I'll bite:
Submissiveferraridrivers
Engines-What were Prost's on-the-sly Ferrari engines in 2001 called? Acer?
Team Principal- Norberto Fontana (Another willing mover for the good of Ferrari)
Drivers- Rubens Barrichello
Felipe Massa
Test driver- Eddie Irvine
Giving Two Schitts (Strangely a one-car team)
Team Principal- Colin Kolles
Driver- Kimi Raikkonen
Carwash Operatives
Team Principal- Big Joe (This team is definitely not funded by drug money...)
Drivers- Giovanni Lavaggi
The fool who decided to wet the tunnel in Monaco
Swiss(roll)
Drivers- Jean-Denis Deletraz
Andrea Chiesa
Test Driver- Gregor Foitek
Italiannamesthatseeminglygoonforever
Drivers- Domenico Schiattarella
Andrea Montermini
Test Driver- Giancarlo Fisichella
All The Flying Finns
Drivers- Keke Rosberg
Mika Hakkinen
Test drivers- Mika Salo
Heikki Kovalainen
Hazardous to Safety Vehicles
Drivers- Nick Heidfeld
Taki Inoue
The Music Men (What can they play?)
Drivers- Slim Borgudd
Damon Hill
Foodie F1
Drivers- Pedro Diniz (in the oven)
Gerhard Berger
Test Driver- Heinz (beans) Harald Frentzen
McLaren's Number Threes
Team Principal- Martin Whitmarsh (Oh, he's
actually in charge at McLaren)
Drivers- Pedro de la Rosa
Alex Wurz
Test driver- Garry Paffett
Keeping it in the family
Drivers- Jacques Villeneuve Sr
Jacques Villeneuve Jr
Founder- Gilles Villeneuve
Wonga.com Reddiesmoneycashdosh
Drivers- Narain Karthikeyan
Sakon Yamamoto
Test driver- Patrick Friesacher
Guess Who?
Team Principal- Peter (who?) Sauber
Drivers- Nicolas (Who?) Kiesa
Stephane (who?) Sarrazin
Test Driver- Franck (Who?) Montagny
Stereotypethejapanesebycallingtheirteambanzaiorkamikazeorsomethingthatsoundsvaguelyjapanese
Drivers- Takuma Sato
aKamui Kobayashi
Test driver- Kazuki Nakajima
Fly Me to the Moon
Drivers-Mark Webber
Derek Daly
Test Driver- Christian Fittipaldi
The Finger
Team Principal- Sebastian Vettel
Driver- Sebastian Vettel
Chief Engineer- Sebastian Vettel
Team Boss
Team Principal- Ross (the boss) Brawn
Drivers- Jos (the boss) Verstappen
Stirling Moss (the boss. Can I get away with that one?)
Poor Relations
Drivers- Bruno Senna
Ralf Schumacher
Unlicenced
Team Principal- Andrea Sassetti
Drivers- Yuji Ide
Perry McCarthy
F1's Holy Church
Founder- Ayrton Senna
Drivers- Pastor (See what I did there?) Maldonado
John (the baptist) Watson
Test driver-David (rarely beat Goliath) Coulthard
Moustaches and Crashers
Team Principal- Eddie Jordan
Drivers- Nigel Mansell
Keke Rosberg
Test Driver- (Merely to fulfil the 'crashers' criteria) Romain Grosjean
Oxymorons
Driver- Scott Speed
Lapped
Drivers- Andrea de Cesaris
Olivier Grouillard
Test drivers- Philippe Alliot
Jean-Pierre Jarier
(These guys make Karthikeyan look tame!)
Running the sport- Me, Alain 'failed gearbox' Prost, Arsene 'didn't see the incident' Wenger, and the makers of 'Tooned'
TV Package- BBC, always with 1982-spec titles. Walker and Brundle commentate. Race programme to be presented by Nicole Scherzinger and Lewis Hamilton (A.K.A F1's Ross and Rachel, trust me, it'll have some frosty moments...). 'Pit Bits' presented by a walking, talking i-pad that renders Anthony Davidson completely invisible, and makes wildly suggestive comments to all vaguely attractive womenfolk (Red Button alternative with a rival Microsoft-whatdoyoucallit sobbing in the back of a dilapidated motorhome somewhere at the rear of the paddock). All presentations of the grid formation to be done with that original BBC background music and in 1986-style. All commentators must drink when Ted is 'down at McLaren' or it is believed to be the point at which Jonathan Ledgard would shout 'on a charge' or 'up/down the hill'. All interviews to be conducted Piers Morgan. Any driver who fails to take the piss and generate sufficient laughs gets a ten-place grid penalty for the following race.
Circuits:
Race 1- Interlagos, Brazil
2- Kyalami, South Africa (Commentators must always profess how they were anti-apartheid, ignoring that they commentated/raced there)
3- Imola, ITALY (Not San Marino)
4- (Always April 1) Rainbow Road Mario Kart Circuit
5- Monaco
6- Spa, Belgium
7- Dijon, France
8- Montreal, Canada
9- Silverstone/Brands Hatch alternate, Britain
10- Old Hockenheim, Germany
11- Osterreichring, Austria
12- Zandvoort, Holland
13- Estoril, Portugal
14- Suzuka, Japan
15- Austin, USA (I'm a convert! Shoot me now)
16- Watkins Glen, USA
17- Adelaide, Australia
Spot the odd one out!
