🤣 Have you heard the one about...

olegg

Race Winner
Dolphins are smart and kind...
This is told by those people who was pushed by dolphins to the shore.
Unfortunately the people was pushed by dolphins out of the shore couldn't confirm it...
 

Brogan

🦶 Leg end
Staff member
The ten best jokes from this year's Edinburgh Fringe festival.

  • "I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have florets" - Olaf Falafel
  • "Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy" - Richard Stott
  • "What's driving Brexit? From here it looks like it's probably the Duke of Edinburgh" - Milton Jones
  • "A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, 'Yes, of course. - That's 20 cows'" - Jake Lambert
  • "A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it" - Ross Smith
  • "Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It's the reason I get up in the morning" - Ross Smith
  • "I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I'm really struggling to get out of it" - Adele Cliff
  • "After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging - Richard Pulsford
  • "To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian" - Mark Simmons
  • "I've got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad's contacts" - Ivo Graham
 

Angel

🧸 Smile, it might never happen.
Contributor
A guy walks into a redneck bar in Alabama and orders a white wine.

All the hillbillies sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see some pitiful Yankee from the north.

The bartender says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?"

The guy says, "No, I'm from Canada ."

The bartender says, "What do you do in Canada ?"

The guy says, "I'm a taxidermist.."

The bartender says, "A taxidermist? What in tarnation is a taxidermist? Do you drive a taxi?"

"No, a taxidermist doesn't drive a taxi. I mount animals."

The bartender grins and hollers, "It's ok boys. He's one of us."
 

F1Brits_90

Race Winner
gary barlow went to the doctors last week, said "i think im suffering from premature ejactulation"

Doctor "why do think this"

Gary says "well it only takes a minute"
 

Angel

🧸 Smile, it might never happen.
Contributor
The Power of a Badge . . . . .

DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas , and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there," as he points out the location.

The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish . . . . On any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"

The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull . . . . .

With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs . . . . .


"Your badge. Show him your BADGE!"
 
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