Clip The Apex Presents...

ROOTERSPORT Issue 1 August 2011 Welcome to Rootersport News, a new initiative from our beloved Rooters News Group. We have launched this new comic following the recent disappointing read in the pages of our competition. We thought that it was high time we jumped onto the bandwagon to dish out some predictable drivel and show the tabloids how it should be done. The whole team (that's me backwards with an 'a' and a 't' in it) are so excited we can't possibly tell you how much! So, enjoy the first issue of Rootersport as it may well be the last! ROOTERSPORT NEWS - MONZA PREVIEW Part One - Team Principles (if they have any) or Minion's Interviews - Tellie Fenderman interviews some of them...

The office at the top of Maranello tower. An Italian man in glasses enters the room, as his boss swivels around in his huge backed chair. SD: Forza Ferrari! LdM: Forza Ferrari! What was it you wanted, Stefano? SD: A few things. First, we've noticed Mike Coughlan hanging around the bins again. LdM: Give him one of our dossiers. SD: That nearly didn't work last time, Luca, are you sure...? LdM: If Williams are on the pace next year, the Place de la Concorde will find out about it. SD: OK, second, Rob is getting irritated by the team strategy. LdM: Tell him we can bring back Badoer if he's not happy. SD: Do we really want to hamper our second car that much? LdM: Quite frankly, Stefano, you need to hamper second cars more. Did you see that...

Who knows? Let's ask Christian Horner if he can take over Webber's RB7 in Japan and see how it goes. Mr Corner c/o The Bubblegum Fizzy Drinks Company The Land of Roundabouts Dear Christian We at Clip the Apex have always respected your every utterance and think you are a really nice bloke (despite the foot tapping during every race, what are you listening to on your iPod?). Anyway, can you settle an argument for us. That Aussie bloke has been a bit crap year (yes, we know Dietrich likes him but that's only because he has compromising pictures of him and Slavia Ecclestone in a Nuns outfit) so we would like you to put Nico Rosberg into the second RB7 at Suzuka. We are sure if you rouge his cheeks, add some spray stubble, dye his hair...