2012 Predictions

[teabagyokel]

A tradition on Clip the Apex is to produce a list of predictions every new year. So what is going to happen in 2012. Get out your crystal balls...

• Felipe Massa will resign in July with "encouragement" from di Montezemelo
• Flavio Briatore will visit Monaco, talk crap and not appear in Korea
• The Bahrain Grand Prix will be cancelled or an absolute nightmare
• Valencia will be crap
• Seb Vettel will start on pole a minimum of 8 times
• Lewis Hamilton will be blamed for a crash involving him. If there are no such events, he will be blamed for a crash he is not involved in.
• Helmut Marko will look like a tool at some point
• Adrian Sutil will not race in China, at least!
• Sauber will not be mentioned in any newspaper headline, worldwide!
• Caterham will outqualify Williams at least once by the end of the season.
• HRT will be, in the words of Sky's finest, "slower than a slow thing"
• At the Indian Grand Prix in India, the BBC in India will mention India
• Jake Humphrey's tweets will get less close to reality as the half-season wears on
• Kimi Raikkonen will score a podium!
• Romain Grosjean will not beat Raikkonen in any race the Finn doesn't retire
• Jarno Trulli will not complete the season
• Helmut Marko will be implicated in Mark Webber's latest "fall of a bike" which keeps him out for half the season
• Eddie Jordan will still talk bollocks all year, even if there are fewer people seeing it!
• Jenson Button will be implicated in a dandruff based scandal
• Seb Vettel will not have a gearbox problem until the title is won
• Maruissia will be sold again

 

[tooncheese]

Here goes...

• All cancelled races will be on the BBC schedule
• Nick Heidfeld's career will be resurrected after an incident involving Sergio Perez and a Turkey
• Luca di Montezemelo will become Italy's new leader and declare Red Bull illegal
• Paul di Resta wins Britain's dullest sportsman award beating Andy Murray and Rory McIlroy
• Bernie Ecclestone will buy Greece
• Flavio Briatore sells the Valencia Street Circuit to Dr Evil
• Jake Humphrey makes a 'hilarious' quip about Eddie Jordan's new shirt
• Pedro de la Rosa is accused of selling confidential information about HRT's new discovery of downforce
• Rosberg will be a steady all rounder (exceptional at nothing)
• Pastor Maldonado will hit somthing
• XIX Entertainment will annoy me
• BBC constantly talk to Mike Gasgoine about Caterham's brilliant 15th place (fighting with the big boys soon)
• Frank Williams will be fire everyone and start again
• Martin Whitmarsh will praise Jenson's 4th place as Hamilton wins
• The Saudi Arabian Grand Prix is announced
• And Iranian
• And Somalian
• No room for all these poor Western nations says Ecclestone
• Someone will compare Vergne to Vettel, and Vettel to Schumacher
• Vettel will not win the championship

 

[no-FIAt-please]

• Vettel to win the WDC
• McLaren - too little too late
• Force India to have an excellent season and finish 5th in the WCC
• Mercedes will continue to finish 4th
• Sutil to be in a race seat come the end of the season
• BBC will be crap
• Caterham to score points
• Webber will be crap and will be 'injured' in the last 2 races of the season with Buemi replacing him
• Raikkonen to score a podium
• Barrichello get his 20th season
• Incident involving car number 4 will be investigated after the race - FIA controversy
• Schumi to retire with di Resta replacing him
• HRT will beat Marussia again
• di Montezemelo may utter "there is no F1 without Ferrari" once or ten times
• Rosberg still won't win a race
• Bahrain will be an excellent race, a bit of tear gas to mix it up
• Williams will reach a new low and will be competing with HRT and Marussia
• Finally I predict that I will only watch 50% of the races live...

 

[Josh]

Vettel will win the WDC.

Hamilton will leave Mclaren.

HRT will have a different lineup than their regular lineup in atleast two races.

Rosberg will be in front of Schumacher.

Schumacher is going to lose at least two front wings.

Vettel will win the Australian Grand Prix.

Renault are back at the front.

Massa will be better than last year.

Sauber will be mentioned in a newspaper headline.

Di Resta will not give an exciting interview.

Button will beat Hamilton for the second year in a row...

...but Hamilton will get more podiums than Button.

Caterham will outqualify Williams and finish higher than them on merit more than once.

