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Random, and most likely untrue, facts about badgers

Discussion in 'Gravel Trap' started by cider_and_toast, Feb 16, 2011.

  1. cider_and_toast

    cider_and_toast Everything in moderation Staff Member Premium Contributor

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    The purpose of this thread? To collect and post all your badger related facts and remember, never let the truth get in the way of a good fact.

    Try these facts to get you started.

    1) Badgers do not appear on price comparison sites

    2) Until 1972 the Queen would make her speech at the state opening of parliament with a badger tied to her right leg

    3) Badgers are said to believe it is butter

    Anyone know anymore?
     
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  3. Brogan

    Brogan Running Man Staff Member

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    4) If a badger falls from a height, it won't land on its feet.
     
  4. Speshal

    Speshal Champion Elect Valued Member

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    5) Badgers are allergic to tonic water

    6) The honey badger is a double hard bastard.

     
  5. FB

    FB Not my cup of cake Valued Member

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    7) Badgers sleep so deeply they often lie by the side of main roads and even passing traffic doesn't wake them

    8) Hitler's moustache was actually made of Badger hair
     
  6. cider_and_toast

    cider_and_toast Everything in moderation Staff Member Premium Contributor

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    Many years ago a sport was played at Wimbledon that involved hitting a ball around while stamping on a badgers home and smoking as many cigarettes as possible. This still survives in part today at the end of each round of tennis when the umpire shouts "Game. Set and Match"
     
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  7. FB

    FB Not my cup of cake Valued Member

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    Can we a "groan" option as well as like?
     
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  8. AlexM

    AlexM Points Scorer Contributor

    9) Badgers feel that cider and toast is not a good combination

    10) The smell emitted from a Stink Badger is not very nice

    11) Mushrooms and a snake may randomly appear when a Badger is dancing

     
  9. teabagyokel

    teabagyokel In the zone. Valued Member

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    I wondered if that vid would come up!
     
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  10. Jen

    Jen Here be dragons. Contributor

    12) Badgers can outrun Usain Bolt, but prefer not. If asked why not, they always cite "personal reasons".

    13) Despite popular misconceptions, badgers are very clean animals and brush their teeth at least once a day.

    14) Badgers can climb trees - their favourites are oaks.
     
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  11. FB

    FB Not my cup of cake Valued Member

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    15) No badger has ever resigned as a Member of the Badger Parliament (MBP) to spend more time with their family

    16) Badgers despise Dickie Davis

    [​IMG]
     
  12. Jen

    Jen Here be dragons. Contributor

    17) There was a small division of badger soldiers during the English Civil war. Their remit was to undermine opposing castles by digging under the foundations at night. They were so good at their work that the unit died en masse when a castle collapsed above them :(

    18) Badgers are expert jugglers and it is rumoured that their very finest juggler appeared at the London Palladium in the '20s - although this can not be corroborated
     
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  13. Grizzly

    Grizzly Bear Contributor

    19) Experience shows that if you hit one on a motorbike, you come off.
     
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  14. FB

    FB Not my cup of cake Valued Member

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    74) On his death bed George V is alleged to have said "Badger Bognor" when asked if he wanted to visit the seasde town to recuperate

    LXVVII) Badgers despise mashed potato
     
  15. FB

    FB Not my cup of cake Valued Member

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    Unlike pheasants, which explode. Although bits of them cooking on the radiator afterwards is not a pleasant aroma...
     
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  16. Galahad

    Galahad Not a Moderator Valued Member

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    86) The saxophone solo on Gerry Rafferty's popular hit "Baker Street" was played by a badger.
     
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  17. Grizzly

    Grizzly Bear Contributor

    Unlike rabbits, which flick up, go round the wheel and wedge themselves in the swing-arm locking the rear wheel. Although pulling bits of them out with your hands to clear the wheel is not a pleasant experience.
     
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  18. Brogan

    Brogan Running Man Staff Member

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    Badgers have been known to badger other badgers who wear badges.
     
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  19. Jen

    Jen Here be dragons. Contributor

    How do you stop a badger digging in your garden? Why, hide his spade of course! [​IMG]
     
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  20. cider_and_toast

    cider_and_toast Everything in moderation Staff Member Premium Contributor

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    The large Hadron Collider was first developed to accelerate two badgers to near light speed and then smash them together in order to see if they would mate.

    Saddam Hussein was rumoured to have a Badger that could be deployed in 45 minutes. Unfortunately it turned out to be a short range Badger and not the longer range Super Badger he was supposed to have.

    Ian Fleming's original stories were not about James Bond but James the Badger, they were entitled, Dr Badger, From Badger with love, Gold Badger, You only badger twice, Thunder Badger, Diamonds are for Badgers, On her majesties secret Badger, Live and let Badger, The man with the golden Badger, Moon Badger, The Badger Who loved me, For your Badgers only, Never say Badger again, Octobadger, A view to a Badger, The living Badger, License to Badger, Badgereye, Tommorow never Badgers, The Badger is not enough, Die another Badger,Badger Royale and the Quantam of Badgers.
     
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  21. Brogan

    Brogan Running Man Staff Member

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    All of the Spice Girls songs were actually sung by a badger quintet from Pontefract.
     
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