Clip The Apex Presents...

Toto Wolff is in the kitchen wearing his favorite pinny, making tea when in walks Susie: Susie: Phew what a day Toto: Velcome home darling, how vos it? Susie: Busy, I spent the whole day in the simulator again. Toto: How iz zat coming along? Susie: Not bad, not bad at all. They finally got around to giving me Felipe's copy of Grandprix 2014 and Sir Frank says if I can complete Monaco in novice mode higher than sixth, with realistic crashes on, then he will let me drive the car off the transporter and into the garage at Spa. Toto: Snookems zat is vonderful. I love you zo much. Now could you pass ze salt. Susie: Of course I can pass Zesalt? Is he the new Caterham test driver? I may be female darling but you know I can mix it with...

Ross Brawn is sitting at his desk at the MGP head office when the special silver phone rings on his desk: Ross: “Hello, Ross speaking.” Screen splits to show caller: Lewis: “Yo Mr Brawn, owz it hanging?” Ross: “Oh hello Lewis, Fine thanks. What can I do for you?” Lewis: “Yo Mr Brawn, it’s about the company nickname ‘Silver Arrows’, Lewis don’t like it” Ross: “And what exactly don’t you like about it Lewis?” Lewis: “Well Lewis was watchin that Olympics fing and Silver is for second place man and that ain’t Lewis. Know what Lewis is saying? And Arrows, well they is never winning a Grand Prix and Lewis is a Winner” Ross: “So what do you suggest we call it?” Lewis: “Well Lewis was thinking we calls it ‘Golden Lewis’”...

Overheard in McLaren paddock during Montreal GP rain delay: Ron Dennis : Martin, I find myself sub-optimal mood-wise... Martin W: Er...Oh dear, is it because Lewis & Jenson had a coming-together? RD: That is a sub-component of my displeasure certainly - a concomitant result of which means that the biomaton for car 3 is spending an inordinate amount of time dawdling about in the garage accompanied by monosyllabic entities whose grasp of the intricacies of the functioning of a Formula 1 Racing Concern are, at best, decidedly lacking. MW: ...well, er... Rhianna's hair nearly matches the vodafone orange, surely? RD: It most certainly does not Martin - have your eye checked, would you? Furthermore, I would prefer that Jordan creature to be...

ULTRA HOT PRESS EXCLUSIVE ... ROOTERS NEWS GIVEN GREEN LIGHT TO LAUNCH NEW STUFF SECTION ON CTA It is with great humility and some degree of smug satisfaction that Rooters International News Peep's can accept the remarkable honour of opening a new forum on Clip The Apex. Due to popular demand and a shed load of really creative peep's CTA are launching this wonderful new place for free expression and loose tongues. Our top hack, Fenderman, has been hunting down the contributors who will undoubtedly make this another unrivalled success for CTA. McZiderRed said "It's a pleasure to be in collaboration with the luminaries of CTA. For example, I've been looking at Cheddar Gorge Racing for a while now. They are a strong cheese team, which...

For your entertainment I have decided to post the entire series of YOST in one place. We start at the beginning which seems a sensible idea even if the strip is rather insensible. This first episode was much like a pilot and was in honour of MCLS 's birthday. Just like on the telly a warm reception from Rooters fans meant that we, the occupants of Fenderman's Head, commissioned further episodes. So here we go and if you haven't received your own personal episode please understand that they are time consuming and we don't always get off the starting blocks in reasonable time for everyone's birthday. Sometimes we simply don't know when a birthday is looming until it's way too late. Oh, and I should mention a few pointers: Members who...

A bargain board for all F1 fans - a series of collectables that will be available after each race from the the 2012 season. We will start with the Shanghai, China GP. Apologies for those of you who were hoping for something from Australia or Malaysia - we are still in negotiation - items may become available later in the season. All lots will come with certification from the seller as to their authenticity - everything for sale here formed part of the spectacle and result. We have a selection of used and new items. All are open to bids, but we have set 'reserves' on some items. Lot 1 - numerous sets of NEW inters and wets. Pirelli have decided not to ship these over to Bahrain - the cost involved is huge and the upcoming venue...

Rooters News ......... LATEST RUMOUREPORT .......... Rooters News The rumour mill is running hot with the revelation that the F1 technical working group has just about ironed out all the problems related to the long awaited Constant Radius Tunnel Racing Formula 1 (CRTRF1). Circuit designer, Tilke, has completed the design of the first track to be erected in Trafalgar Square, London, England. This will be the very first state of the art space saving circuit with the entire track on the inside of a 3km circumference tube. The starting grid will form in Pall Mall to enable cars to enter the tube at the requisite speed to enable their aerodynamic devices to "stick" the cars to the track when upside down. The sticking point with drafting...

The 2112 Formula One season is almost upon us here, and the teams have built their cars and tested them to the nth degree. As the grid decamps to Homs, Syria to be welcomed by the despotic rulers of the country, we here at Apex Sport preview the new season. Last year's Constructors' Champions Anthony Hamilton Racing continue with their Renault engine, but there is a new driver line-up. Their two drivers are both decendents of former World Champions with (3) Martin Button and (4) Ronaldo Alonso taking to the famous yellow cars. The team has missed its founder's steely detirmination, but was still utterly successful last year. Drinks manufacturers Tango continue with their F1 effort with Daewoo engines in the back. (5) Roberto Ontário...

And welcome one and all to a new season of Formula One racing. The SKY is bright blue and there is not a cloud in it as we look forward to another season of action packed racing. For only the second year in Formula One history, the races are being televised live on television. This inovative feature only began in 2012 but it has come on in giant steps and apparently has now become the number one way for people to watch our wonderful sport. F1 is for everyone, from those who love the Nissan SKYline to those who remember when SKY was in Neigbours. It dosn't matter if you think it's all pie in the SKY. For each race throughout the season there will be post race analysis provided by our ex-F1 driver and motoring correspondent Barty...

In this thread I am going to post art work that I have drawn and tried to capture the lighter side of Formula One and other motorsport. My goal is to provide a humorous take on current and past events. My inspiration comes from the great Jim Bamber. His art style has always been a great source of joy for myself. I hope you enjoy the comic. If you have any suggestions or requests for a certain story please send me a private message to my inbox.

A smartly dressed Danica Patrick enters and office room and takes a seat in front of a desk. Sat at the desk are Jean Todt, Bernie Ecclestone and Flavio Briatorie. Flavio is sit back from the others slightly, wearing sunglasses and smoking a cigarette. JT: Miss Patrick. Thank you for coming. DP: How could I resist. Mr Briatorie here tells me he has some kind of job he'd like me to do for him BE: I'm sure he has! *the three behind the desk snigger like school boys* JT: Let me cut to the chase Miss Patrick, I know you have been over at the NASCAR bureua but have you heard of a project called 'The F1 Files' DP: I have heard the name yes. BE: and your understanding of it? *Flavio lights another cigarette* DP: My understand...

Rooters News Well 2011 draws inexorably to a close and the staff in Fenderman's Head are asking themselves the question "Was it all worth it?" "So," thought Tellie Fenderman "how shall we find out?" Rad Booton, lost in deep thought about the future possibilities for a fictional character residing in a rather crowded fictional office, inside a fictional head, inside a real head living somewhere in Kent, Blighty, said "Pardon?" Tellie thought his question again and Rad piped up "Readers Survey!" "Brilliant idea," thought Tellie, "Make it so!" And thus, so it came to pass that, at great personal risk to his feelings, Rad Booton has posted this poll on that illustrious domain known as Clip The Apex - Clip The Apex Presents. Of...