciting". Alonso eventually gets up to second and closes Vettel down to a two second gap. Vettel shows him his finger and despite being stuck in 5th gear sets the three fastest laps of the race at the end and takes the title. He celebrates by doing doughnuts and everyone argues that they weren't as good as Hamiltons doughnuts as Vettels only does them from the front and its clearly the car doing the doughnuts and not him.

 

[mnmracer]

He celebrates by doing doughnuts and everyone argues that they weren't as good as Hamiltons doughnuts as Vettels only does them from the front and its clearly the car doing the doughnuts and not him.

 

[Olivier]

jez101, did you read my mind? my scenario looks very much like yours, it is called "Anticlimactic". It goes like this:

Hamilton takes pole with Alonso 2nd, Massa 3rd, Button 4th and Vettel 5th. If the race finishes like that Vettel would be champion. Alonso assumes the lead at the start to further enhance his chances. Vettel fights his way up to 3rd while an early failure for Hamilton puts him out of the running. With Vettel in 3rd and Massa in 2nd, Alonso's teammate does well to keep Vettel behind him and prevent him from challenging the Spaniard. Vettel doesn't mind all that much since finishing 3rd will deliver the title anyway. It continues for a while until lap 44 when Vettel Red Bull's alternator fails. Alonso knows all he needs is to finish in the top 3. He backs off and surrender the lead to Massa, who is free to take his 1st win, becoming the season's 9th winner. Raikkonen is right behing Alonso and finally overtakes him. Things are starting to look a little dire for the Ferrari driver until the Finn's eletrics fail 3 laps later. Pérez also finds his way through before the end of the race securing his (and Sauber's) 4th podium of the year. Alonso finishes 3rd securing his 3rd WDC. Only 2 points separate Alonso and Vettel at the end and the German is furious, it was his championship to lose.

 

[ATL11]

I reckon that Vettel will rip off from Pole position. Martin Brundle will comentate whist the Magic Roundabout music plays in the background.

Then on the very last lap with Alonso 2nd 30 seconds back, Vettel come across back marker Heikki 'Eliseo Salazar' Kovalainen & reminesent of 30 years earlier (yes it's 30 years ago) Vettel will trip over the back marker in a Eliseo Salazar moment.

He'll quickly get out the car and preceed to girly slap Eliseo as Side Burning Alonso streaks past laughing at how grande his cojones are.

Meanwhile in the pits Christian Horner will have his middle finger poised over the play button for CD track 17 of Queens Greatest hits, only to be dissapointed as a delusional Luiz Antonio Massa comes screaming into the RBR pits screaming revenge over the nasty 2008 incident.

You can see I'm not hoping for much.............

 

[Brogan]

All of the drivers get enough reprimands during practice and qualifying to trigger an automatic race ban.

Except for Alonso who starts the race on his own.

But then on the last lap when he slows down to wave to the fans just before the finish line, he stalls the engine.

 

[teabagyokel]

He'd still win

 

[Jos the Boss]

Vettel and Alonso start 24th and 23rd due to fuel problems and the rest I shall think of tomorrow as my throat hurts too much for me to be creative!

 

[F1Yorkshire]

Vettel qualifies on pole, usual suspects line up behind him.

Race day comes and its torrential rain all day. Race starts and ends behind the safety car. Mass outrage ensues and the clip the apex servers implode. Brogan loses the rest of his hair.

 

[mjo]

What hair?

 

[Jen]

Alonso wins, Vettel isn't in the top ten (for some reason or other!). Hamilton is second and Button limps into third place, Kimi is fourth, closely followed by Massa, then Webber.

Now that may seem prosaic - but it is what will happen, believe me as I could have been a team principal

 

[Mephistopheles]

Vettel gets pole by three and half minutes but half way though the race when he is leading by ten hours he suffers a catastrophic gear box failure and is left with only reverse gear however this does not slow him down in fact he puts in the fastest lap of the race, but suddenly his engine blows up which means he can only manage lap times half a minute faster than Alonso's best, upon crossing the line he gives everyone the finger and does the crazy frog song, this annoys the stewards so much that they disqualify him for flipping the finger and bringing the sport into disrepute Horner tries to claim force majeure but it is rejected out of hand by the stewards because his voice was so boring they all fell asleep, giving the championship to Alonso, who finished in second place.....

