Clip The Apex Presents...

The office at the top of Maranello tower. An Italian man in glasses enters the room, as his boss swivels around in his huge backed chair. SD: Forza Ferrari! LdM: Forza Ferrari! What was it you wanted, Stefano? SD: A few things. First, we've noticed Mike Coughlan hanging around the bins again. LdM: Give him one of our dossiers. SD: That nearly didn't work last time, Luca, are you sure...? LdM: If Williams are on the pace next year, the Place de la Concorde will find out about it. SD: OK, second, Rob is getting irritated by the team strategy. LdM: Tell him we can bring back Badoer if he's not happy. SD: Do we really want to hamper our second car that much? LdM: Quite frankly, Stefano, you need to hamper second cars more. Did you see that...

And welcome one and all to a new season of Formula One racing. The SKY is bright blue and there is not a cloud in it as we look forward to another season of action packed racing. For only the second year in Formula One history, the races are being televised live on television. This inovative feature only began in 2012 but it has come on in giant steps and apparently has now become the number one way for people to watch our wonderful sport. F1 is for everyone, from those who love the Nissan SKYline to those who remember when SKY was in Neigbours. It dosn't matter if you think it's all pie in the SKY. For each race throughout the season there will be post race analysis provided by our ex-F1 driver and motoring correspondent Barty...

ULTRA HOT PRESS EXCLUSIVE ... ROOTERS NEWS GIVEN GREEN LIGHT TO LAUNCH NEW STUFF SECTION ON CTA It is with great humility and some degree of smug satisfaction that Rooters International News Peep's can accept the remarkable honour of opening a new forum on Clip The Apex. Due to popular demand and a shed load of really creative peep's CTA are launching this wonderful new place for free expression and loose tongues. Our top hack, Fenderman, has been hunting down the contributors who will undoubtedly make this another unrivalled success for CTA. McZiderRed said "It's a pleasure to be in collaboration with the luminaries of CTA. For example, I've been looking at Cheddar Gorge Racing for a while now. They are a strong cheese team, which...

Rooters News Well 2011 draws inexorably to a close and the staff in Fenderman's Head are asking themselves the question "Was it all worth it?" "So," thought Tellie Fenderman "how shall we find out?" Rad Booton, lost in deep thought about the future possibilities for a fictional character residing in a rather crowded fictional office, inside a fictional head, inside a real head living somewhere in Kent, Blighty, said "Pardon?" Tellie thought his question again and Rad piped up "Readers Survey!" "Brilliant idea," thought Tellie, "Make it so!" And thus, so it came to pass that, at great personal risk to his feelings, Rad Booton has posted this poll on that illustrious domain known as Clip The Apex - Clip The Apex Presents. Of...

ROOTERSPORT Issue 1 August 2011 Welcome to Rootersport News, a new initiative from our beloved Rooters News Group. We have launched this new comic following the recent disappointing read in the pages of our competition. We thought that it was high time we jumped onto the bandwagon to dish out some predictable drivel and show the tabloids how it should be done. The whole team (that's me backwards with an 'a' and a 't' in it) are so excited we can't possibly tell you how much! So, enjoy the first issue of Rootersport as it may well be the last! ROOTERSPORT NEWS - MONZA PREVIEW Part One - Team Principles (if they have any) or Minion's Interviews - Tellie Fenderman interviews some of them...

Rooters News ......... LATEST RUMOUREPORT .......... Rooters News The rumour mill is running hot with the revelation that the F1 technical working group has just about ironed out all the problems related to the long awaited Constant Radius Tunnel Racing Formula 1 (CRTRF1). Circuit designer, Tilke, has completed the design of the first track to be erected in Trafalgar Square, London, England. This will be the very first state of the art space saving circuit with the entire track on the inside of a 3km circumference tube. The starting grid will form in Pall Mall to enable cars to enter the tube at the requisite speed to enable their aerodynamic devices to "stick" the cars to the track when upside down. The sticking point with drafting...

Deep within the FOM bunker a silver haired billionaire sits in a large leather chair stroking a fluffy white cat. A minion rushes in: Minion: "Mr Ecclestone, Mr Ecclestone, the contributors of Clip the Apex are up in arms about your deal with Sky" BE: "**** 'em, have em shot. Oh, and to really piss them off ban overtaking at the next race" The minion walks out backwards scraping and bowing as the cat purrs loudly.

1 In the Ferrari garage, Fernando stood alone and frightened, unable, or unwilling to move. The realisation that his condition, suffering with the disease LeproFerrarisy, left him susceptible to losing badly. And Fernando was already a bad loser. Being a Ferrari Leper just made things worse. Taking a deep breath, he slowly rotated on the spot so he was facing the door to the Ferrari garage and slowly moved his left foot forward. As he tried to move his right foot, he lost his balance and fell head-first to the floor, bashing his head on ... on on on on ~~~~ Bright light… Blinding bright light. Painful bright light. Eyelids flicker. “Are you hurt? Are you awake?” Fernando attempted to open his eyes, slowly. The light was...

A smartly dressed Danica Patrick enters and office room and takes a seat in front of a desk. Sat at the desk are Jean Todt, Bernie Ecclestone and Flavio Briatorie. Flavio is sit back from the others slightly, wearing sunglasses and smoking a cigarette. JT: Miss Patrick. Thank you for coming. DP: How could I resist. Mr Briatorie here tells me he has some kind of job he'd like me to do for him BE: I'm sure he has! *the three behind the desk snigger like school boys* JT: Let me cut to the chase Miss Patrick, I know you have been over at the NASCAR bureua but have you heard of a project called 'The F1 Files' DP: I have heard the name yes. BE: and your understanding of it? *Flavio lights another cigarette* DP: My understand...

In this thread I am going to post art work that I have drawn and tried to capture the lighter side of Formula One and other motorsport. My goal is to provide a humorous take on current and past events. My inspiration comes from the great Jim Bamber. His art style has always been a great source of joy for myself. I hope you enjoy the comic. If you have any suggestions or requests for a certain story please send me a private message to my inbox.

I've been musing on the point of position - not on the track - but in one's own environment. I've discovered that if I sit in my 'usual' chair in the living room, which happens to be next to the TV, the position becomes what my children have dubbed the 'mad chair' and a whole tirade usually ensues. This seems to engulf all who sit there, even my kids when they beat me to it. Whereas, if I move further back into the room and have a different vista (i.e. I can see out of the window) I adopt a far less combative demeanour. As I have never liked having my back against a wall and am vaguely claustrophobic, I wondered if this was the answer. It's not just aggression that changes depending on what part of a room that one has parked one's...

The Odd Couple The off-season had been long, the new F1 season seemed to never arrive… There were changes in the F1 regulations, changes in the cars. There was also changes in the driver line-ups. There were also changes in the “Clip the Apex Presents…” blogs. As evidenced in the “Fernando Alonso’s Extraneous Adventures” blog… --- --- --- --- Fernando tried to settle Perky into his new home but, being an excitable pig, this was not an easy thing to do. Normally Perky’s stomach was predictable, but ever since the move from Maranello Tower, Fernando had realised there was a problem. “Perky, there really is no need to worry. Uncle Kimi is a very nice chap”; Fernando said in a reassuring tone. “Oink…”; said Perky, sounding...