Have you heard the one about...

Discussion in 'Gravel Trap' started by Brogan, Jul 10, 2008.

  1. Greenlantern101

    Greenlantern101 Super Hero And All Round Good Guy Contributor

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    sorry

    screenshot.62.jpg
     
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  3. Rutherford

    Rutherford Podium Finisher

    A piece of string walks in to a bar and asks for a Beer.

    The barman says: "I'm sorry we don't serve pieces of string".

    So the piece of string walks outside, ruffles himself up, walks back into the bar and says: "Can I have a Beer please".

    The barman replies: "Aren't you that piece of string I just asked to leave".

    To which the piece of string replies: "No, I'm a frayed knot".
     
    Titch, Olivier, Jos the Boss and 3 others like this.
  4. Greenlantern101

    Greenlantern101 Super Hero And All Round Good Guy Contributor

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    A man walks into a hardware store and picks up a can of fly spray.

    He turns to the assistant and asks 'is this good for wasps?'

    'No it ****ing kills them' was the reply.
     
    teabagyokel and Bill Boddy like this.
  5. Rutherford

    Rutherford Podium Finisher

    A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting in a street café watching people entering and leaving the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people entering the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three people leaving the house. The physicist says, "The measurement wasn't accurate." The biologist says, "They must have reproduced." The mathematician says, "If one more person enters the house then it will be empty.
     
    Galahad, FB, gethinceri and 1 other person like this.
  6. Rutherford

    Rutherford Podium Finisher

    I'm no racist, I don't discriminate, I hate everyone equally.
     
  7. Rutherford

    Rutherford Podium Finisher

    Is it too early? This is Frankie Boyle or Jimmy Carr kind of stuff.

    [​IMG]
     
  8. gethinceri

    gethinceri Daniil Kvyat Fan. Alfa Romeo Fan. Contributor

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    Yet neither of them were stupid enough to have said it.
    No, not Boyle or Carr kind of stuff at all.
     
    cider_and_toast likes this.
  9. Rutherford

    Rutherford Podium Finisher

    It is that sort of joke, they have plenty on World Trade Center attacks and others.
     
  10. The Pits

    The Pits Harumph. Again. Valued Member

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    I think that the best advice is in the guys name.
     
    Titch likes this.
  11. Bill Boddy

    Bill Boddy Professional layabout Premium Contributor

    But apart from that did you enjoy your trip to Houston Mrs Kennedy?
     
  12. Greenlantern101

    Greenlantern101 Super Hero And All Round Good Guy Contributor

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    My wife left me because I'm too insecure.
    ....




    No wait, she's back. She just went to make a cup of tea.
     
  13. FB

    FB Not my cup of cake Valued Member

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    For any foreign visitors to CTA

    Translation.jpg
     
  14. Olivier

    Olivier Race Winner

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    Very interesting FB LOL
     
  15. Bushi

    Bushi Pole Sitter

    Think am British minded. :D
     
  16. Rutherford

    Rutherford Podium Finisher

    Three men in a boat with four cigarettes, but no way to light them. What do they do?

    Throw one cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
     
  17. FB

    FB Not my cup of cake Valued Member

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    :tumbleweed:
     
  18. cousinDave

    cousinDave Points Scorer

    A police officer came to my farm yesterday. He told me he had to inspect the premises and make sure I'm not growing Marijuana.
    I said, " Okay fine, but don't go in that field over there. "
    This made the officer very angry and he answered me and said, " Sir, I have permission from the government to search the entire farm! The officer removed his wallet, arrogantly shoved his badge in my face and said: " You see this badge? It allows me to go wherever I want and do what I want! Do I make myself clear? "
    I did not object and returned to my work. Soon after, I heard the policeman screaming and calling for help. I looked up and saw my bull chasing him around the field.
    So I dropped my tools ran over to the fence and yelled:
    "Your badge! Show him your badge!..."
     
  19. F1Brits_90

    F1Brits_90 Race Winner

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    i was inside a woman yesterday. fully recommend statue of liberty as a dayout
     
  20. RasputinLives

    RasputinLives Not dead Contributor

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    Two monkies in a bath.

    One says "Ooo Ahhh Ooo Ahhh!"

    The other says "put some cold in then"
     
    F1Brits_90 and gethinceri like this.
  21. gethinceri

    gethinceri Daniil Kvyat Fan. Alfa Romeo Fan. Contributor

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    ^my new favourite joke.
     

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