 

[Brogan]

That was almost believable Mephistopheles, except for the slight issue of races being limited to two hours so Vettel wouldn't be able to be leading by ten hours

 

[Mephistopheles]

Okay Brogan so may have exaggerated ever so slightly....

 

[Fenderman]

Okie dokilie, here goes with mine ...

Brazil 2012

In a darkened back room in Paris, Max Mosley is busy repairing the strings of his Jean Todt marionette. Mysteriously damaged for most of the season, the puppet had failed to engineer the requisite number of Ferrari victories. Also missing from the equation had been any kind of meaningful Ferrari performance. Five years without the traditional back street swapping of IP, thanks to a slip up in the McLaren camp, has left Ferrari having to think for themselves. It's not been easy and if Fernando Alonso hadn't brought six 10ths with him when he joined them they would have been nowhere in such a tightly fought championship.

Mosley dusts off the EMP device that he bought on Ebay back in '07 and used only once in Brazil. That had been a success, causing the mysterious systems failure in Hamilton's car that ensured the WDC title for Ferrari driver Kimi Raikkonen. Max didn't really want to interfere but fuck it he's had enough of all the Red Bullocks. The only reason he kept out of it this long is because that dreaded team McLaren were happily cocking it up all by themselves. Anyhowsy, suitably armed and attired in an all black Ninja outfit, Max heads off to the private hangar at Orly airport. Soon he is in a seedy hotel room in downtown Sao Paulo. his minions have gone on ahead and are trackside, scoping out a suitable location for the deed that will, they hope change the course of the drivers championship and bring it home for the Reds.

Race day dawns, or at least it would if the grey mantle of storm clouds would lift and let some sunlight in. The rocket scientists in race control declare it a wet race. No kidding sunshine! It’s November and it’s in Brazil. Even CTA weatherman Jos the Boss had that one sussed. Duh. Mosley’s minions have reserved the spot from where he will carry out his dastardly deed. It’s going to be a matter of timing but he’s had it done before so how hard can it be this time?

It would have been different but rain and slow blokes really screw with qualifying so Hamilton has nailed pole by the merest smidgen with Webber second, Vettel in third, Button fourth, Massa fifth and Alonso in sixth. The race starts under the safety car with everyone on full wets as dictated in the regulations. The first third of the race is spent behind the SC until the track is as dry as a bone and the entire field are down to the bare canvas on their boots. Meanwhile, Max, cowering under a failing umbrella tries desperately to keep his EMP device dry.

A mad dash for the pits ensues as everyone boxes for slick boots. Utter chaos as unsafe releases occur all over the place and no-one has a clue WTF is going on until pit lane is clear and the track is again full. Vettel’s Red Bull has had a complete set up change, including new ratios and differential in under 30 seconds. They practised how to do that at tea-time on Wednesday. Who knew? Unfortunately for him all that effort was going to be of no avail.

It is now half race distance and Webber is in the lead with Hamilton second, Massa in third, Button fourth, Alonso fifth and Vettel in sixth. Alonso has been hounding Button for lap after lap until a backmarker baulks Button and Alonso does to him what Hamilton did to Vettel in Austin. Shortly thereafter Massa mysteriously stops on the escape road at turn one, makes a quick phone call and resumes just ahead of Vettel. Vettel passes him with ease because Massa’s tyres and brakes have gone cold. All Vettel has to do is finish just where he is and the championship is in his pocket even if Alonso wins.

Three quarter distance and Alonso storms past Hamilton and Webber in one move. Thanks to Webber being his usual obstinate self his sterling defense against Hamilton achieved nothing more than allowing Alonso to catch them up and knobble them both at once. Then to compound Webbers misery, Hamilton follows Alonso through and scares him into a spin.

