Grand Prix 2023 Dutch Grand Prix Practice, Qualifying & Race Discussion

As we already know the result of the Dutch GP here's something a bit different, The Unbelievable Truth. Hidden in the following nonsense are various truths about The Netherlands. Your task, should you accept it, is to find those truths.

We all know the Dutch like cycling, this is because the bicycle was invented by a Dutchman, Guido van Peedalman. The Dutch people own, on average, 1.3 bicycles per person. Lewis Hamilton famously comes from the slum town of Stevenage, the building of the first houses of the New Town was in 1950. Almere in Flevoland used the roundabouts and underpasses of Stevenage New Town as a template for their city.

The Dutch love orange, despite it being the colour officially regarded as being most despised by F1 fans. Carrots are orange, but in olden times carrots were actually white, purple and yellow. Dutch farmers deliberately bred orange carrots to celebrate their Royal Family, something for us all to think about when having our next roast dinner. Dutch are statistically the tallest nation in the world, as a result when Dutch politicians travel around the world they have a team of diggers who are tasked with creating 20cm holes for them to stand in to make sure they don't tower over their opposite numbers from other nations.

Bridges were invented by Ruud de Bridgemaker, a Dutch amateur engineer who in the 8th century married a woman who lived on the other side of a river. The wedding ceremony involved him and his bride to be, Marta van Ballbreaker, shouting their vows at one another. A bridge was, of course, essential for him to be able to consummate his marriage. To celebrate this hero the Dutch have built over 1,200 bridges in their capital, Amsterdam, so that horny stag party attendees can get to visit prostitutes without having to swim a canal. There are over 1,000 windmills in the Netherlands. These were needed as over 2/3rd of the Netherlands was below sea level in the 16th century and the windmills were used to lift up the land from the sea so they could put bricks underneath. Now only 1/3rd of the country is below sea level.

The Netherlands has given us some great musicians, for example Eddie van Halen and Andre Rieu (I did a quick search and they were the only two I knew). The Dutch National Anthem, Het Wilhelmus, is the oldest patriotic song in the world and was adopted as their anthem in 1932. So you can sing along at the upcoming race here at the lyrics:

Wilhelmus van Nassouwe
ben ik van Duitsen bloed
den vaderland getrouwe
blijf ik tot in den dood.
Een Prinse van Oranje
ben ik, vrij onverveerd,
den Koning van Hispanje
heb ik altijd geëerd.

Mijn schild ende betrouwen
zijt Gij, o God mijn Heer,
op U zo wil ik bouwen,
verlaat mij nimmermeer.
Dat ik doch vroom mag blijven,
uw dienaar t'aller stond,
de tirannie verdrijven
die mij mijn hart doorwondt.

Which translate as:

William of Nassau am I, of German descent;
True to the fatherland I remain until death.
Prince of Orange am I, free and fearless.
To the King of Spain I have always given honour.

You, my God and Lord, are my shield, on You I rely.
On You I will build; never leave me,
So that I may remain pious, your servant at all moments,
Dispelling the tyranny that wounds my heart.

The Dutch GP is 72 laps of a 4.259 km circuit. Here's the schedule, enjoy. Well, try not to scream too loudly as Max tops every session, takes pole, lead every lap, and sets the fastest even though he will be making a pit stop every 5 laps "just for a laugh".

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that is a disgraceful qualifying from perez. if he wants to be sacked by red bull he's going the rught way about it. there is no excuses for being 7th, 1.3secs slower than your teammate & half second slower than a williams in potentially the most dominant car F1 has ever seen
Well Ricciardo might not be the one replacing him

I can't believe Mercedes really dropped the ball with Hamilton from overnight but this circuit tends to create safety cars so might throw something

If Norris and Russell want to prove something they should just go for it first corner
 
I can't believe Mercedes really dropped the ball with Hamilton from overnight

How so?
im only guessing here, but what i can only think of is according to sky, he was saying over radio struggling with tyre pressures apparently.

also mercedes pushed on the wrong lap & wouldve missed out on the track evolution. which is amazing how teams forget the basics of F1. the track will be quickest at the end not if you finish your lap with 1 min to go
 
I thought the way that Red Bull foresaw the troubles Perez would have later in the race and therefore pitted Verstappen on to dry tyres first was incredible. How do they get such foresight?

You would have expected Perez to have the call as he was the driver in the lead but clearly Christian's crystal balls must have been tingling at the time because they let Max pit first and enjoy a full lap on new softs before Perez could come in.

That's Max's 9th special Red Bull Catering victory sponge cake in a row.
 
Sergio Perez is firmly put in his place now at Red Bull. Remember after Baku the media touted him as a championship contender, now he is just the new Barrichello, Coulthard, and Webber.
 
brilliant drama in that 1st 10 laps. although mad that it was bone dry at the start & sodden by the time they had come back around for the 2nd lap. dont think i have ever seen that so sudden

but again im furious with mercedes. its 1 of the oldest rules in motorsport to be on the right tyre at the right time. these Strategists i understand its a tough job. how when there is tonnes of spray & you see on the timing boards perez is 7 seconds quicker than you on his outlap. do you not pit. how any teams were screaming for their drivers to come in is beyond me. because as albon proved yeah you might want to save 42 seconds of pitstop time if it dries up. but by that point albon had already lost 55 seconds. was behind Zhou, Magnussen & Gasly who all started behind made 2 pit stops & were still ahead of him
 
Yet again a bit of rain turns an F1 race in to a complete farce. Why can't those that run the sport be honest with the fans and admit they won't race in the rain instead of the rubbish we are made to put up with?
i was with you, angrily having ago at david croft suggestion of a red flag. i think they did everything they could they kept it green until something happened then acted. at the moment i dont what else they could do because you had 4 or 5 already skate off at the 1st corner. & when you have zhou embedded in there he was in the danger zone. the last thing we want is someone aquaplane off like zhou did 100/150mph & smash into him

& at least with red flag we got a 5 lap shootout at the end
 
Lol, "shootout".
everything about this season goes without saying that it was without max,. but we few good battles behind norris/russell, Lewis/sainz Gasly/Perez. id rather have 5 laps under green than finishing under safety car or calling it as a race on lap 65
 
brilliant drama in that 1st 10 laps. although mad that it was bone dry at the start & sodden by the time they had come back around for the 2nd lap. dont think i have ever seen that so sudden

but again im furious with mercedes. its 1 of the oldest rules in motorsport to be on the right tyre at the right time. these Strategists i understand its a tough job. how when there is tonnes of spray & you see on the timing boards perez is 7 seconds quicker than you on his outlap. do you not pit. how any teams were screaming for their drivers to come in is beyond me. because as albon proved yeah you might want to save 42 seconds of pitstop time if it dries up. but by that point albon had already lost 55 seconds. was behind Zhou, Magnussen & Gasly who all started behind made 2 pit stops & were still ahead of him
This is alarming that no one is spotting this and the drivers are relying on the team call
 
everything about this season goes without saying that it was without max,. but we few good battles behind norris/russell, Lewis/sainz Gasly/Perez. id rather have 5 laps under green than finishing under safety car or calling it as a race on lap 65
If only Red Bull lost the race
 
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