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ULTRA HOT PRESS EXCLUSIVE ... ROOTERS NEWS GIVEN GREEN LIGHT TO LAUNCH NEW STUFF SECTION ON CTA It is with great humility and some degree of smug satisfaction that Rooters International News Peep's can accept the remarkable honour of opening a new forum on Clip The Apex. Due to popular demand and a shed load of really creative peep's CTA are launching this wonderful new place for free expression and loose tongues. Our top hack, Fenderman, has been hunting down the contributors who will undoubtedly make this another unrivalled success for CTA. McZiderRed said "It's a pleasure to be in collaboration with the luminaries of CTA. For example, I've been looking at Cheddar Gorge Racing for a while now. They are a strong cheese team, which...

And welcome one and all to a new season of Formula One racing. The SKY is bright blue and there is not a cloud in it as we look forward to another season of action packed racing. For only the second year in Formula One history, the races are being televised live on television. This inovative feature only began in 2012 but it has come on in giant steps and apparently has now become the number one way for people to watch our wonderful sport. F1 is for everyone, from those who love the Nissan SKYline to those who remember when SKY was in Neigbours. It dosn't matter if you think it's all pie in the SKY. For each race throughout the season there will be post race analysis provided by our ex-F1 driver and motoring correspondent Barty...

The office at the top of Maranello tower. An Italian man in glasses enters the room, as his boss swivels around in his huge backed chair. SD: Forza Ferrari! LdM: Forza Ferrari! What was it you wanted, Stefano? SD: A few things. First, we've noticed Mike Coughlan hanging around the bins again. LdM: Give him one of our dossiers. SD: That nearly didn't work last time, Luca, are you sure...? LdM: If Williams are on the pace next year, the Place de la Concorde will find out about it. SD: OK, second, Rob is getting irritated by the team strategy. LdM: Tell him we can bring back Badoer if he's not happy. SD: Do we really want to hamper our second car that much? LdM: Quite frankly, Stefano, you need to hamper second cars more. Did you see that...

This is Martian Bumble reporting live from the F1 paddock. As always I'm going to try my best to poke my nose into everyone's business, whether they like it or not. There's lots to talk about today considering the recent shenanigans between Versuseveryone and Peniz. Hey, there's Leak Stephensomeone who works for Bared Balls. Let's see if we can get a few words from him. So Leak, I heard a rumour that most people in the team think that Versuseveryone acted like a total **** last week. What makes them say that? Well, it's fairly obvious, isn't it? He's really not very well liked, apart from by Horny, who apparently has had a silicone model of one his body parts made. Hmm, well, that's disturbing ... I know, right! It's worse than...

Two ageing F1 Impresarios sit gazing at the Oxfordshire countryside through a large window at the Williams F1 Conference Centre. Frank - So Sam has gone then? Patrick - Thought it best to let him go, he was wittering about computers again. Frank - I don’t understand these youngsters, what's wrong with a slide rule and a drawing board? Patrick - Couldn't agree more. Managed quite well without any computer nonsense since we got rid of Adrian. Frank - Yes, cost me a fortune. Not as much as Jackie's bloody tartan trousers when RBS were here though. A brief silence occurs Frank - I still miss the cooling towers Patrick - Yes, inspired some of my best designs, the FW09 in particular There is a another brief silence Frank - Any new...

Overheard in McLaren paddock during Montreal GP rain delay: Ron Dennis : Martin, I find myself sub-optimal mood-wise... Martin W: Er...Oh dear, is it because Lewis & Jenson had a coming-together? RD: That is a sub-component of my displeasure certainly - a concomitant result of which means that the biomaton for car 3 is spending an inordinate amount of time dawdling about in the garage accompanied by monosyllabic entities whose grasp of the intricacies of the functioning of a Formula 1 Racing Concern are, at best, decidedly lacking. MW: ...well, er... Rhianna's hair nearly matches the vodafone orange, surely? RD: It most certainly does not Martin - have your eye checked, would you? Furthermore, I would prefer that Jordan creature to be...

(the lights dim and spotlights flow around the stage) Announcer: Please welcome to the stage the stars of this years F1 grid (all the drivers run on in pairs to thunderous applause) Annoucer: ....and please welcome your host Sebassstttiian Vetttteeeel! (Sebastian runs on to the stage in front of the line up of drivers) SV: Hey! Has anyone seen any of the other F1 drivers? Audience: There behind you! SV: Aren't they always? RINGADINGDING! (shows off the finger). Ladies and Gentlemen I'd like to welcome you to the first annual F1 Variety Show! and without further delay lets kick off the show with a musical number from the 3 Nic's! (Audience applaudes loudly as all the drivers run off stage and the lights are dimmed) (3 Spotlights...

On the subject of "anonymous holidays in Tenby".... what'd ya mean, no-one was talking about that? ... source link The sleepy seaside town of Tenby, in South Wales, was sent into a frenzy yesterday, when the proprietor of a seafront hotel (The Tenby Ritz) let slip to his friend Morgan Evans the Butcher, or as he's known locally "Morgan the Meat", that a Spaniard had booked into the Tenby Ritz Hotel for a long weekend break. The Spaniard was named Lenarndo Afonso, and would be jetting off to Canada 'on a business trip' early next week. Well, the scenes that followed were unbelievable. It was well known that Fernando Alonso used to take anonymous holidays in the town, thanks to later press reports on the subject, so the townsfolk put...

The 2112 Formula One season is almost upon us here, and the teams have built their cars and tested them to the nth degree. As the grid decamps to Homs, Syria to be welcomed by the despotic rulers of the country, we here at Apex Sport preview the new season. Last year's Constructors' Champions Anthony Hamilton Racing continue with their Renault engine, but there is a new driver line-up. Their two drivers are both decendents of former World Champions with (3) Martin Button and (4) Ronaldo Alonso taking to the famous yellow cars. The team has missed its founder's steely detirmination, but was still utterly successful last year. Drinks manufacturers Tango continue with their F1 effort with Daewoo engines in the back. (5) Roberto Ontário...

A bargain board for all F1 fans - a series of collectables that will be available after each race from the the 2012 season. We will start with the Shanghai, China GP. Apologies for those of you who were hoping for something from Australia or Malaysia - we are still in negotiation - items may become available later in the season. All lots will come with certification from the seller as to their authenticity - everything for sale here formed part of the spectacle and result. We have a selection of used and new items. All are open to bids, but we have set 'reserves' on some items. Lot 1 - numerous sets of NEW inters and wets. Pirelli have decided not to ship these over to Bahrain - the cost involved is huge and the upcoming venue...

Ere M'Babbers, Wes ere with a recap on my F1 team. As you remember we were bidding to enter our car at the start of the 2010 Formula One season. Sadly things didn't go according to plan...... Catch up with our original story 'ere and stay tuned for future posts as we continue to pursue the dream of West Country Motorsports fans everywhere. Wes http://cliptheapex.com/threads/chedder-valley-racing-the-blog-part-1.1005/ http://cliptheapex.com/threads/cheddar-valley-racing-the-blog-part-2.1017/