The Office of the Mayor of London, there's a knock at the door: SK: Enter, in a non-binary vegan manner Not a minion: My equal, perhaps lesser, there has been an incident involving an oppressed minority on the other side of the world SK: Heavens, err, no, skyland. Oh crap, Jannah. Oh bollocks, I mean non-fgm sexual organs. Arse, did I mention sex? Non- binary expression of surprise including the nirvana of your chosen afterlife! To the Offence on Behalf of Others Cave! SK and the Not a Minion make there way down the rainbow painted corridor, past the multi and inter-sex toilets to the OBO Cave. Various minorities are seated, although there is no requirement for them to sit as they are equally allowed to stand if they prefer. SK: My gender nonspecific people and oppressed minorities, there has been an incident somewhere else in the world which has no impact on us but it is our job, nay mission, to over react to any potential non-threat on the behalf of others. Please collect up your religious iconography and make your way to the front of building where I have called a pop-up press conference to express concern for all non-white, non-christian people of London. As the OBO team make their way to front of the building anyone seen with a crucifix or star of David is dragged to one side and locked in the "reprogramming suite". Outside of Caitlyn Jenner towers, next to the statue of Peter Tatchell the Redeemer, SK begins speaking: SK: People of the World Not a Minion: Whispers - not yet my lesser, you are only Mayor of London at this time SK: Apologies. People of London, there exist, 12,000 miles away, a threat to our way of life to which we must over react. I have taken it upon myself to take police officers away from their job of investigating robberies and stabbings and place them in front of buildings where they will provide excellent photo opportunities for all proper left wing thinking members of the London assembly. I would like to apologies for the fact that many of these police officers will be white and have clearly defined sexuality. We are looking to deprogramme as many as we can and have a clear policy to encourage their transition to, at least, inter-sex as soon as possible. For those of you confused by how they speak this is a language called English which, at the present time, is the preferred tongue of many in this city. We are, of course, looking to dilute this affront to all of us as quickly as we can and there are flights of refugees landing at various airports as we speak. I thank you all for coming here today to listen to me and would like to assure you a translation in to Njerep and Niki will be available within the hour. Non-denominational blessings be upon you all unless, of course, you are a white Christian or Jewish male. SK out. The group return to Caitlyn Jenner Towers to discuss the renaming opportunities for other London landmarks and thoroughfares to expand their message of love and diversity as thousands sleep rough on the streets and gangs roam around selling drugs and stabbing children.