http://cliptheapex.com/attachments/CTA-png.6219/ APEX SPORT - QUALIFYING With Practice results now considered to be entirely meaningless, Apex Sport have turned up in Zhangzhou in time for qualifying. And, rumours our intrepid reporters were got lost on the roads leading into Zhangzhou have been scotched entirely. Q1 The faster cars were out quicker on the "Toad" tyres, except of course for McLaren's home boy Jack E. Chan. Chan was sent out by McLaren on regular dry tyres they'd somehow accidentally brought from Iran, thus his car sank on the way into the water section on the first lap. A red flag was produced, Chan was uninjured but he starts the race last. Kakari and Ecossais of HRT managed to set a time good enough to join them on the grid, thus assuring a full grid will go ahead. Yamamoto of Flabio Moda was also unable to qualify, while Sheikh Al-Khalifa managed to drive so slowly on the water section he drifted out to sea, colliding with his own gigantic yacht. Fortunately, he'd already set a fast enough time to get on the grid. It was not surprising to see Rolando Piquet eliminated, but his brother's elimination was a shock for a confident Ferrari, especially behind the Hesketh. So the last place was between the two McDonalds cars, and the faster ecological disaster on circuit turned out to be driven by Jacqui Bolt, who got through to Q2. OUT: 19: Richards, 20: R. Piquet, 21: N. Piquet, 22: Al-Khalifa, 23: Yamamoto, 24: Ecossais, 25: Kakari, 26: Chan (stewards found Chan OK to race) Q2 Last week's winner van der Liegen leapt out of his car to go for a comfort break after Q1, but he forgot that he needed to return to complete Q2. Therefore, he will start 18th having not set a three-lap-run-time. Bolt was predictably just going through the motions, despite the protests of anyone who remembered the wildlife which lived in the Jiulong River before McDonald's turned up. Flabio Moda also did not expect to get this far and it was Karamalitenko who finished second-last of the finishers. Durham's chauffeur's lung capacity was sufficient for him to set an impressive time, alas not good enough to beat Akuritaxpe in the Waltz, who was nowhere near his team-mate, used to driving on water after being brought up in Wales. The last place in Q3 was fought between Button, the two Always girls and O'Reilly. The Irishman pounded around two brilliant laps, nearly lost it at the last corner on lap 3 but edged out Button. Senna and Washington were distracted by their proximity and their attempts to blow kisses at each other when they passed ruined their middle laps. OUT: 11: Button, 12: Senna, 13: Washington, 14: Akuritaxpe, 15: Durham, 16: Karamalitenko, 17: Bolt, 18: van der Liegen Q3 The first two minute eliminator predictably saw all cars out running. Unfortunately, Larsson lost drive on the main straight as the alun key required for his drive train had not been provided. This meant a red flag, meaning they just had enough time to get around second lap and eliminate Shavnov. OUT: 9: Shavnov, 10: Larsson Jones "afternoons in Cardiff" training was insufficient for the second eliminator as cars with much quicker dry times were able to outpace him. Ontário's temporal issues were not over, as went to the pits believing the session was over, having apparently completed Q3. Causality be damned, he qualifies in 8th. OUT: 7: Jones, 8: Ontário Perfectelli was struggling with rear grip and set a slow lap time due to facing backwards throughout most of it. Lakepi was edged out of the next session by Dzevsky. OUT: 5: Lakepi, 6: Perfectelli O'Reilly's wonderful progress was stopped on his lap when he was blocked by the quick-moving Reichsmuller and he lost his rag and spun into the wall. Dzevsky, watching behind, was forced to brake hard and was collected by O'Reilly, causing a red flag and a Reichsmuller/Alonso show-down. OUT: 3: O'Reilly 4: Dzevsky Alonso was quickest though, those 9 months non-existant testing were to pay dividends. The experience of Reichsmuller was not enough and he was 2 tenths down. Alonso could barely remember his win a mere four weeks ago from our perspective, but there were no signs of rustiness. 1: Alonso, 2: Reichsmuller Well, Reichsmuller will be heading to the stewards and so will O'Reilly. Stay tuned to Apex Sport to find out what happens.