Nonsense, lunacy and general stutterings

News just in.....

"Crazytown applies to the FIA to run an F1 race on a new street circuit from the start of the 2013 season"

Yes, but where exactly were they thinking of - Coventry springs to mind - that nasty little elevated 'ring road' could cause mayhem but would certainly be a test of driver skill.

Not exactly Monaco and no boats - really central for the Brits though - just get a seat above the ring road, just to be on the safe side
 
vangelis.jpg


Trustee detective calls for ban on woodlice

'I have been slaving away at my essential mission to find and vitalise the soapster newswomman now for some months, however I will not progress any further popadom if a certain shuddering problem is not rectified. I am unable to observe the marsers because woodlice keep eating my telescopes. As you already know popadom I am unable to listen as they have sieve-mouths. If the situation does not improve I will never dissolve the fateful event of 26 April 1999 popadom I have sofar lost to woodlice:
1st-26 March........76 telescopes
27March-6 April....50 telescopes
6-April-1st June....40 telescopes


It is humiliating for me with no popadom telescopes. Please illegalise these fiends and send me $306'337 so I may continue my enquiries' popadom
 
NEW FROM THE BBC THIS SUMMER.

The BBC are proud to announce a new programme for the summer schedule which will combine some of the most successful programmes from the last 12 months of the BBC's televisual feast of entertainment and give the world a whole new sporting event. The BBC are proud to bring you.......

"Celebrity Formula Dalek Racing Goes Large”

This thrilling 5 round event which will kick off at Castle Coombe on the 1st of July will see commentators Gregg Wallace and John Tourode bring you live racing from some of Britain’s finest club circuits. Some of the shortest celebrity’s we could find will be squeezing themselves into the Dalek shells and kicking up a storm as they complete a two lap race. In order to bring even more excitement to the series, when a Dalek is less than one second behind the Dalek in front (but not on the first lap) its gun will become active!!! Yes, it will be “Exterminate, Exterminate” all the way in this fun series. Richard Hammond will be on BBC3 to bring you the live highlights show with comedy side kick Eddie Jordan on hand to interview our racing celebs as they cross the finishing line.
 
Plato v Lewis, is that the question? :thinking: Source link

The Protagonists.

1) Plato

2) Lewis

The Theory.

1) Plato. Once tried to explain things with a metaphor about a cave. You know, two men chained to a cave wall and could only see shadows of stuff from the outside. Is the stuff outside real or, if told it's real, they'd think that's crazy?

2) Lewis. Strapped to the cockpit of a race car and can only see stuff from the outside at high speed. Is the approaching gap he sees real and can he predict what happens to that gap before he gets there. Will it close? Will it not? Is it even there in the first place? :unsure:

The Conclusion.

Plato? What does he have to whinge about? Caves.

Lewis? Is there a gap, what happens to that gap and what if there is no gap? :dunno:

The comparison....? Plato doesn't think that his cave is as real as the next man's and Lewis doesn't think his gap is appreciated as much as the next man's...

The Pseudo Philosophical Twoddle.

The philosophical conundrums that the modern F1 driver must juggle, along with all those pesky steering wheel buttons that need pressing, are very demanding. Caves are all well and good but they aren't a patch on the modern F1 car...

It's not like BTCC you know, where some driver called Neil makes gaps by hitting people out of the way, or tries to (even when it's his team mate!)

So, finally. F1 drivers. The modern philosophers. :tea::thinking::)

This article was a one off, never to be repeated article. I would copyright it, but meh.....
 
What happened when the Pottington Over 65 Ladies Club let an F1 Fan write the report on the annual baking contest in the club magazine "The Pottington Over 65 Ladies Club News Letter"

BETTY STOKES CHOKED

Mrs Betty Stokes of 26 Cherry Tree Lane, Fathington is a choker!! Fact. Mrs Hilda Potter of 89 The Oaks, Pottington smashed her younger rival clean out of the park in the Ladies Over 65 Baking Contest held at the Pottington Village hall yesterday. Hilda (72) made a Victoria sponge unlike any other in the history of baking and Betty (the two time Shire Counties Victoria Sponge Champion) just couldn’t keep up with the woman who was 2 years her senior. It didn’t help that Betty’s husband Arthur tried to cheat Hilda out of a famous win by supplying a well known brand of Jam instead of the home made jam as laid down in rule 35c of the Ladies Over 65 Baking regulations 2010. Rumours that Hilda had stolen a recipe from a rival club proved un-founded after a thorough investigation by the Federation Of Lady Bakers. The rumours started when Ms Jessica Tanner of the high street newsagents allegedly caught Mrs Potter using the Photo Copier to re-produce several pages of Jamie Oliver’s latest book. So to all the fans of Betty Stokes, HAH!!! She choked and you know it !!!!!
 
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