 

[mjo]

What will happen in 2012:

• The BBC to declare a national holiday because Paul DiResta has finished in 5th place
• There will be 6 wet races, including a torrential thunderstorm in Malaysia
• Lewis Hamilton will see the stewards more times than anyone else
• This will be the last: Valencia GP, Korean GP and Bahrain GP
• 8 different drivers will win a race (Vettel, Webber, Alonso, Button, Hamilton, Massa, Schumi and Raikonnen)
• There will be a 6-way title fight heading into Interlagos
• There will be an overtake for the lead on the last lap in 4 races
• It will rain in Bahrain or Abu Dhabi
• It won't rain in Singapore
• Luca di Montezemolo will complain that Red Bull are 'killing the sport'
• Christian Horner will claim that 'Ferrari are sore losers'
• Helmut Marko insists that the next driver in Red Bull/Toro Rosso to get in the way of Vettel will be sacked
• Caterham will score a point, only to realise that HRT have scored two in the same chaotic race
• Marussia will finish last
• F1 will threaten to destroy itself (again)
• Bernie will make some quip about a well-known notoriously bloody dictator, and say how brilliant he's been
• Kobayashi will get on the podium
• Sky F1 and BBC F1 will both be monumental failures (apart from Ben Edwards of course)
• Eddie Jordan and Martin Brundle will have a fight on the grid to see who can interview Button first
• As Sky are filming the podium celebrations, Jake gets in the way
• Eddie sabotages Sky's f1 production
• Briatore threatens to enter F1
• A team owned by an obscure Eastern-European businessmen will try to enter F1
• Korea will still look the same
• Bernie will claim that Austin is better than Silverstone in every way despite the fact that the track is half-finished

Oh, and on a worldwide note:

• France will betray Britain's trust
• America will be forced to choose between two idiots for presidency
• Argentina will declare war on the UK
• France will surrender against the Germans over the EU
• Britain will cock up the Olympics
• England will win the Euros
• And, the world's going to end

But most importantly:

• The mighty MK Dons will gain promotion
• Sakon Yamomoto will worm his way back into F1 and have an embarrassing accident

 

[Slyboogy]

• Schumacher to grow a beard

• Heidfeld will return

• Schumacher will finish ahead of Rosberg in the standings, all because of his beard

• Mercedes to finish 4th in the championship

• Vettel will get a new celebration

• Lewis Hamilton will stop wearing those huge diva sunglasses

• Massa to return to the podium

• Alonso will play his mind games as usual - this time it might be that De La Rosa is the biggest threat on the grid

• HRT will miss at least one winter test

• Some old F1 pensioner will make a controversial statement

• Lewis Hamilton will collide with Nico "Britney" Rosberg resulting in two singles coming out "Hit me baby one more time" by Nico "Britney" Rosberg and "oops I didn't do it again" by Lewis Hamilton

• Webber will claim he's number 2 but he's actually number 3 due to Buemi replacing him

• Jos the Boss will create a new record beating his old one of predicting the weather wrong for all the races

• Button will be hailed "Mr.Smooth"

• Toro Rosso will be in the bottom half of the midfielders

• Sauber will have good testing pace

• Williams will be forgotten about

• Caterham will bring updates which are worth a second but they won't be really upgrades, it will just be the teams taking stuff off of their cars to give the team a chance after their 1s upgrades fail once again

• Kimi Raikkonen will wake up in the 2nd half of the season

• DRS will ruin races again

• Button will be overpraised like Di Resta

• Nico Rosberg will be anonymous

• Eddie Irvine will return to F1

• Toro Rosso will realise that the dude with antlers and fur was the best driver on the grid

• Bernie will claim the Olympics stole his medal idea finally showing his insanity

• Team "Watermelon GP" will dominate the season with Slyboogy as he lead driver, with Evilwhippet as his race engineer (ordering him to ruin Bruno Senna's race) and with Coach as Coach

• Jaime Alguersuarus will invade the Bahrain track thinking he's back in Jurassic Park due to some dinosaurs on the grid (Barricehllo, De La Rosa, Schumacher & Trulli)

• And finally:
  Buemi will win 5 races and challenge for the championship after replacing Webber after 8 races

[/list]

 

[Greenlantern101]

• Webber, Schumacher and Massa will loose their seats for 2013
• Hamilton will take the championship from Vettel on the last race of the season
• The BBC will announce they are cancelling all F1 coverage for 2013 after poor viewing figures
• Hamilton will sack his management team
• Silverstone will be hot and sunny all weekend
• HRT will be sold to an Russian billionaire
• Russian Moscow GP will be announced for 2014
• Valencia and Barcelona will be excluded from the 2013 calendar
• A new South African GP will be announced for 2014
• Vettel will get arthritis in his finger
• Button will get married
• Sky will win an award for their F1 coverage
• DiResta will thrash his team mate silencing the critics
• Kimi will give a one word reply to a long interview question
• Alonso will continue to praise his fellow drivers and go 'Full Hippy' by the end of the year.. man
• Kubica will sign for Ferrari in 2013
• The world won't end

 

[mjo]

• Silverstone will be hot and sunny all weekend

About as likely as it is that North Korea will become the world's centre for free speech.

