A new idea from Bernie


Points Scorer
according to some news sources our bernie wants a change to the rules.

a car would be allowed to 'cut a corner' and leave the track to take a short cut five times per race and thus overtake cars in front who do follow the circuit.

i am not sure this is a good idea...
He just courts controversy. It may be good for takings but it isn't good for sport!

You have to wonder if this was allowed, who is responsible for counting, does the official responsible advise the teams of each occurance, and would the pit wall be allowed to tell the drivers how many off piste passes they've made.

It's Bernie all over, create an opportunity for creative control....
The sooner this guy is removed from F1, the better.

I've never heard of such a nonsensical idea.

Scratch that last, yes I have. It was Bernie's medals idea.
Its about time he stepped down, if all the 'ideas' he spouts out actually came to fruitition what a disaster for the sport it would be.

This man would destroy F1 in a day if he was given free reign.
Now come on guys, I think within a package of other ideas this could just work.

A short cut to be taken 5 times in a GP
A boost bonus that can be picked up when activated each lap.
Guns and Defence aids that become activated when you drive over spots on the track
A special bonus level when you reach a hundred points
An extra life if you complete a special mission such as the "pit stop" challenge

It's part of F1's plan to become greener, as they won't use as much fuel, obviously!

I'm with Bernie 100% on this one, great idea old guy!

I really don't take any notice of him any more. He's like a monster, if everyone just stops paying attention to him he will just go away...
:thinking: Thinking about it for a moment longer... it could be an excellent avenue into a greeneer future for F1. They could start off by attaching rotor mower blades to the cars and as the technology advances they could adopt a hover fly mow system, bringing back ground affects and promoting overtaking even more. Eventually there would be no need for a circuit defined by tarmac at all thus creating a totally green and sustainable future for track design.

It would even open an avenue for F1 to return to circuits like Goodwood, they could use the race course. F1 racing could be use to prepare the course for Glorious Goodwood ensuring that the going is firm and the grass is an optimum length.
Let's face it, in a perfect Bernie world the outcome of a race would be decided in a similar manner to Scottish conveyancing...

For Qualifying the teams and the drivers would discuss where they felt the exchange rate would go and the split between team and driver contributions;

For the race, each driver would present a sealed envelope bid to Bernie for what he deemed the win to be worth.

In the event of a tie the driver making the largest part of the overall contribution would be declared the winner.

Naturally the whole event would have to be overseed by the FIAs official banker, the same guy they rent out to Noel Edmonds, who would decide the final exchange rate. Opinions have suspected recently that the currencies will be based pre-Euro, and that the FIA have a natural sympathy towards the Lire.
"Good afternoon and welcome to the 2011 British Grand Prix, Live on pay per view from Alton Towers. As you join us the 8 cars in the race are lined up on the grid for this exciting 4 laps of the childrens kart track sponsored as always by Santander. So it's over to Martin Brundle for the grid"
"Good afternoon every one, It looks like it's going to be another thrill ride today. On poll we have Lewis Hamilton in the pink car with the My Little Pony stickers, 2nd on the grid is Fernando Alonso in the yellow car sporting Action Man sponsorship this year. on row two we have Jenson Button alongside Michael Schumacher both driving the blue cars in the Frank Williams ran Jackanory Specials, Then we have both Vettel and Webber and they are driving the red cars sponsored by Fireman Sam, next up is the second My Little Pony pink car being driven today by a returning Damon Hill and finally the last car on the grid is Luca Badoer in the second of the yellow Action man cars".
"Thankyou Martin. And yes the lights are coming on, and it's goooooo for the first of these 4 exciting laps. Hamilton makes a flying start down to the first corner with Alonso in hot pursuit. Alonso employing the new principle of shuffleing forward in his seat trying to shunt the car that little bit faster. Both Button and Schumacher got away cleanly and are line astern but Vettel appears to have been punted in the bumper by his team mate. There away though. Oh it would seem Badoer has moved up a place as Hill is franticly shoveing 10 pences into his stalled car. Finally Hill is away but some way behind the leader"
"Up front Hamilton is coming under pressure from Alonso as we round the bottom set of tyres. Further back Button has spun and we have the martial on the track picking his car up and turning it in the right direction. They're very quick the martials here."
"Alonso still putting Hamilton under pressure as we start lap 3, but wait Schumacher has taken the short cut between the two tyres and is now coming up hard on the pair of them. Further back down the field Vettel seems to be slowing, he is slowing. He frantically waves to his father watching in the crowd. Yes Mr Vettel snr is coming on to the track with a handful of coins and Vettel is stuffing them into the coin slot for all he is worth"
"Badoer has retired after he was bumped by Hill, fell off his car and grazed his knee. He was taken to the nurses office and given a lollipop and told he was a brave boy and we are pleased to say he is now fine."
"So were on the last lap of this thrilling race and it's Hamilton from Alonso from Schumacher with the others some way behind. Now the question is can Lewis hold on round the bottom bend? He's run wide but there seems to be no way that Alonso can pass. Schumacher is also trying hard as all three of them try shunting their cars a little harder but Hamilton crosses the line in first place from Alonso by the width of a rubber bumper. Schumacher is in third and rounds out the podium"
"Well I'm sure you'll agree, thanks to the changes adopted by Mr Bernie Ecclestone esq we have never had such a thrilling season"
"Next weeks race comes live from Disney land Paris, We'll see you there"
CaT said:

A short cut to be taken 5 times in a GP
A boost bonus that can be picked up when activated each lap.
Guns and Defence aids that become activated when you drive over spots on the track
A special bonus level when you reach a hundred points
An extra life if you complete a special mission such as the "pit stop" challenge

Been watching Jason Statham in Death Race CaT?
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