Dreamworld - F1 collectable sales

Discussion in 'Clip The Apex Presents...' started by Jen, Apr 18, 2012.

  1. Jen

    Jen Here be dragons. Contributor

    A bargain board for all F1 fans - a series of collectables that will be available after each race from the the 2012 season.

    We will start with the Shanghai, China GP. Apologies for those of you who were hoping for something from Australia or Malaysia - we are still in negotiation - items may become available later in the season.

    All lots will come with certification from the seller as to their authenticity - everything for sale here formed part of the spectacle and result.

    We have a selection of used and new items. All are open to bids, but we have set 'reserves' on some items.

    Lot 1 - numerous sets of NEW inters and wets.

    Pirelli have decided not to ship these over to Bahrain - the cost involved is huge and the upcoming venue suggests the lack of need. Only one set per household and buyer collects.

    Lot 2 - Bags of marbles (soft/medium mix). The bags come in various sizes from 20kg. to 500kg - again Pirelli are being churlish about sweeping these up, so an enterprising marshal has decided to clear the track whilst making a few bob. Dispatch open to discussion - could take a while if you opt for a postal service.

    Lot 3 - 'barely used' gearbox. Yep, the selfsame that relegated Lewis Hamilton to 7th on the grid. Depending on your point of view, you could make a shrine to it or stick it on a wall in your garden and fire pot-shots at it. Either way, if it is still intact in a few years time, it could be worth a small fortune.

    Getting to the heart breakers now - tissues at the ready!

    Lot 4 - a bit gruesome but essential for the 'true' F1 fan's collection - used tissues from Sebastian Vettel's waste bin. Sorry, but he did blub after Mark overtook him, which just compounded his feeling of inadequacy after the car lost it's advantage. Written authentication is available for the sceptics - sadly, I can't divulge here who is responsible for the bin emptying but know it is a 'well-respected' name in F1 management.

    Lot 5 - two pit boards displaying 'FW 70' - can be split! Is your Dad about to turn 70 and his initials are FW? If so, this could be part of your inheritance.

    Lot 6 - the rear wheel nut, and barely used, that decked Michael Schumacher's chance of a podium! Heart rending stuff and please don't ask where I got this from. Please believe, that it is the very one that wouldn't go on (and, again, this can be authenticated).

    Lot 7 - Nico Rosberg's 'beanie bear' mascot which fell from his overalls as he was hugging his team after winning - (so that's him scuppered for Bahrain then). Anyone who buys this may be able to hold it hostage until Nico pays the ransom.

    Bids are open and I wish you all well in trying to secure an antique of the future!
     
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  3. Jen

    Jen Here be dragons. Contributor

    Apologies for the delay in advertising our lots from the Bahrain GP. This has been necessitated by some very exciting developments, which took a while to implement!!

    As before in China, we have tyres and marbles:

    Lot 1 - numerous sets of inters and wets - although Pirelli looked like they may have had cause to rue their parsimony, in the end their gamble paid off.

    Lot 2 - more marbles, bagged and ready to go - soft/medium/sand mix, these could easily be incorporated in a garden feature or playground.

    Some interesting car parts:

    Lot 3 - two slightly more used gearboxes. One from the the Mercedes of Michael Schumacher who does seem to have angered the gods somehow (see the China bargain board!) and the other from the vicar, Pastor Maldonado, and his Williams car. Dare we suggest that Pastor may have more luck if he didn't race on Sundays. Perhaps, Michael should think on too.

    Lot 4 - our first nose cone of the season from the Toro Rosso of Daniel Ricciardo, after an alleged coming together with Heikki Kovalainen, which resulted in a puncture for Heikki. Sadly, we were not able to procure the tyre remnants - but feel we might have had trouble selling them anyway!

    Lewis Hamilton is always good for business, so:

    Lot 5 - This is an outstanding, multi-layered piece for the true F1 connoisseur. Straight from the McLaren garage, we can offer the left rear wheel gun, the offending nuts AND the rear-wheel gunner himself - all of which led to Lewis Hamilton's poor showing in Bahrain. The gunner has taken out a multi-million pound life insurance in the last couple of days, so you could recoup your outlay fairly quickly if you married him off to a family member. As an aside, the chap is an orphan with no known family and, of course, may well have lost his job!

    Lot 6 - astonishingly, we have managed to find the 17 seconds that Martin Brundle suggested Hamilton had lost through botched pit stops and are offering these to the highest bidder. If you are interested, please place you bid in a sealed envelope. We will post, by return, our sealed envelope containing these vital seconds - to protect your investment, we suggest that you DO NOT open this.

    As is Sebatian Vettel:

    Lot 7 - yet more used tissues from Sebastian's waste basket - this time it's tears of joy.

    Lot 8 - the star of the show, and the reason for our tardiness in updating our illustrious board. I am so excited by this and can hardly contain myself!!

