Fenderman
Rooters Reporter
Three Weeks Until Spa
Vrooooooom half the season gone already,
Vacation time for the chaps and even Eddie,
So what can we say in our half term report?
Whilst we sit with feet up in a sunny resort,
Has it been thrilling, exciting and a blast,
And how many times has our bet come home last?
Well, we had derisible tyres at the seasons start,
With failed attempts to fix it on Pirelli's part,
What with Tyre-Test-Gate and swapping wheels,
Independent Tribunal judged and backroom deals,
A hijacked three day young driver's test,
Sat out and missed by Mercedes best.
We got the usual DRS candy from baby passes,
And the victims tyres having the grip of molasses,
Delaminations gave way to explosive fails,
As Pirelli's proposed solutions hit the rails.
Meanwhilst domination by RBR and Seb Vettel,
Was driving his detractors clearly quite mental,
Raikkonen and Alonso have been looking good too,
Retiring Webber's had enough of being a number two,
Felipe Massa seems content to be second son,
But spatially challenged RoGro threatens his number one,
Button and Perez, well they're just miserable,
Doing their best but the car is incapable.
The Ham did right to get the hell off of the MacLaren ship,
Just look where they are in this years championship,
As Macca's hopes dim the light of hope has been seen,
With podiums and victories for the Mercedes team,
And Hamilton has finally settled well in,
With his outscoring Nico and his Hungary win.
So Formula One takes yet another blooming three week break away,
As midway through the GP in Hungary the season's done halfway,
With storm clouds gathering over poor ol' Bernie Ecclestone's head,
Because the Gribkowsky Bribe Affair is far from dead,
The German court reneges on a promise and will prosecute,
Bernie's liberty is on the line unless he's super cute.
The silly season is well upon us too, with a driver market in a mess,
Teams squealing for wheel men of quality and maybe one in a dress,
Against Lotus' hopes Raikkonen's being headhunted for RBR,
But needn't worry 'cause Red Bull is trying for a Ferrari star,
Alonso says he's fed up with his car but doesn't get similar flak,
To that suffered by The Ham who said the same a while back.
Meantime, the FIA will strictly enforce a factory shut down for everyone,
So all of the racing teams will have a proper rest, no doubt in the sun,
The movers and shakers will continue behind the scenes,
Trying their best to seal the deals of their dreams,
Hoping to get the right bum to sit in their team's tub,
As FOM and CNC seek a Bernie Ecclestone sub'.
So what should we expect from the 2013 Formula One season part two?
Whose cars will be better and in the pink and whose will be in the blue?
Will we see the continued rising of the Three Pointed Star?
And ever more disappointment from the all chrome car,
And can Ferrari give their drivers the equipment,
To get back on terms and back in the hunt.
Can Vettel show his mettle and carry on to dominate and win it,
And will everyone else get totally fed up with his fucking digit?
Will Lotus keep up their good work and give Kimi a real title shot,
And will RoGro drive better and not look like such a clot?
But what of all the others? we hear you shout,
Well at least they're in it until they're out.
by the poetic character residing in Fenderman's Head (31/07/2013)
Vrooooooom half the season gone already,
Vacation time for the chaps and even Eddie,
So what can we say in our half term report?
Whilst we sit with feet up in a sunny resort,
Has it been thrilling, exciting and a blast,
And how many times has our bet come home last?
Well, we had derisible tyres at the seasons start,
With failed attempts to fix it on Pirelli's part,
What with Tyre-Test-Gate and swapping wheels,
Independent Tribunal judged and backroom deals,
A hijacked three day young driver's test,
Sat out and missed by Mercedes best.
We got the usual DRS candy from baby passes,
And the victims tyres having the grip of molasses,
Delaminations gave way to explosive fails,
As Pirelli's proposed solutions hit the rails.
Meanwhilst domination by RBR and Seb Vettel,
Was driving his detractors clearly quite mental,
Raikkonen and Alonso have been looking good too,
Retiring Webber's had enough of being a number two,
Felipe Massa seems content to be second son,
But spatially challenged RoGro threatens his number one,
Button and Perez, well they're just miserable,
Doing their best but the car is incapable.
The Ham did right to get the hell off of the MacLaren ship,
Just look where they are in this years championship,
As Macca's hopes dim the light of hope has been seen,
With podiums and victories for the Mercedes team,
And Hamilton has finally settled well in,
With his outscoring Nico and his Hungary win.
So Formula One takes yet another blooming three week break away,
As midway through the GP in Hungary the season's done halfway,
With storm clouds gathering over poor ol' Bernie Ecclestone's head,
Because the Gribkowsky Bribe Affair is far from dead,
The German court reneges on a promise and will prosecute,
Bernie's liberty is on the line unless he's super cute.
The silly season is well upon us too, with a driver market in a mess,
Teams squealing for wheel men of quality and maybe one in a dress,
Against Lotus' hopes Raikkonen's being headhunted for RBR,
But needn't worry 'cause Red Bull is trying for a Ferrari star,
Alonso says he's fed up with his car but doesn't get similar flak,
To that suffered by The Ham who said the same a while back.
Meantime, the FIA will strictly enforce a factory shut down for everyone,
So all of the racing teams will have a proper rest, no doubt in the sun,
The movers and shakers will continue behind the scenes,
Trying their best to seal the deals of their dreams,
Hoping to get the right bum to sit in their team's tub,
As FOM and CNC seek a Bernie Ecclestone sub'.
So what should we expect from the 2013 Formula One season part two?
Whose cars will be better and in the pink and whose will be in the blue?
Will we see the continued rising of the Three Pointed Star?
And ever more disappointment from the all chrome car,
And can Ferrari give their drivers the equipment,
To get back on terms and back in the hunt.
Can Vettel show his mettle and carry on to dominate and win it,
And will everyone else get totally fed up with his fucking digit?
Will Lotus keep up their good work and give Kimi a real title shot,
And will RoGro drive better and not look like such a clot?
But what of all the others? we hear you shout,
Well at least they're in it until they're out.
by the poetic character residing in Fenderman's Head (31/07/2013)
