"Brand" - The cartoon once known as 'Tooned'

Discussion in 'Clip The Apex Presents...' started by cider_and_toast, Oct 15, 2012.

  1. cider_and_toast

    cider_and_toast Everything in moderation Staff Member Premium Contributor

    Featured Threads:
    26
    Ross Brawn is sitting at his desk at the MGP head office when the special silver phone rings on his desk:


    Ross: “Hello, Ross speaking.”

    Screen splits to show caller:

    Lewis: “Yo Mr Brawn, owz it hanging?”

    Ross: “Oh hello Lewis, Fine thanks. What can I do for you?”

    Lewis: “Yo Mr Brawn, it’s about the company nickname ‘Silver Arrows’, Lewis don’t like it”

    Ross: “And what exactly don’t you like about it Lewis?”

    Lewis: “Well Lewis was watchin that Olympics fing and Silver is for second place man and that ain’t Lewis. Know what Lewis is saying? And Arrows, well they is never winning a Grand Prix and Lewis is a Winner”

    Ross: “So what do you suggest we call it?”

    Lewis: “Well Lewis was thinking we calls it ‘Golden Lewis’”

    Ross: “I see, well let me run that by the board and I’ll get back to you. While I’ve got you on the phone, our engineers need some information to help get next years car design off the ground. Firstly, what would you say was your driving position”

    Lewis: “Lewis driving position is from Pole to flag in first man, that’s why you signed Lewis”

    Ross: “Ok, well how about Tyres?”

    Lewis: “Yeah, Lewis needs at least four. One on each corner of the car”

    Ross: “No I meant Tyre wear?”

    Lewis: “Look Mr Brawn, Lewis does classy underwear, sportswear, and the latest technical hardware but Lewis does not do Tyre wear”

    Ross: “Ok, thanks Lewis, I’m sure they’ll work it out”

    Lewis: “Ok Mr Brawn, Lewis is off to update Twitter, Lewis is outta here”

    Ross: “Yeah bye Lewis”

    Ross returns to work Caption – Stay tuned for the next episode of “Brand”
     
  2. Google AdSense Guest Advertisement



    to remove all adverts.
  3. cider_and_toast

    cider_and_toast Everything in moderation Staff Member Premium Contributor

    Featured Threads:
    26
    Brand – Episode Two – “What’s in a name?”

    Ross Brawn is sitting at his desk at the MGP head office when the special silver phone rings on his desk:

    Ross: “Hello, Ross speaking.”

    Screen splits to show caller:

    Lewis: “Yo Mr Brawn, owz it hanging?”

    Ross: “Oh hello Lewis, Fine thanks. What can I do for you this time?”

    Lewis: “Yo Mr Brawn, Lewis has been finking about sumfing. Vettel seems to do well when he names his car so Lewis wants to name his car”

    Ross: “Ok, Lewis, obviously it would have to be something I run by the board and something that wouldn’t damage the Mercedes business image. What have you got in mind?”

    Lewis: “Lewis wants to call it the Puss…..”

    Ross: “No Lewis”

    Lewis: “Ok, well how about the Fan…..’”

    Ross: “No Lewis”

    Lewis: “right, well how about Lewis calling it the Honey Wagon”

    Ross: “Hmmm, well it’s better than the other two but I’m not sure what the board would make of it”

    Lewis: “You da’ man Mr Brawn and Lewis knows you can sell Lewis’ vision to the board”

    Ross: “Well I’ll run your ideas by Mr Lauda first”

    Lewis: “I SAID YOU DA’ MAN MR BRAWN AND LEWIS KNOWS YOU CAN SELL LEWIS’ VISION TO THE BOARD”

    Ross: “No Lewis, I didn’t say run that by me louder I said I would run it by Mr Lauda”

    Lewis: “Lewis doesn’t know who that is”

    Ross: “Yes you do, three time world champion. We’ve hired him as a consultant”

    Lewis: “Sorry Mr Brawn, Lewis doesn’t know F1 history, Lewis makes F1 history”

    Ross: “That’s ok Lewis, he doesn’t know you either. I’ll set up a meeting next week and you can come into the office”

    Lewis: “Ok Mr Brawn, Lewis is off to update his twitter account. Lewis is outta here”

    Stay tuned for the next thrilling episode of Brand
     
    Jos the Boss, Fenderman, mjo and 8 others like this.
  4. cider_and_toast

    cider_and_toast Everything in moderation Staff Member Premium Contributor

    Featured Threads:
    26
    Brand – Episode Three – “Testing Times”

    Ross Brawn is sitting at his desk looking through the situations vacant ads in Autosport when there is a knock at his door:

    Ross: “Come in”

    In strolls Lewis, dressed in his racing overalls:

    Lewis: “Yo Mr Brawn, owz it hanging?”

    Ross: “Oh hello Lewis, Fine thanks. How are you getting on with the car?”

