Movies The worst film you ever saw.

This afternoon I watched King Solomon's Mines. Not a really bad film (although definitely poor) it was just that in 2 hours and 5 minutes they got the plot right for about 30 seconds. It just happens that KSM is one of my favourite books. There is no female sex element (the one woman who has any size of part is a wizened old crone), it is Henry Curtis who employs Allan Quartermain (in the film he is dead before the beginning), it takes over an hour and a half to get to the desert (less than quarter of the book), the fight due top the rebellion is not between two men, it is between large armies, the entrance to the room in the rock where the jewels are is operated by some unseen lever and is closed in a similar way, not by a native creating a rock fall. And these are only a few of the anomalies.

There was one slight improvement. When they reach Kukuanaland the thing that frightens the natives is not a rifle shot it is Good nervously fiddling with his false teeth. Maybe the rifle shot is better.
 
The Adam Sandler film "Click" is pretty poor. It starts out relatively well, with some amusing moments in places but then it gets really bloody dark and depressing.

Then it comes up with the worst possible ending it could, essentially ending with, "It was all just a dream....". That's the one thing that was drummed into me in my English classes in secondary school when doing creative writing - NEVER end your story with "And it was all a dream!". It's lazy and quite frankly this film was lazy too. Not the worst I've ever seen mind.
 
I just made the same comment about Lost the TV series.

I absolutely fucking hate it when writers do that, even if it is fiction and we know it is anyway.
It's such a cop out.
 
The Jerk

I can't believe I just sat through that. I guess I was hoping it would get better or throw in a joke that was actually funny. But no, total rubbish.
 
I've finally watched Battleship. Yes it is bad and it is cheesy and poorly made using left over special effects and sounds from Transformers. Not the worst film I have ever seen though.
 
Teeth it's a film about a girl who has teeth in her whatsit and it bites of any blokes dodah it he tried to do the thingy unless she loves him...

Her gynaecologist lost his fingers when he got a bit frisky..

What a load of shit.......
 
If I'd played the lead role in teeth I would've showed a more 3 dimensional, delicate side to a cheer leader mauling people with her "whatsit" and I would've won oscars.

I would've been hailed as the next great actor until it turned out I wasn't acting and I actually do have a carnivorous **** when I devour an oscars audience.
 
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