So now we’re into the last few laps. The heavens have been well and truly open for ten minutes and the likes of Maldonado, Senna, Di Resta, Perez, Grosjean and other lesser mortals have spun out, often more than once, so the cream is as usual at the top. Max aims his EMP ray gun at Vettel’s RBR but misses by a fraction and takes out the chips in Kovaleinen’s Caterham. Stranded at the bottom of the hill leading up to the final turn he is struck by the two HRT’s whose drivers can’t see the yellow flags in the gloom and the race finishes under full course caution and the safety car. Vettel is champ after all.

Oh, hang on. No he isn’t. Rewind to the cloudburst. Vettel pits for full wets and is out of position for a whole lap because everyone else ahead of him are going to pit to get rid of the inters they too had switched to as rain clouds drop a light splash. The fierce stuff comes down. The Caterham/HRT collision occurs and nobody pits as the race is red flagged. Vettel is eleventh whether or not there is one lap count-back. Alonso is three times world drivers champion. Magic.

 

[mjo]

That is brilliant!!!

 

[Jos the Boss]

Vettel and Alonso start 24th and 23rd cus they tried to get away with too little fuel, Hamilton is on pole and as the lights go out, everyone on slicks, apart from the two HRTs who are clueless about everything, the heavens open with a deluge. De la Rosa leads from Kartikeyan by half a minute while Alonso and Vettel are battling it out for 16th. Hamilton is in third and catching the HRT pair but Massa outbrakes himself at Turn 1 and continues due to the lack of gravel. Fast forward a couple of Safety Cars, De la Rosa leads from Hamilton and Alonso and Vettel are fifth and sixth, but Massa, in fourth, takes a leaf out of the Schumacher pages and forces Vettel into the pit wall, destroying the suspension and leaving the German out of the race.
For anyone wondering, Alonso made an amazing move round the outside of Massa who lifted off just as Alonso came. So Alonso is in Championship winning position, Hamilton leads, De la Rosa is in second but Schumacher is up to fourth and harrassing Alonso for that crucial third place, the track is wet and into Juncao, Schumacher sweeps round the outside of Alonso. With seven laps to go, and 10 seconds separating them, the crowd rise knowing that Schumacher, lapping two seconds quicker, could catch Hamilton! Two laps to go and Schumacher has passed the HRT of De la Rosa and is sensing a farewell victory, and at the last corner, of the penualtimate lap, Schumacher spins and has to settle for sixth, or so we thought! De la Rosa gets a puncture and is coasting round, Schumi is back up to fifth, Webber and Raikkonen run out of fuel and Schumi is back on the podium. With only two corners to go, anything is possible and into the Bico de Pato, Alonso and Hamilton are coasting round, they have both his the cliff. They're 40 seconds ahead of the fourth place man, Kobayashi, and with a five second advantage on Alonso, it seems like Lewis might get it. Through Mergulho, Schumacher dives down the inside of Alonso and onto the long back straight, Hamilton is sliding like crazy, Schumacher is in the slipstream and pulls out just before the line and by 0.001, Michael Schumacher wins his final race!
During all of that, as well as Massa, Vettel, Raikkonen and Webber, RoGro and Maldonado came together in dramatic style, the Toro Rosso's were forced to get out the way of Vettel but slowed down so much they both stalled. This left Perez driving straight into both of them, to retire and remarkably, Heikki Kovalainen got not one but two points for ninth! However, the Marussia of Charles Pic took 11th place after being out dragged by Senna on the line!
There you have it, Alonso is a triple World Champion!
Apologies for the spelling mistakes!

 

[Brogan]

Vettel wins with Alonso third but Ferrari protested that the Red Bull had fuel irregularities.

The protest was upheld this time as it was the red team benefiting and not those awful silver cars with that dreadfully working class Dennis person in charge.

Alonso stated that he was proud of his team for winning the championship by this means.