    Lewis: “Not too good Mr Brawn, Lewis parked it in the wall on Day 1 because of some bad brakes. Lewis’ rep took a knock Mr Brawn but Lewis will bounce back”

    Ross: “I’m glad to hear it”

    Just then, the door to the office opens and in walks Niki Lauda

    Niki: “Don’t mind me, I just vant to measure up for ze new curtains”

    Ross: “What new curtains, I haven’t ordered any new curtains?”

    Niki: “Nein, it iz just a precaution in case ve vish to change ze office layout suddenly”

    Ross: “Lewis, have you met our consultant, Mr Lauda”

    Lewis: “VERY PLEASED TO MEET YOU!!”

    Niki: “Vhy are you shouting, I can hear you perfectly vell”

    Lewis: “Really? But Lewis can’t see your e….”

    Ross: “Lewis, don’t be rude. Mr Lauda was lucky to survive a nasty accident and came back to win two more titles”

    Niki: “Ya, and zis iz two more than you, ya”

    Lewis: “Lewis will be winning more championships now that Lewis has his own team and Mr Brawn on Lewis’ side. Ain’t that right Mr Brawn?”

    Ross: “Well, er yes, exactly Lewis, that’s why we hired you”

    Niki: “No it vasn’t it voz because Schumacher retired and Button vasn’t available”

    Lewis: “ha ha, Lewis thinks you are a very funny man Mr Lauda and you and Lewis are going to work well together”

    Ross: “That may be sooner than you think”

    Niki: “Vot did you say?”

    Ross: “Nothing, now Lewis, have you got the schedule for the next test?”

    Lewis: “Yeah, Lewis has the schedule, Monday, take my honey out, Tuesday, cruise for a while, Wednesday call Vettel and tell him Lewis smoked his ass on Top Gear, Thursday, make anonymous phone call to Button, Friday, more action with the honey, Saturday, kick back on twitter”

    Ross: “Mmmm, looks like we have some work to do”

    Stay tuned for the next thrilling episode of Brand
     
  5. cider_and_toast

    cider_and_toast Everything in moderation Staff Member Premium Contributor

    Featured Threads:
    26
    Brand – Episode Four – “Tough at the top”

    Ross Brawn is sitting at his desk trying to read a letter but its very dark. There is a knock at the door:

    Ross: “Come in”

    In strolls Lewis, dressed in his racing overalls:

    Lewis: “Yo Mr Brawn, owz it hanging?”

    Ross: “Oh hello Lewis, Fine thanks. What can I do for you today Lewis?”

    Lewis: “Lewis is very excited Mr Brawn”

    Ross: “Have you found a few tenths in the car?”

    Lewis: “Nope, it’s bigger than that”

    Ross: “You’ve stumbled on an idea even greater than my title winning double diffuser?”

    Lewis: “No Mr Brawn, Lewis is way more excited than that”

    Ross: “My god, you don’t mean…….”

    Lewis: “Yes, exactly! Lewis has just heard that J-Lo will be joining the team as of next year. She is well fit. Lewis knows that having a honey like her onboard will make the team so much better”

    Ross: “Really? I haven’t heard anything about this. I’m going to have to give Niki a ring”

    Lewis: “Before you do that Mr Brawn, Lewis wants to know why you have moved your office into the broom cupboard?”

    Ross: “It’s not the broom cupboard Lewis, it’s a dynamic mind space and Mr Lauda came up with the idea. He thinks it would be better if I isolated myself from the stresses of the team and concentrated on coming up with some new ideas for the future”

    Lewis: “Oh, and Lewis loves the new tartan decoration they are putting up in your old office. Lewis has always had a soft spot for Scotland”

    Ross: “Again, Mr Lauda said that it would also be a golden opportunity to have a re-decoration while I was not using the office. That way, when I go back in, I can have a fresh start. Apparently the Tartan colour is very conducive to good thinking”

    Lewis: “That’s fantastic Mr Brawn. Lewis is going to go and update his twitter account before sending a few spam e-mails to Jenson”

    Ross: “Keep up the good work Lewis”

    Stay tuned for the next thrilling episode of Brand
     
    Jos the Boss, Fenderman, FB and 6 others like this.
  6. cider_and_toast

    cider_and_toast Everything in moderation Staff Member Premium Contributor

    Featured Threads:
    26
    Brand – Episode Five – “The Mighty Pen”

    Ross Brawn is sitting in the back of his newly acquired Mercedes van, brewing tea and his gas camping cooker. There is a knock on the van door.

    Ross: “Come in”

    The door swings open and Lewis pops his head in:

    Lewis: “Yo Mr Brawn, owz it hanging?”

    Ross: “Oh hello Lewis, Fine thanks. Fancy a cup of tea?”

