Hold on, can we present these before Vienna?
Well, whatever he says, means nothing to me.
And these mean nothing to the recipients, but here goes...
Award for Ruthless Driver Management: Red Bull - for Verstappen and Kvyat
Award for Most ****ing Swearing: Sebastian ****ing Vettel
Fernando Alonso Award for Taking an Early Season Holiday: Fernando Alonso
Democratic Party Award for Insanity in Strategy: Ferrari, in Australia in particular, but pretty much everywhere else too...
Hamilton & Massa 2011 Award for Feud of the Year: Sebastian Vettel and Max Verstappen
Surprisingly Shit In Hindsight Start to the Season: Force India
Award for Being Really Good at the First Couple of Races then Doing Bugger All Since: Romain Grosjean and Haas
Count Dracula Award for Not Nailing Down the Coffin Yet: Kimi Raikkonen
Award for Most Easily Disprovable Lie: Nico Rosberg, for Nicosteer in Germany
Mark Webber Cup: Lewis Hamilton
Alain Prost Cup for Not Bothering to Try To Beat Him: Nico Rosberg
Remember Him Award: His name is Rio/He lasted 'till July
Coupe Simon Le Bon: Rio Haryanto
One Race, One Point Award: Stoffel Vandoorne
Sebastian Vettel Award for Blowing A Tyre: Sebastian Vettel, Austria.
David Coulthard Award for Insane Devotion to Team Orders When Driving For The Only Team That's Going to Win Anything: Nico Rosberg, Monaco
Senna & Prost Cup: Rosberg & Hamilton, Spain
Bruno Senna & Nico Prost Cup: Ericsson & Nasr, Monaco
Senna in Monaco 1984 Award for Not Winning A Race in the Wet Despite Being Bloody Awesome: Max Verstappen, Brazil
Food & Drink Hygiene Awards: Daniel Ricciardo
"Yes, I Did Beat My Team Mate, Thanks for Noticing" of the Year: Daniel Ricciardo
Giancarlo Fisichella Award for Incorrect Podium: 3rd step, Mexico.
Friends Like These Cup: Daniel Ricciardo, Red Bull, Spain and Monaco.
Jean-Louis Schlesser Cup: That Malaysia Engine
Motorsport Forum Moderators' Award: That Malaysia Engine
Garmin Award for Needing a SatNav: Lewis Hamilton, tourist in Baku.
Jenson Button Award for Joking Through the Pain: Jenson Button
Award for Being Slightly Less Shit, but not Nearly Enough Less Shit to not be Shit: McLaren-Honda
Biocontinuance Accomplishment Aggregatisation Endowment: Ron Dennis
Award for Reminding Everyone It's Wet: Jolyon Palmer, Monaco
Award for Properly Right-Scotching Your Drivers' Reputations by Being Shit: Renault
Award for Clearly not Giving The First Fifth of a Shit What Anyone Thinks of Him: Max Verstappen
Deserving of the Luck Racing of the Year: Ricciardo and Verstappen in Malaysia.
Most Inauspicious Start to a Bloody Brilliant Day: Nico Rosberg, Malaysia.
Fernando. Is. Not. Faster. Than. You. But. He. Is. Still. Somehow. Beating. You. In. The. Championship. Award: Felipe Massa
Award for Winning In the Slowest Possible Time: Hamilton, Abu Dhabi
Curva do Sol 2003 Award for Being the Only Wet Piece of Track on Circuit: Abbey
Renault Mass Damper Award for Mid-Season Rule Change: Radio Gaga
Most Insane Rule of the Year: Knockout Qualifying
Most Insane Second Try of the Year: Knockout Qualifying IN RACE TWO!
Most Irritatingly Ubiquitous Team Principal of the Year: Christian Horner
McLaren-Honda Award for Engine Penalties: Fernando Alonso, at Spa
Holy Shit Moment of the Year: KMag crashing at Raidillon!
Convenient Red Flag of the Year: Alonso and Hamilton after KMag crashed at Raidillon!
Deserved World Champion: Nico Rosberg. Yes, he is.