    We have managed to procure a plaster cast of Sebastian's "win finger" - in a bar, in a secure hotel, sometime after the race and without his knowledge (he was just waving it around, for Heaven's sake!).

    From which we have recreated a limited edition of 2000 bronze statuettes of the selfsame finger - these are elegantly mounted on a vibrant red, onyx-like plinth and under a glass dome, thus protecting the erect digit. Suitably inscribed with occasion and date, they would grace any collector's vault.

    Only one per household and first come first served - we predict a huge rush on these, so best to get you order in early.

    NB: Nico is ruing the day that he was advised by Michael Schumacher not to give in to ransom demands, and has now re-opened negotiations with our lucky purchaser of his 'beanie bear' mascot. We will see in a couple of weeks time if negotiations have been successful.
     
    Josh, Fenderman, mjo and 1 other person like this.
  4. Jen

    Jen Here be dragons. Contributor

    We were thinking that there was not much up for grabs after the thrilling race that was Barcelona 2012, but have managed to find one or two lots to titillate the collectors' taste buds.

    Lot 1 - as ever, bagged marbles (hard/soft). Not as many as hoped as Hamilton managed his tyres quite well. And am sorry to say that Pirelli are keeping hold of their inters and wets this time round because Canada and Silverstone are on the horizon!

    Lot 2 - yellow flags, waved or otherwise, which seemed to incur penalties for Vettel and Massa - when will they learn?

    Lot 3 - a lovely blue flag which should have given the 'heads up' to Pic that he was in Alonso's way - but there you go!

    Lot 4 - 3 litres of fuel - the very same that was missing from Hamilton's qualifying car.

    Lot 5 - a lot of empty fire extinguishers, oh dear!

    Lot 6 - a very charred cake and cakeboard. Could the number of candles involved have caused the conflagration?

    NB: Nico still hasn't paid the ransom.
     
    Fenderman, teabagyokel and gethinceri like this.
  5. Jen

    Jen Here be dragons. Contributor

    Monaco 2012, what can that offer to the fans?

    Has to be all to do with the venue and the lifestyle - so very little to do with racing is on the board this week.

    Lot 1 - has to be Alonso's helmet auctioned for a children's road safety campaign. Dreamworld are ecstatic to say we have secured this for our buyers and are looking for bids over £100k. This is a sealed bid and will go to the highest bidder - we have already had an intimation that a 'true fan' is willing to pay a quarter of a million. 10% of our sale price will also go to the Alonso's charity!

    Lot 2 - various car parts, from the small, but lethal carbon fibre shard, to nose cones, track rods and red coloured 'marbles'

    Lot 3 - MOJOs, those mystical things that give F1 drivers speed, luck and winning-capability. Vettel seemed to have found his again (but not quite as strong as it was), Button's is still missing and Rosberg has finally paid the ransom for his lucky 'beanie bear'. Massa has found a lesser version of his one-time powerful 'dolly'. Hopefully, this will lead to the uncovering of the true 'mojo' - Rob is helping Felipe in his quest and he rarely falters - makes you wonder why he doesn't drive himself!

    So that leaves the Button mojo up for grabs - yes, Dreamworld acquired it recently and it wasn't cheap (I can't possibly say which team member offered this for sale!) and am hoping that a JB fan is willing and able to cough up to return this mighty gem to the man himself.

    Lot 4 - is best described as detritus. It involves articles and substances ejected from yachts, bistros, restaurants and hotels. We have far too many to list - if there is anything that you are looking for in particular please email and we will try to accommodate. We, also, have had photographers present throughout the weekend and have some 'wicked' photos, should you need them.

    Happy bidding.
     
    Fenderman, gethinceri and teabagyokel like this.
  6. Jen

    Jen Here be dragons. Contributor

    Canada is done and dusted - literally, as there was no rain - and, again, we find it hard to offer much to the F1 collectables market.

    Update - Jenson's mojo was acquired within days, and at a super-inflated price by a self-confessed Hamilton fan. We had received bids from a Martin Whitmarsh (we didn't believe him at the time and so, put his highest bid to one side - dealers have to protect themselves, you know!!). It looks like the mojo will only be returned to JB once there is only a slim chance of him catching LH, which, in turn, will add 'spice' to the closing races of the season.

    We can reveal that the successful bidder heads a consortium of interfering individuals who have more money than sense!

    As ever, we have bagged marbles; used and defunct gearboxes; and Schumie's inoperative DRS device. Please contact us directly, if interested in any of these items.

    But:

    Lot 1 - several small bags of brake dust, predominately from the car of that consummate racer, Pedro de la Rosa.

    Lot 2 - unfilled envelopes from Mario Andretti's appeal for the Italian earthquake victims. An absolute steal at 5 quid a pop - you can extract DNA for the great man himself, as he has handled all of these items - anyone want to clone the maestro?

    Lot 3 - a 3D image of Jacques Villeneuve's head. As we know, Jacques was the 1997 WDC, and more famously, son of the legendary Gilles Villeneuve.

