Have you heard the one about...

Discussion in 'Gravel Trap' started by Brogan, Jul 10, 2008.

  1. cider_and_toast

    cider_and_toast Exulted Lord High Moderator of the Apex Staff Member Premium Contributor

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    Good move Brogan.

    I'd completely forgotten this thread.
     
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  3. Angel

    Angel Happy to be here. Contributor

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    Thanks Brogan
    Sorry I didn't find this thread, though to be honest I was looking for the word 'Joke' which is probably why I missed this one :embarrassed:

    Logic is a systematic method for getting the wrong conclusion with confidence.
    Statistics is a systematic method for getting the wrong conclusion with 95% confidence.
     
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  4. Angel

    Angel Happy to be here. Contributor

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    Why can't your nose be twelve inches long?

    Because then it would be a foot
     
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  5. Angel

    Angel Happy to be here. Contributor

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    An old couple are sat in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, "I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?" The husband replies, "First of all, replace the batteries in your hearing aid!"
     
  6. cider_and_toast

    cider_and_toast Exulted Lord High Moderator of the Apex Staff Member Premium Contributor

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    I was going to post a joke about time travel but you guys and girls all said you hated it.
     
  7. Angel

    Angel Happy to be here. Contributor

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    Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
    In case he got a hole in one.

    or

    If at first you don't succeed, skydiving may not be for you ;)
     
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  8. Angel

    Angel Happy to be here. Contributor

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    Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
    A: You can see right through them.
     
  9. Izumi

    Izumi Points Scorer

    A diving instructor speaks to a group of novice divers: I know you are worried, you are scared, but I assure you that at this airport only 1 diver gets killed out of 500. You however should not worry, because it's only 7 of you in this dive.
     
  10. F1Brits_90

    F1Brits_90 Race Winner

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    There was 1 time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me "oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys". Ok, there are two things wrong with that. 1st of all who are these other guys?, & 2nd of all if it's happening to more than 1 of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?

    My grandfather is always saying that in the old days people could leave their back doors open. Which is probably why his submarine sank.

    My mother made us eat all sorts of vitamins and supplements, until one day I nearly choked on part of The Sunday Times.

    I recently bought the box set of Doctor Who and watched it back to back. Unfortunately, I wasn’t the one facing the TV!
     
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  11. F1Brits_90

    F1Brits_90 Race Winner

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    enhanced-13081-1391015046-2.jpg original-28854-1391014855-21.jpg original-1377-1391077435-24.jpg
     
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  12. Brogan

    Brogan Leg end Staff Member

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    Did you hear about the Australian rock guitarist who kept playing the same chords over and over?

    He was diagnosed ACDC.
     
    gethinceri, F1Brits_90 and Angel like this.
  13. Bill Boddy

    Bill Boddy Professional layabout Premium Contributor

    Edna was going home from church when she met her friend.

    Edna: "We had a new preacher today, really good, bawls like a bull".
    Elsie: "Has he?"
     
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  14. Angel

    Angel Happy to be here. Contributor

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    What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
    It gets toad away.



    Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
    A: "Put it on my bill."
     
  15. F1Brits_90

    F1Brits_90 Race Winner

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    let's just i say i know another version of that LOL
     
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