 

[Jos the Boss]

Lewis Hamilton will be world champion
Schumi will win a race
Rosberg wins a race
8 different drivers win a race
It won't snow in Abu Dhabi
An arguement between Crofty and MB will break out
Martin and Eddie will have a fight on the grid
Jake will purposely walk in front of sky sports cameras
DC will make a totally hilarious comment resulting in me laughing out loud
Martin Brundle will tell us somebody is on it
We will be racing in Silverstone
Comeback for Murray Walker
Lee Mckenzie will get more air time
Ted will be at Mclaren
Team orders prevent Martin interupting Tanja
Slyboogy will complain about my awesome weather skills
Team Watermelon GP won't make the grid at Australia
Rain at 7 races
Monza will be fantastic
Vettel will not show the finger as much
Button will be the best in mixed conditions despite retiring early in the race
I'll will declare how much Brundle was better as leas commentator
Mmmmmmm Georgie
More Georgie
HD Georgie
I will go on about Georgie Thompson
DC will start flirting with Georgie Thompson
Rider will be a fail
I will, watch all 20 races!
Spa will be phenomonal
Bharain will be good
Berndt Mylander will be made redundant due to bullet proof reliability
I will mention F1 cars a bullet proof
Mercedes will compete at the front
Sauber will be best of the rest
Lotus will score points!
HRT will be last for once
Toro Rosso won't do well
Barrichello will retire
The return of the heidfield!
And lastly, awkward flirting between DC and Button!

 

[Josh]

Oh, and Sauber will win a race.

 

[tooncheese]

At the half way stage things aren't looking good for my predictions...

Here goes...

• All cancelled races will be on the BBC schedule
• Nick Heidfeld's career will be resurrected after an incident involving Sergio Perez and a Turkey
• Luca di Montezemelo will become Italy's new leader and declare Red Bull illegal
• Paul di Resta wins Britain's dullest sportsman award beating Andy Murray and Rory McIlroy
• Bernie Ecclestone will buy Greece
• Flavio Briatore sells the Valencia Street Circuit to Dr Evil
• Jake Humphrey makes a 'hilarious' quip about Eddie Jordan's new shirt Correct
• Pedro de la Rosa is accused of selling confidential information about HRT's new discovery of downforce
• Rosberg will be a steady all rounder (exceptional at nothing)
• Pastor Maldonado will hit somthing Double Correct
• XIX Entertainment will annoy me Correct
• BBC constantly talk to Mike Gasgoine about Caterham's brilliant 15th place (fighting with the big boys soon) Correct
• Frank Williams will be fire everyone and start again
• Martin Whitmarsh will praise Jenson's 4th place as Hamilton wins Sort of
• The Saudi Arabian Grand Prix is announced
• And Iranian
• And Somalian
• No room for all these poor Western nations says Ecclestone Correct
• Someone will compare Vergne to Vettel, and Vettel to Schumacher Correct
• Vettel will not win the championship

 

[Jos the Boss]

Lewis Hamilton will be world champion
Schumi will win a race
Rosberg wins a race Correct
8 different drivers win a race Nearly!
It won't snow in Abu Dhabi
An arguement between Crofty and MB will break out
Martin and Eddie will have a fight on the grid
Jake will purposely walk in front of sky sports cameras
DC will make a totally hilarious comment resulting in me laughing out loud Correct
Martin Brundle will tell us somebody is on it Correct
We will be racing in Silverstone Correct
Comeback for Murray Walker Correct
Lee Mckenzie will get more air time Correct
Ted will be at Mclaren Correct
Team orders prevent Martin interupting Tanja
Slyboogy will complain about my awesome weather skills Correct
Team Watermelon GP won't make the grid at Australia Correct!
Rain at 7 races
Monza will be fantastic
Vettel will not show the finger as much Correct
Button will be the best in mixed conditions despite retiring early in the race
I'll will declare how much Brundle was better as leas commentator Correct
Mmmmmmm Georgie Correct
More Georgie Correct
HD Georgie Correct
I will go on about Georgie Thompson Correct
DC will start flirting with Georgie Thompson
Rider will be a fail Correct
I will, watch all 20 races!
Spa will be phenomonal
Bharain will be good Correct
Berndt Mylander will be made redundant due to bullet proof reliability
I will mention F1 cars a bullet proof
Mercedes will compete at the front Correct
Sauber will be best of the rest Correct, kind of
Lotus will score points!
HRT will be last for once
Toro Rosso won't do well Correct
Barrichello will retire Correct
The return of the heidfield!
And lastly, awkward flirting between DC and Button! Correct!

