Discussion in 'Gravel Trap' started by Hamberg, Jan 10, 2015.

  1. FB

    FB Not my cup of cake Valued Member

    Featured Threads:
    Fantasy F1 Profile:
    FF1 Profile
    Fantasy F1 Team-mate:
    FF1 Team-mate
    Fantasy F1 Rival:
    FF1 Rival
    The Office of the Mayor of London, there's a knock at the door:

    SK: Enter, in a non-binary vegan manner
    Not a minion: My equal, perhaps lesser, there has been an incident involving an oppressed minority on the other side of the world
    SK: Heavens, err, no, skyland. Oh crap, Jannah. Oh bollocks, I mean non-fgm sexual organs. Arse, did I mention sex? Non- binary expression of surprise including the nirvana of your chosen afterlife! To the Offence on Behalf of Others Cave!

    SK and the Not a Minion make there way down the rainbow painted corridor, past the multi and inter-sex toilets to the OBO Cave. Various minorities are seated, although there is no requirement for them to sit as they are equally allowed to stand if they prefer.

    SK: My gender nonspecific people and oppressed minorities, there has been an incident somewhere else in the world which has no impact on us but it is our job, nay mission, to over react to any potential non-threat on the behalf of others. Please collect up your religious iconography and make your way to the front of building where I have called a pop-up press conference to express concern for all non-white, non-christian people of London.

    As the OBO team make their way to front of the building anyone seen with a crucifix or star of David is dragged to one side and locked in the "reprogramming suite".

    Outside of Caitlyn Jenner towers, next to the statue of Peter Tatchell the Redeemer, SK begins speaking:

    SK: People of the World
    Not a Minion: Whispers - not yet my lesser, you are only Mayor of London at this time
    SK: Apologies. People of London, there exist, 12,000 miles away, a threat to our way of life to which we must over react. I have taken it upon myself to take police officers away from their job of investigating robberies and stabbings and place them in front of buildings where they will provide excellent photo opportunities for all proper left wing thinking members of the London assembly.

    I would like to apologies for the fact that many of these police officers will be white and have clearly defined sexuality. We are looking to deprogramme as many as we can and have a clear policy to encourage their transition to, at least, inter-sex as soon as possible.

    For those of you confused by how they speak this is a language called English which, at the present time, is the preferred tongue of many in this city. We are, of course, looking to dilute this affront to all of us as quickly as we can and there are flights of refugees landing at various airports as we speak.

    I thank you all for coming here today to listen to me and would like to assure you a translation in to Njerep and Niki will be available within the hour.

    Non-denominational blessings be upon you all unless, of course, you are a white Christian or Jewish male. SK out.

    The group return to Caitlyn Jenner Towers to discuss the renaming opportunities for other London landmarks and thoroughfares to expand their message of love and diversity as thousands sleep rough on the streets and gangs roam around selling drugs and stabbing children.
    Andyoak and Dartman like this.
  2. Google AdSense Guest Advertisement

    to remove all adverts.
  3. cider_and_toast

    cider_and_toast Exulted Lord High Moderator of the Apex Staff Member Premium Contributor

    Featured Threads:
    That would credit Kahn with actually caring about something regardless of how shallow.

    I see it more as Richard III by Shakespeare.

    Act III - Act III, Scene 7
    SCENE VII. London. Court of Baynard's Castle.

    What, tongueless blocks were they! would they not speak?
    Will not the mayor, then, and his brethren, come?

    The mayor is here at hand. Intend some fear;
    Be not you spoke with but by mighty suit:
    And look you get a prayer-book in your hand,
    And stand between two churchmen, good my lord;
    For on that ground I'll make a holy descant:
    And be not easily won to our requests;
    Play the maid's part,--still answer nay, and take it.

    I go; and if you plead as well for them
    As I can say nay to thee for myself,
    No doubt we bring it to a happy issue.

    Clever man that Shakespeare fellow.
    FB and Andyoak like this.
  4. Angel

    Angel Pole Sitter Supporter

    Featured Threads:
    Terrorism is awful wherever it happens and I don't know why but it seems oddly more shocking that it happened in New Zealand. I guess it's because you don't hear of bad things like that happening there usually do you?

    This world can be horrible can't it? Sorry, I should rephrase that, some of the people in this world can be just vile can't they?
    cider_and_toast likes this.

Share This

  1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use it, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice