F1 season quotes from a parallel universe

[ExtremeNinja]

A bit of fun. I started to do this myself and then I thought it would be a fun game that we could all get involved in.

Background: In a parallel universe to this, team-mates in F1 are combined together into a single driver upon employment, by use of advanced morphing technologies. Each team races one car with their hybrid driver. Whilst on my way to work the other day I stumbled across a wormhole. I threw my cigarette-butt into it so as not to litter the street, and flying back out at me came an audio recording device. Upon getting it home and examining it I found that it contained a few of the highlights of the pit to driver radio communication from their F1 series. I've added a couple of them below that I could make out from the damaged device.

Task: Are any of you able to provide quotes for any of the other teams or indeed some of the ones I already have quotes for?.

Vodafone McLaren Mercedes
Jewis Hamilbutt

View transcripts (1)

Credit: ExtremeNinja

I’ve got massive understeer

Induce oversteer

OK

Perfect, keep it up

Scuderia Marlboro Ferrari
Filando Mando

View transcripts (3)

Filando, your back wheels are going faster than your front wheels. Do you confirm that you understand this.

I couldn't hear the rest. Please reply with your suggestions. Most will be published here.

Credit: teabagyokel

For sure, I have spun the car by accident but I can still win driving backwards.

Credit: Rachit Bedi

Filando, everyone else is faster than you. Do you understand?

In this universe, I don't. And, wouldn't have happened if you had not broken the seal on the gearbox. Why the hell did you do it this time?

Filando, that was magnanimous ..... not

Petronas Mercedes
Nichael Schuberg

View transcripts (1)

Credit ExtremeNinja

Nicheal. What happened there..? What happened there?

Thank you. Thank you everyone. A-mazing.

Please reply with your suggestions. Most will be published here.

Red Bull Racing
Marsian Webbel

View transcripts (1)

Please reply with your suggestions. Most will be published here.

Credit: ExtremeNinja

Yes boys, not bad for a number two driver

What do you mean?

Never stop believing

??

Force India
Paco Hulkenresta

View transcripts (0)

Please reply with your suggestions. Most will be published here.

Sauber
Kumio Perashi

View transcripts (1)

Please reply with your suggestions. Most will be published here.

Credit: ExtremeNinja

Hold position, do not overtake Fernipe

Too late

Oh

It’s OK, I went wide

Caterham
Heitali Kovaletrov

View transcripts (0)

Please reply with your suggestions. Most will be published here.

Marussia
Charmo Pilock

View transcripts (1)

Please reply with your suggestions. Most will be published here.

Credit: ExtremeNinja

Pillock

Excuse me, Pilock

You're a pillock

No, you're Pilock

Yes, but you are a pillock

Oh, box this lap

Hispania Racing Team
Pedrain Karthirossa

View transcripts (1)

Please reply with your suggestions. Most will be published here.

Credit: teabagyokel

Ok, Pedro, you need to go a little slower.

Why?

Bernie still thinks we can afford a morpher, and no-one will believe a Narain hybrid could go that fast.

Williams F1 Team
Pastuno Sennaldo

View transcripts (1)

Please reply with your suggestions. Most will be published here.

Credit:teabagyokel

You need to push. We need the prize money.

Is Uncle Hugo not paying enough?

Torro Rosso
Dan-Eric Vercado

View transcripts (0)

Please reply with your suggestions. Most will be published here.

Lotus-Renault
Romi Raikkojean

View transcripts (2)

Credit: ExtremeNinja

Please Romi, can you try and keep your car on the ground?

Merde! They don’t call me the flying Finn for nothing.

Credit: teabagyokel

Romi, why do we have another lap 1 incident?

I was taking a shit.

Please reply with your suggestions. Most will be published here.

Please reply with your suggestions. Most will be published here.

 

[Brogan]

Charmo Pilock

 

[teabagyokel]

FA: For sure, I have spun the car by accident but I can still win driving backwards.

 

[teabagyokel]

Williams

Pits: You need to push. We need the prize money.
PM: Is Uncle Hugo not paying enough?

 

[teabagyokel]

HRT

Pits: Ok, Pedro, you need to go a little slower.
PdlR: Why?
Pits: Bernie still thinks we can afford a morpher, and no-one will believe a Narain hybrid could go that fast.

 

[teabagyokel]

Lotus

Pits: Romi, why do we have another lap 1 incident?
RR: I was taking a shit.

 

[ExtremeNinja]

Mercedes

Nicheal. What happened there..? What happened there?

Thank you. Thank you everyone. A-mazing.

 

[Mika's Italian Tears]

Ferrari:

Pits: Filando, everyone else is faster than you. Do you understand?

FA: In this universe, I don't. And, wouldn't have happened if you had not broken the seal on the gearbox. Why the hell did you do it this time?

Pits: Filando, that was magnanimous ..... not

 

[ExtremeNinja]

Marussia

Pillock

Excuse me, Pilock

You're a pillock

No, you're Pilock

Yes, but you are a piilock

Oh, box this lap