WTF! Express Online - World War 3 Watch

Discussion in 'Gravel Trap' started by cider_and_toast, Feb 4, 2019.

  1. cider_and_toast

    cider_and_toast Exulted Lord High Moderator of the Apex Staff Member Premium Contributor

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    Every day at work, while enjoying a cup of Joe and taking a break, usually around 10am, I have a look around the various online news outlets looking at stories and bits and bobs going on in the world.

    Generally speaking, there's one online paper I save until last just because to call it a "news outlet" would be stretching credibility to the maximum.

    If you think the Mail online is bad we'll I can assure you, the Express Online is the Mail level of bad multiplied by 1000.

    You know the sort of Click Crap headlines where every other word is in capital letters because so and so was FUMING at something.

    The most hilarious headlines are the number that start with World War 3. Nothing like a good bit of scare mongering of the highest order.

    So, just for giggles, I'm going to post the headlines that mention WW3 every time they're published for a few weeks just to see how many they put out.

    04/02/19

    World War 3 Alert: EU 'GRAVELY Concerned' at Iran Missile launches

    World War 3 Fears: Russia threatens MISSILE RETALIATION against US after treaty exit

    I wonder what tomorrow will bring?
     
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  3. cider_and_toast

    cider_and_toast Exulted Lord High Moderator of the Apex Staff Member Premium Contributor

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    Today's warning:

    05/02/19

    World War 3: North Korea STOCKPILING nuclear arsenal despite Kim-Trump meeting

    World War 3 WARNING: Expert reveals SHOCK reason why 'conflict is more likely than ever'

    Honestly, these are genuine headlines :facepalm:
     
  4. Titch

    Titch Champion Elect Premium Contributor

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    The Express always was a pile of crap.
    :D
     
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  5. Bill Boddy

    Bill Boddy Professional layabout Premium Contributor

    The weather promised to us by the Express and Star means that having had 57 weeks of drought last year we are currently in six months of 18 feet high drifts of snow now. The readers letters are the best part (even better than their polls), some of them seem to actually take the content seriously.

    On Have I Got News For You one time the gave out the short list of headline news about the EU from the the Mail Express and Star starting with the straight bananas, it was impressively long.
     
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  6. cider_and_toast

    cider_and_toast Exulted Lord High Moderator of the Apex Staff Member Premium Contributor

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    Wow, 3 headlines today including one that makes it seem like World War Three has already happened and another that it could be sparked off by Venezuela.

    Remember, all of these headlines are as written on the website.

    06/02/19

    World War 3: US to OUTSPEND Russia and China on nukes - 'we will SURPASS everyone'

    WW3 Britain 'sparked ARMAGGEDON' by running SECRET nuclear weapons tests claim veteran

    WW3 fears: Venezuela warns US of IRREPARABLE LOSSES over military intervention
     
  7. Angel

    Angel Happy to be here. Contributor

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    Oh I love the Express headlines on weather Bill Boddy. There is usually a grain of truth to it but massively over egged to give us a headline that we never believe anyway so what's the point?

    This WW3 stuff is insane, what is wrong with them? When they start things like this you actually wonder if someone is almost hoping it will happen!
     
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  8. cider_and_toast

    cider_and_toast Exulted Lord High Moderator of the Apex Staff Member Premium Contributor

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    And we haven't even made it through the day and there's a 4th World War Headline.

    World War 3: North Korea STILL developing NUCLEAR WEAPONS in hidden airports - UN Warning
     
  9. cider_and_toast

    cider_and_toast Exulted Lord High Moderator of the Apex Staff Member Premium Contributor

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    That's 8 headlines warning of impending doom in just 3 days.

    Absolutely bonkers :dizzy:
     
  10. Titch

    Titch Champion Elect Premium Contributor

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    :o Hidden airports!!!
     
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  11. cider_and_toast

    cider_and_toast Exulted Lord High Moderator of the Apex Staff Member Premium Contributor

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    Well blow me sideways, the day is not yet done and we have our 5th warning of World War 3 in one day. They are taking the mickey surely??

    Russia tests upgraded ICBM just DAYS after quitting nuclear pact - 'WW3 threat INCREASED'

    :facepalm:
     
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  12. Titch

    Titch Champion Elect Premium Contributor

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    America tomorrow then.
     
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  13. cider_and_toast

    cider_and_toast Exulted Lord High Moderator of the Apex Staff Member Premium Contributor

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    I haven't got enough energy left to type the 5 fresh warnings of World War Three today.

    Yes, 5 more. That's FIVE new warnings on top of yesterday's 5.

    Of those however, by far my favourite is this one:

    World War 3: 'Russian witch coven' forms 'Circle of POWER' to CURSE Putin's ENEMIES

    Yes, I think the writers at the Express Online have given up sniffing glue and have moved on to crystal meth laced with LSD.
     
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  14. Titch

    Titch Champion Elect Premium Contributor

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    Is there a special school that Express writers go to ? Maybe on a hidden airport somewhere in some deep dark bunker.
     
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  15. Angel

    Angel Happy to be here. Contributor

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    They're not doing it around Salisbury cathedral are they? Just a thought ;)

    It'll be voodoo next :rolleyes:
     
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  16. cider_and_toast

    cider_and_toast Exulted Lord High Moderator of the Apex Staff Member Premium Contributor

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    OMG ! ! !

    It's been the best part of a whole day and there have been no new WW3 headlines on the Express on line site.

    Headlines about Brexit, the weather, Cancer and impending doom from asteroids and other space objects, all present and correct however no news updates on World War 3.

    The monitoring experiment has reached a natural conclusion.
     
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