Well, whatever he says, means nothing to me.
And these mean nothing to the recipients, but here goes...
Award for Ruthless Driver Management: Red Bull - for Verstappen and Kvyat
Award for Most ****ing Swearing: Sebastian ****ing Vettel
Fernando Alonso Award for Taking an Early Season Holiday: Fernando Alonso
Democratic Party Award for Insanity in Strategy: Ferrari, in Australia in particular, but pretty much everywhere else too...
Hamilton & Massa 2011 Award for Feud of the Year: Sebastian Vettel and Max Verstappen
Surprisingly Shit In Hindsight Start to the Season: Force India
Award for Being Really Good at the First Couple of Races then Doing Bugger All Since: Romain Grosjean and Haas
Count Dracula Award for Not Nailing Down the Coffin Yet: Kimi Raikkonen
Award for Most Easily Disprovable Lie: Nico Rosberg, for Nicosteer in Germany
Mark Webber Cup: Lewis Hamilton
Alain Prost Cup for Not Bothering to Try To Beat Him: Nico Rosberg
Remember Him Award: His name is Rio/He lasted 'till July
Coupe Simon Le Bon: Rio Haryanto
One Race, One Point Award: Stoffel Vandoorne
Sebastian Vettel Award for Blowing A Tyre: Sebastian Vettel, Austria.
David Coulthard Award for Insane Devotion to Team Orders When Driving For The Only Team That's Going to Win Anything: Nico Rosberg, Monaco
Senna & Prost Cup: Rosberg & Hamilton, Spain
Bruno Senna & Nico Prost Cup: Ericsson & Nasr, Monaco
Senna in Monaco 1984 Award for Not Winning A Race in the Wet Despite Being Bloody Awesome: Max Verstappen, Brazil
Food & Drink Hygiene Awards: Daniel Ricciardo
"Yes, I Did Beat My Team Mate, Thanks for Noticing" of the Year: Daniel Ricciardo
Giancarlo Fisichella Award for Incorrect Podium: 3rd step, Mexico.
Friends Like These Cup: Daniel Ricciardo, Red Bull, Spain and Monaco.
Jean-Louis Schlesser Cup: That Malaysia Engine
Motorsport Forum Moderators' Award: That Malaysia Engine
Garmin Award for Needing a SatNav: Lewis Hamilton, tourist in Baku.
Jenson Button Award for Joking Through the Pain: Jenson Button
Award for Being Slightly Less Shit, but not Nearly Enough Less Shit to not be Shit: McLaren-Honda
Biocontinuance Accomplishment Aggregatisation Endowment: Ron Dennis
Award for Reminding Everyone It's Wet: Jolyon Palmer, Monaco
Award for Properly Right-Scotching Your Drivers' Reputations by Being Shit: Renault
Award for Clearly not Giving The First Fifth of a Shit What Anyone Thinks of Him: Max Verstappen
Deserving of the Luck Racing of the Year: Ricciardo and Verstappen in Malaysia.
Most Inauspicious Start to a Bloody Brilliant Day: Nico Rosberg, Malaysia.
Fernando. Is. Not. Faster. Than. You. But. He. Is. Still. Somehow. Beating. You. In. The. Championship. Award: Felipe Massa
Award for Winning In the Slowest Possible Time: Hamilton, Abu Dhabi
Curva do Sol 2003 Award for Being the Only Wet Piece of Track on Circuit: Abbey
Renault Mass Damper Award for Mid-Season Rule Change: Radio Gaga
Most Insane Rule of the Year: Knockout Qualifying
Most Insane Second Try of the Year: Knockout Qualifying IN RACE TWO!
Most Irritatingly Ubiquitous Team Principal of the Year: Christian Horner
McLaren-Honda Award for Engine Penalties: Fernando Alonso, at Spa
Holy Shit Moment of the Year: KMag crashing at Raidillon!
Convenient Red Flag of the Year: Alonso and Hamilton after KMag crashed at Raidillon!
Deserved World Champion: Nico Rosberg. Yes, he is.