    There was a lot of conjecture on TV, in the paddock and on various forums as to what was 'going on' with his head and what colour it might end up being after a sunny race - this image tells all!

    Lot 4 - resurgent HOPE!! We have managed to produce a process that can can an emotion; took a while but we got there by dint of hard work and extreme ingenuity. Currently, we have three cans at our disposal - that of Lewis Hamilton, Romain Grosjean and Sergio Perez.

    Please don't worry that by buying these you will destroy each racers' chances for Valencia - hope springs eternal and is mustered every weekend. However, we do not recommend opening these cans in the near future.

    Lot 5 - in the same way, we have canned 'fan expectation'. Needless to say that with a rising market and new impetus, we are inundated - an absolute bargain at £25 a pallet - try opening them 'en masse' at the next GP. But please be aware that your and the cans' expectations may not coincide - we haven't managed to tailor behaviour patterns yet, and are working with various 'social networkers' to overcome this.

    Remember all this can be worth something in the future - all goods we sell come with certification and provenance.
     
  7. Jen

    Jen Here be dragons. Contributor

    So, what can we bring from Valencia? Not much, I'm afraid, except for one scoop!!

    Sadly, our canning process has come to a halt at the moment, which is a shame as we had a lot of depression and disappointment in the offing. The upside is that we are working really hard to get this up and running again before it all kicks off at Silverstone.

    There are the usual 'marbles' mixture - although these don't seem to be as prevalent as they were earlier in the season - broken bits of car (alternators aplenty) and, seemingly, defunct mojos and mascots. If any of these are of interest, please get in touch and we will work with you to fulfil your desire.

    Our SCOOP is absolutely biblical.

    We have ten plaster casts of the head of PASTOR MALDONADO - told you it was awesome!

    Pastor had happily agreed earlier in the season to have a life-size replica of his head cast in plaster for posterity. Now seems the right moment to release these to the public - although we had intended to cast these in bronze at a later date. Hey ho!

    Currently, this is a limited edition - all will come with provenance and certification (as usual), but can be adapted to each subscribers order. Let us know how you would like this magnificent offer mounted and we will do our best to fulfil your wishes. We can even make the plaster soft enough to retain any darts thrown!

    POA + VAT and postage.
     
    Fenderman and FB like this.
  8. Jen

    Jen Here be dragons. Contributor

    Three races on and we still have very little to offer. Silverstone, Hockenheim and Hungaroring have come and gone - sadly, there has been very little to pounce on that the paying public might want as a trophy.

    I would like to blame the double-dip recession, but fear it is more fundamental than that - nothing much has happened, that's it in a nutshell and we all know how small they are!

    So, as a company, we too are in shut-down, and hope for better things at the end of the month.

    Mid-season sale

    The only lots left from previous boards, surprisingly, are bags of marbles - various grades, at a knock down price of 20 Euros per bag. So many uses - come on where are all you Parish/County Councils, keep you kids on the swings and seesaw safe - or bag 'em up and use 'em as flood repellents!
     
    FB and Fenderman like this.
  9. Jen

    Jen Here be dragons. Contributor

    A whole year with sod all worth selling - what does that tell you about the world of F1?

    Anyway a few teasers for the buying public:

    Rogro's big blinkers - an absolute steal at £1000 - and there are 3 pairs available. He has downsized to small winglets that only block his vision sometimes. These winglets may or may not be up for grabs once he has mastered peripheral vision. Who knows his mindset might change now he has become a father and no eye-wear will be needed - in which case both blinkers and winglets will increase in value and could rocket if he should make WDC. Always a gamble in the realms of memorabilia.

    Nico R's beanie bear - this is a difficult one as it seems to come and go - kidnapped, ransomed, paid, etc. We at Dreamworld believe that we have it in the can - metaphorically, not literally. However, we have managed to can the 'essence' or power of the little mascot, so if you would like to see Nico doing better please buy one and release the little minx - it will hit home instantly! Of course, Lewis fans won't want that so we have another canister for their delectation.

    Lewis's new-found equilibrium. What a sight to behold and very effective, it would seem. After an intense few hours with himself, Dreamworld managed to extricate some of the regenerated enthusiasm and can it instantly. Fresh from the field, so to speak. Best used to bolster one's own hopes in any given project or, for the true fan, open when LH is having a bad day! Not cheap though, so buyer beware.

    Mark's relief. Having bought this early in the season, we are now inundated and canning 7 days a week! As a consequence, each can is going for peanuts - says it all really - but a nice present for a truly stressed friend or relation!
     
    Fenderman, FB and McZiderRed like this.
  10. Jen

    Jen Here be dragons. Contributor

    A resurgence of interest in Pastor has prompted us to release a second edition of our wonderful and life-like busts of the great but, sadly, misconstrued maestro.

    Place your orders early to ensure a resale value before he is out of the sport!!
     
    teabagyokel, McZiderRed and Fenderman like this.

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