I'm doing quite well here!

 

[teabagyokel]

• Felipe Massa will resign in July with "encouragement" from di Montezemelo - No!
• Flavio Briatore will visit Monaco, talk crap and not appear in Korea - Did he?
• The Bahrain Grand Prix will be cancelled or an absolute nightmare - Bit of a nightmare!
• Valencia will be crap - Wrong!
• Seb Vettel will start on pole a minimum of 8 times - Five more!
• Lewis Hamilton will be blamed for a crash involving him. If there are no such events, he will be blamed for a crash he is not involved in. - Did someone blame him for the Maldo incident?
• Helmut Marko will look like a tool at some point - Constantly
• Adrian Sutil will not race in China, at least! - He's not around
• Sauber will not be mentioned in any newspaper headline, worldwide! - Damn you, Checo!
• Caterham will outqualify Williams at least once by the end of the season. - Hardly looking likely.
• HRT will be, in the words of Sky's finest, "slower than a slow thing" - Yep
• At the Indian Grand Prix in India, the BBC in India will mention India - Sticking to this one
• Jake Humphrey's tweets will get less close to reality as the half-season wears on - He is pretty bonkers
• Kimi Raikkonen will score a podium! - Well done, Kimi!
• Romain Grosjean will not beat Raikkonen in any race the Finn doesn't retire - Better than I expected, Romain
• Jarno Trulli will not complete the season - Didn't even start
• Helmut Marko will be implicated in Mark Webber's latest "fall of a bike" which keeps him out for half the season - I'm expecting it soon
• Eddie Jordan will still talk bollocks all year, even if there are fewer people seeing it! - He is talking bollocks
• Jenson Button will be implicated in a dandruff based scandal - No
• Seb Vettel will not have a gearbox problem until the title is won - Alternator?
• Maruissia will be sold again - Not yet

 

[Jos the Boss]

Lewis Hamilton will be blamed for a crash involving him. If there are no such events, he will be blamed for a crash he is not involved in. - Did someone blame him for the Maldo incident?

Only a few people!

 

[landogeorgelewis1]

• Lewis Hamilton will collide with Nico "Britney" Rosberg resulting in two singles coming out "Hit me baby one more time" by Nico "Britney" Rosberg and "oops I didn't do it again" by Lewis Hamilton.

• Team "Watermelon GP" will dominate the season with Slyboogy as he lead driver, with Evilwhippet as his race engineer (ordering him to ruin Bruno Senna's race) and with Coach as Coach

[/list]

How have i never seen this thread already.

Slyboogy these made me , so very funny especially the first one .

 

[Josh]

Vettel will win the WDC. - Not likely

Hamilton will leave Mclaren. - Maybe.

HRT will have a different lineup than their regular lineup in atleast two races. - Can still happen.

Rosberg will be in front of Schumacher. - Kinda not really....

Schumacher is going to lose at least two front wings. - I think he did, didn't he?

Vettel will win the Australian Grand Prix. - NOPE

Renault are back at the front. - I say yes!

Massa will be better than last year. - Well, yes.

Sauber will be mentioned in a newspaper headline. - Yes!

Di Resta will not give an exciting interview. - Oh yes!!!

Button will beat Hamilton for the second year in a row... - Probably not....

...but Hamilton will get more podiums than Button. - He's ahead at the moment!

Caterham will outqualify Williams and finish higher than them on merit more than once. - Not yet....

Oh, and Sauber will win a race. - This will happen!!

 

[Mephistopheles]

I predict a riot....

 

[MCLS]

Josh Change that to possibly and definitely for Vettel and Hamilton

 

[Josh]

I would but I can't edit my old posts

 

[MCLS]

Schumacher is going to lose at least two front wings.

Does crashing into Senna in Spain and Vergne in Singapore count?