    Lewis: “No thanks Mr Brawn, Lewis is too excited”

    Ross: “I know, the season starts tomorrow. I was only telling Nico this morning that he was set for good finish”

    Lewis: “Lewis knows Mr Brawn, Lewis keeps telling Nico he’s Finnish and he keeps telling Lewis he’s not Finnish, he’s German. Lewis is confused”

    Ross: “I know Lewis, I know”

    Lewis: “Nice wheels by the way, Mr Brawn”

    Ross: “Yeah, I know. MR Lauda thinks that the hustle and bustle of the main hospitality area would be distracting for me so he arranged this Mercedes van. He calls it the thought van and says that it provides everything I need to work on future ideas. Anyway Lewis, what can I do for you?”

    Lewis: “Lewis needs some help Mr Brawn. Lewis is writing a column for the BBC and is stuck for ideas.”

    Ross: “Well, why don’t you write about how hard you have prepared for the season”

    Lewis pulls out his tablet and starts tapping away

    Lewis: “Lewis spent his close season with his honey and chilling with his home boys. Big shout out to team Lewis putting in the hours to build the new car. The honey wagon is ready to cruise”

    Ross: “Well, er, yeah. That’s a start Lewis but why don’t you tell people what you do to prepare for the actual race. How you talk to the engineers and find the perfect set up. Talk through options, things like that.”

    Lewis: “Before the race Lewis talks to Lewis’ main man, the race engineer. This is to make sure that Lewis’ dressing room if fully stocked with special silver Mercedes branded M&Ms. Lewis then talks about set up. Lewis tells his race engineer he likes the car quick. Seriously quick.”

    Ross: “Very illuminating Lewis, I’m sure the BBC website readers will be really pleased.”

    Lewis: “Thanks Mr Brawn. Lewis thinks you’re the best team boss ever. Right, Lewis is off to sneak into the McLaren garage and replace Buttons hair gel with axel grease. Lewis is outta here.”

    Ross: “Keep up the good work Lewis”

    Stay tuned for the next thrilling episode of Brand
     
  7. cider_and_toast

    cider_and_toast Everything in moderation Staff Member Premium Contributor

    Featured Threads:
    26
    Brand - Episode 6 - A passing glance

    It’s been a while but it’s time to catch up on everyone’s favourite F1 cartoon heroes

    Lewis is sat in the Mercedes Technical Thought Bubble and Happy Place (MTTBAHP) feeling a bit down. The phone rings on his desk…..

    Lewis: Yo, Lewis equal number one speaking

    Toto: Lewis, Toto, I’ve got a request for you. Nico has gone down to the cafeteria and is on his way back up with two cups of coffee and two chicken ceaser wraps, any chance you can nip down and hold the doors open for him?

    Lewis: Yes sir, Lewis will do that because Lewis is a team player

    Toto: Thanks Lewis, oh and if you want a cup you can always pop back down afterwards and get yourself one. Tell the girls to put it on my tab.

    Lewis: Yo Toto, Lewis is very grateful for your support

    Lewis makes his way toward the cafeteria

    Nico: Ah Lewis finally, I’ve been waiting ages for you to get here

    Lewis: Well Lewis is here now

    Nico: It’s good of you to come down and hold the door open, you know I’m on a different lunch strategy and I need to maximise my time with Toto. I’ll do the same for you

    Lewis: No worries Lewis's BFF*. Lewis knows that

    Nico goes on his way while Lewis heads toward the cafeteria. Just then, his mobile phone rings

    Lewis: Yo, you’ve reached Lewis’s mobile, talk to Lewis

    Toto: Lewis, it’s Toto again, Niki and Paddy want a coffee as well. Be a good chap and bring them back up with you.

    Lewis: No problem, Lewis is on the case!

    Returning from the cafeteria, Lewis arrives at the double doors. For some reason the corridor is blocked by a flight case with the words “property of N.Rosberg” stamped on it. Carefully, Lewis balances the hot coffee while reaching for his mobile:

    Lewis: Toto, Lewis, Nico seems to have left a case in the corridor and Lewis can’t get through the doors. Can you send him down to give Lewis a hand to move it

    Toto: Ah, sorry Lewis, could you sort it out yourself, Nico tells me it was an accident and he didn’t mean to leave his case there but he’s a bit tied up at the moment

    Lewis: But Lewis is joint number one and needs some support

    Niki: (in the background) Is he still moaning? Toto, tell him to man up. I won three titles……

    Toto: Yeah Ok Niki, Thanks for that… Lewis, we’ll see what we can do… oh hang on, Susie’s on the other line, I’ll have to call you back

    Lewis: Toto? Toto? Oh man, Lewis wishes Nicole was here to give Lewis a hug right now. Lewis wonders if Lewis should give Ron a ring.

    Stay tuned for the next episode of Brand

    * best friend for ever
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2014
    FB, Jos the Boss, McZiderRed and 3 others like this.

Share This

  1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use it, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice