Nonsense, lunacy and general stutterings

KekeTheKing

Banned
Supporter
I've heard through the grapevine that Peter Windsor is looking to head up a Globally based Formula One outfit for the 2013 Season. Nelson Piquet, Jr. is said to be his first choice for the Team Leader role, with Luca Badoer playing the dutiful No. 2. Hugo Chavez is rumored to be the money-man behind the scenes.

Windsor will be designing a prototype Turbo engine himself, with a sweet App that he downloaded off his I-phone. He will have a Live web-cam set up so that you can watch him work his magic 24-7, 365. To save on costs, the cars bodywork will have to be salvaged from classic race machines of the past. Pete has his eyes fixated on a "slightly refurbished" Minardi M187, or a "like new" Footwork FA17.

*None of what you have just read is grounded in fact. It is based solely in the imagination of one "Pistol" Pete Windsor.
 

FB

Not my cup of cake
Valued Member
Going back in time, there was a question on 606 which was "Why doesn't Martin Brundle commentate in Hungary?" to which someone called Lord_Hesketh penned the following:

Martin Brundle is not allowed into Hungary due to his involvement in the uprising in 1956. He was a leader amongst the radical student movement as well as an ice-cream van driver. Driving his ice-cream van between the Russian tanks on the streets of Budapest allowed Brundle to hone his driving skills to a level where he was offered a contract to drive for the Tyrrell F1 team.

Brundle's big break however was being imprisoned during the uprising. He was asked to repair a one of Nikita Khruschev favourite Brogues, apparently damaged in a desk slapping incident at the UN, but refused. He was banished to the ice mines of Siberia before being released in 1983 and banished from all eastern block countries. Luckily for Martin, Uncle Ken had kept the seat open for him at Tyrrell Racing.

Martin is married with 17 children and often holidays at Disneyland Paris despite being too short to go on many of the rides.
 

Jen

Here be dragons.
Contributor
Wind tunnel testing will involve not only drivers but also flies - who are renowned for their upside down manoeuvres and DFS have announced that they are no longer involved in this project.
 

Fenderman

Rooters Reporter
Yeh, that was a real downer. The tests with Drosophila were really disappointing. Even coating the test track with raspberry jam failed to attract their attention. Oh well.:dunno:
 

Jen

Here be dragons.
Contributor
Yeh, that was a real downer. The tests with Drosophila were really disappointing. Even coating the test track with raspberry jam failed to attract their attention. Oh well.:dunno:
Wrong jam! Little things make all the difference, should have gone with strawberry or plum perhaps, but their favourite is banana. Could you recall for a further test? :twisted:
 

Fenderman

Rooters Reporter
Nah, had to release them all into the wild. Could breed a new batch I suppose but the ALF is bashing the door in already. News got out that we were using defenseless bugs in inhumane testing conditions. Personally, i loved them to death :oops:
 

Jen

Here be dragons.
Contributor
Do you live nearby - had an influx a couple of days ago - pesky little things that like to be in your peripheral vision.

Do get annoyed when they land on your supper - no fruit there, so what's going on?
 

Speshal

World Champion
Valued Member
I"Stubby Finger". increasing number of buttons on an F1 car steering wheel is at the heart of the problem. The thousands of button presses executed over an F1 race weekend appear to be shortening drivers digits by a massive 0.0003nm. Thankfully, F1 racers careers are relatively short so medical experts have reached a concensus that few drivers if any will have fingers disappear over their lifetimes.

Not quite as far fetched as you think - http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/05/25/games-cell-phones-children-risk-joint-pain/
 

Fenderman

Rooters Reporter
Well spotted Spesh'. I always plant a wee bit of truth in my rumours and then delight in watching to see who picks up on the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) clues. If I could remember the news items where I get my ideas from I just might post the links later - although the connections can be somewhat tenuous ;). 8-)
 

teabagyokel

#dejavu
Valued Member
Well spotted Spesh'. I always plant a wee bit of truth in my rumours and then delight in watching to see who picks up on the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) clues. If I could remember the news items where I get my ideas from I just might post the links later - although the connections can be somewhat tenuous ;). 8-)

Which certainly derails you from Fox News, who only broadcast the truth by accident.
 
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