Clip The Apex Presents...

A smartly dressed Danica Patrick enters and office room and takes a seat in front of a desk. Sat at the desk are Jean Todt, Bernie Ecclestone and Flavio Briatorie. Flavio is sit back from the others slightly, wearing sunglasses and smoking a cigarette. JT: Miss Patrick. Thank you for coming. DP: How could I resist. Mr Briatorie here tells me he has some kind of job he'd like me to do for him BE: I'm sure he has! *the three behind the desk snigger like school boys* JT: Let me cut to the chase Miss Patrick, I know you have been over at the NASCAR bureua but have you heard of a project called 'The F1 Files' DP: I have heard the name yes. BE: and your understanding of it? *Flavio lights another cigarette* DP: My understand...

The Odd Couple The off-season had been long, the new F1 season seemed to never arrive… There were changes in the F1 regulations, changes in the cars. There was also changes in the driver line-ups. There were also changes in the “Clip the Apex Presents…” blogs. As evidenced in the “Fernando Alonso’s Extraneous Adventures” blog… --- --- --- --- Fernando tried to settle Perky into his new home but, being an excitable pig, this was not an easy thing to do. Normally Perky’s stomach was predictable, but ever since the move from Maranello Tower, Fernando had realised there was a problem. “Perky, there really is no need to worry. Uncle Kimi is a very nice chap”; Fernando said in a reassuring tone. “Oink…”; said Perky, sounding...

Two ageing F1 Impresarios sit gazing at the Oxfordshire countryside through a large window at the Williams F1 Conference Centre. Frank - So Sam has gone then? Patrick - Thought it best to let him go, he was wittering about computers again. Frank - I don’t understand these youngsters, what's wrong with a slide rule and a drawing board? Patrick - Couldn't agree more. Managed quite well without any computer nonsense since we got rid of Adrian. Frank - Yes, cost me a fortune. Not as much as Jackie's bloody tartan trousers when RBS were here though. A brief silence occurs Frank - I still miss the cooling towers Patrick - Yes, inspired some of my best designs, the FW09 in particular There is a another brief silence Frank - Any new...

A bargain board for all F1 fans - a series of collectables that will be available after each race from the the 2012 season. We will start with the Shanghai, China GP. Apologies for those of you who were hoping for something from Australia or Malaysia - we are still in negotiation - items may become available later in the season. All lots will come with certification from the seller as to their authenticity - everything for sale here formed part of the spectacle and result. We have a selection of used and new items. All are open to bids, but we have set 'reserves' on some items. Lot 1 - numerous sets of NEW inters and wets. Pirelli have decided not to ship these over to Bahrain - the cost involved is huge and the upcoming venue...

In this thread I am going to post art work that I have drawn and tried to capture the lighter side of Formula One and other motorsport. My goal is to provide a humorous take on current and past events. My inspiration comes from the great Jim Bamber. His art style has always been a great source of joy for myself. I hope you enjoy the comic. If you have any suggestions or requests for a certain story please send me a private message to my inbox.

Ross Brawn is sitting at his desk at the MGP head office when the special silver phone rings on his desk: Ross: “Hello, Ross speaking.” Screen splits to show caller: Lewis: “Yo Mr Brawn, owz it hanging?” Ross: “Oh hello Lewis, Fine thanks. What can I do for you?” Lewis: “Yo Mr Brawn, it’s about the company nickname ‘Silver Arrows’, Lewis don’t like it” Ross: “And what exactly don’t you like about it Lewis?” Lewis: “Well Lewis was watchin that Olympics fing and Silver is for second place man and that ain’t Lewis. Know what Lewis is saying? And Arrows, well they is never winning a Grand Prix and Lewis is a Winner” Ross: “So what do you suggest we call it?” Lewis: “Well Lewis was thinking we calls it ‘Golden Lewis’”...

1 In the Ferrari garage, Fernando stood alone and frightened, unable, or unwilling to move. The realisation that his condition, suffering with the disease LeproFerrarisy, left him susceptible to losing badly. And Fernando was already a bad loser. Being a Ferrari Leper just made things worse. Taking a deep breath, he slowly rotated on the spot so he was facing the door to the Ferrari garage and slowly moved his left foot forward. As he tried to move his right foot, he lost his balance and fell head-first to the floor, bashing his head on ... on on on on ~~~~ Bright light… Blinding bright light. Painful bright light. Eyelids flicker. “Are you hurt? Are you awake?” Fernando attempted to open his eyes, slowly. The light was...

Ere M'Babbers, Wes ere with a recap on my F1 team. As you remember we were bidding to enter our car at the start of the 2010 Formula One season. Sadly things didn't go according to plan...... Catch up with our original story 'ere and stay tuned for future posts as we continue to pursue the dream of West Country Motorsports fans everywhere. Wes http://cliptheapex.com/threads/chedder-valley-racing-the-blog-part-1.1005/ http://cliptheapex.com/threads/cheddar-valley-racing-the-blog-part-2.1017/

Toto Wolff is in the kitchen wearing his favorite pinny, making tea when in walks Susie: Susie: Phew what a day Toto: Velcome home darling, how vos it? Susie: Busy, I spent the whole day in the simulator again. Toto: How iz zat coming along? Susie: Not bad, not bad at all. They finally got around to giving me Felipe's copy of Grandprix 2014 and Sir Frank says if I can complete Monaco in novice mode higher than sixth, with realistic crashes on, then he will let me drive the car off the transporter and into the garage at Spa. Toto: Snookems zat is vonderful. I love you zo much. Now could you pass ze salt. Susie: Of course I can pass Zesalt? Is he the new Caterham test driver? I may be female darling but you know I can mix it with...

(the lights dim and spotlights flow around the stage) Announcer: Please welcome to the stage the stars of this years F1 grid (all the drivers run on in pairs to thunderous applause) Annoucer: ....and please welcome your host Sebassstttiian Vetttteeeel! (Sebastian runs on to the stage in front of the line up of drivers) SV: Hey! Has anyone seen any of the other F1 drivers? Audience: There behind you! SV: Aren't they always? RINGADINGDING! (shows off the finger). Ladies and Gentlemen I'd like to welcome you to the first annual F1 Variety Show! and without further delay lets kick off the show with a musical number from the 3 Nic's! (Audience applaudes loudly as all the drivers run off stage and the lights are dimmed) (3 Spotlights...

And welcome one and all to a new season of Formula One racing. The SKY is bright blue and there is not a cloud in it as we look forward to another season of action packed racing. For only the second year in Formula One history, the races are being televised live on television. This inovative feature only began in 2012 but it has come on in giant steps and apparently has now become the number one way for people to watch our wonderful sport. F1 is for everyone, from those who love the Nissan SKYline to those who remember when SKY was in Neigbours. It dosn't matter if you think it's all pie in the SKY. For each race throughout the season there will be post race analysis provided by our ex-F1 driver and motoring correspondent Barty...